The Taming of the Shrew · Act 5, Scene 1

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GREMIO discovered. Enter behind BIONDELLO, LUCENTIO, and BIANCA
GREMIO discovered. Enter behind BIONDELLO, LUCENTIO, and BIANCA
Biondello

Softly and swiftly, sir; for the priest is ready.

Biondello

Quietly and quickly, sir; the priest is ready.

Lucentio

I fly, Biondello: but they may chance to need thee at home; therefore leave us.

Lucentio

I’m off, Biondello: but they might need you back home, so go ahead and leave us.

Biondello

Nay, faith, I’ll see the church o’ your back; and then come back to my master’s as soon as I can.

Biondello

No, really, I’ll make sure the church is all set for you; and then I’ll return to my master as soon as I can.

Exeunt LUCENTIO, BIANCA, and BIONDELLO
Exeunt LUCENTIO, BIANCA, and BIONDELLO
Gremio

I marvel Cambio comes not all this while.

Gremio

I wonder why Cambio hasn’t shown up yet.

Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, VINCENTIO, GRUMIO, with Attendants
Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, VINCENTIO, GRUMIO, with Attendants
Petruchio

Sir, here’s the door, this is Lucentio’s house: My father’s bears more toward the market-place; Thither must I, and here I leave you, sir.

Petruchio

Sir, here’s the door, this is Lucentio’s house: My father’s house is closer to the market-place; I have to go there, so I’ll leave you here, sir.

Vincentio

You shall not choose but drink before you go: I think I shall command your welcome here, And, by all likelihood, some cheer is toward.

Vincentio

You really should have a drink before you leave: I think I’ll be able to make sure you’re welcomed here, and it looks like there’ll be some refreshments as well.

Knocks
Knocks
Gremio

They’re busy within; you were best knock louder.

Gremio

They’re busy inside; you’d better knock louder.

Pedant looks out of the window
Pedant looks out of the window
Pedant

What’s he that knocks as he would beat down the gate?

Pedant

Who’s knocking like they’re trying to knock the gate down?

Vincentio

Is Signior Lucentio within, sir?

Vincentio

Is Signior Lucentio in there, sir?

Pedant

He’s within, sir, but not to be spoken withal.

Pedant

He’s inside, sir, but you can’t speak to him.

Vincentio

What if a man bring him a hundred pound or two, to make merry withal?

Vincentio

What if someone gives him a hundred pounds or so, to have a good time with?

Pedant

Keep your hundred pounds to yourself: he shall need none, so long as I live.

Pedant

Keep your hundred pounds: he won’t need any as long as I live.

Petruchio

Nay, I told you your son was well beloved in Padua. Do you hear, sir? To leave frivolous circumstances, I pray you, tell Signior Lucentio that his father is come from Pisa, and is here at the door to speak with him.

Petruchio

No, I told you your son is well-liked in Padua. Do you hear me, sir? Let’s forget the silly details, and tell Signior Lucentio that his father has come from Pisa and is here at the door to speak to him.

Pedant

Thou liest: his father is come from Padua and here looking out at the window.

Pedant

You’re lying: his father has come from Padua and is standing at the window looking out.

Vincentio

Art thou his father?

Vincentio

Are you his father?

Pedant

Ay, sir; so his mother says, if I may believe her.

Pedant

Yes, sir; that’s what his mother says, if I can believe her.

Petruchio

[To VINCENTIO] Why, how now, gentleman! why, this is flat knavery, to take upon you another man’s name.

Petruchio

[To VINCENTIO] What’s this, man! This is outright trickery, to pretend to be someone else.

Pedant

Lay hands on the villain: I believe a’ means to cozen somebody in this city under my countenance.

Pedant

Grab him! I think he plans to cheat someone in this city with my help.

Re-enter BIONDELLO
Re-enter BIONDELLO
Biondello

I have seen them in the church together: God send ’em good shipping! But who is here? mine old master Vincentio! now we are undone and brought to nothing.

Biondello

I saw them together in church: may God bless them! But who is this? My old master Vincentio! Now we’re ruined and done for.

Vincentio

[Seeing BIONDELLO] Come hither, crack-hemp.

Vincentio

[Seeing BIONDELLO] Come here, you good-for-nothing.

Biondello

Hope I may choose, sir.

Biondello

I hope I get to choose, sir.

Vincentio

Come hither, you rogue. What, have you forgot me?

Vincentio

Come here, you rascal. What, have you forgotten me?

Biondello

Forgot you! no, sir: I could not forget you, for I never saw you before in all my life.

Biondello

Forgotten you! No, sir: I couldn’t forget you because I have never seen you before in my life.

Vincentio

What, you notorious villain, didst thou never see thy master’s father, Vincentio?

Vincentio

What, you despicable villain, have you never seen your master’s father, Vincentio?

Biondello

What, my old worshipful old master? yes, marry, sir: see where he looks out of the window.

Biondello

What, my old respected master? Yes, indeed, sir: look, he’s looking out of the window.

Vincentio

Is’t so, indeed.

Vincentio

Is it really so?

Beats BIONDELLO
Beats BIONDELLO
Biondello

Help, help, help! here’s a madman will murder me.

Biondello

Help, help, help! There’s a madman who’s going to kill me.

Exit
Exit
Pedant

Help, son! help, Signior Baptista!

Pedant

Help, son! Help, Mr. Baptista!

Exit from above
Exit from above
Petruchio

Prithee, Kate, let’s stand aside and see the end of this controversy.

Petruchio

Please, Kate, let’s step aside and watch the end of this argument.

They retire
They retire
Re-enter Pedant below; TRANIO, BAPTISTA, and Servants
Re-enter Pedant below; TRANIO, BAPTISTA, and Servants
Tranio

Sir, what are you that offer to beat my servant?

Tranio

Sir, who are you to try to hit my servant?

Vincentio

What am I, sir! nay, what are you, sir? O immortal gods! O fine villain! A silken doublet! a velvet hose! a scarlet cloak! and a copatain hat! O, I am undone! I am undone! while I play the good husband at home, my son and my servant spend all at the university.

Vincentio

Who am I, sir? No, who are you, sir? Oh, immortal gods! Oh, what a fine villain! A fancy jacket! Velvet pants! A bright red cloak! And a fancy hat! Oh, I am ruined! I am ruined! While I try to be a good husband at home, my son and my servant are wasting all my money at the university.

Tranio

How now! what’s the matter?

Tranio

What’s going on? What’s the matter?

Baptista

What, is the man lunatic?

Baptista

What, is this man crazy?

Tranio

Sir, you seem a sober ancient gentleman by your habit, but your words show you a madman. Why, sir, what ’cerns it you if I wear pearl and gold? I thank my good father, I am able to maintain it.

Tranio

Sir, you look like a respectable older gentleman from your clothing, but your words show you’re insane. Why, sir, does it matter to you if I wear pearls and gold? I thank my good father, I can afford it.

Vincentio

Thy father! O villain! he is a sailmaker in Bergamo.

Vincentio

Your father! Oh, villain! He’s a sailmaker in Bergamo.

Baptista

You mistake, sir, you mistake, sir. Pray, what do you think is his name?

Baptista

You’re wrong, sir, you’re wrong, sir. Tell me, what do you think his name is?

Vincentio

His name! as if I knew not his name: I have brought him up ever since he was three years old, and his name is Tranio.

Vincentio

His name! As if I didn’t know his name: I’ve raised him since he was three years old, and his name is Tranio.

Pedant

Away, away, mad ass! his name is Lucentio and he is mine only son, and heir to the lands of me, Signior Vincentio.

Pedant

Stop, stop, you mad fool! His name is Lucentio, and he is my only son, and heir to my lands, I, Signior Vincentio.

Vincentio

Lucentio! O, he hath murdered his master! Lay hold on him, I charge you, in the duke’s name. O, my son, my son! Tell me, thou villain, where is my son Lucentio?

Vincentio

Lucentio! Oh, he’s killed his master! Grab him, I order you, in the duke’s name. Oh, my son, my son! Tell me, you scoundrel, where is my son Lucentio?

Tranio

Call forth an officer.

Tranio

Call for an officer.

Enter one with an Officer
Enter one with an Officer
Tranio

Carry this mad knave to the gaol. Father Baptista, I charge you see that he be forthcoming.

Tranio

Take this mad fool to jail. Father Baptista, I order you to make sure he is brought forward.

Vincentio

Carry me to the gaol!

Vincentio

Take me to jail!

Gremio

Stay, officer: he shall not go to prison.

Gremio

Wait, officer: he should not go to prison.

Baptista

Talk not, Signior Gremio: I say he shall go to prison.

Baptista

Don’t talk, Signior Gremio: I say he will go to prison.

Gremio

Take heed, Signior Baptista, lest you be cony-catched in this business: I dare swear this is the right Vincentio.

Gremio

Be careful, Signior Baptista, or you’ll be tricked in this matter: I swear this is the real Vincentio.

Pedant

Swear, if thou darest.

Pedant

Swear it, if you dare.

Gremio

Nay, I dare not swear it.

Gremio

No, I won’t swear to it.

Tranio

Then thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio.

Tranio

Then you’d better say that I’m not Lucentio.

Gremio

Yes, I know thee to be Signior Lucentio.

Gremio

Yes, I know you are Signior Lucentio.

Baptista

Away with the dotard! to the gaol with him!

Baptista

Get rid of the fool! Take him to jail!

Vincentio

Thus strangers may be hailed and abused: O monstrous villain!

Vincentio

So this is how strangers can be welcomed and mistreated: Oh monstrous villain!

Re-enter BIONDELLO, with LUCENTIO and BIANCA
Re-enter BIONDELLO, with LUCENTIO and BIANCA
Biondello

O! we are spoiled and--yonder he is: deny him, forswear him, or else we are all undone.

Biondello

Oh! We’re ruined and--there he is: deny him, reject him, or else we’re all finished.

Lucentio

[Kneeling] Pardon, sweet father.

Lucentio

[Kneeling] Please forgive me, dear father.

Vincentio

Lives my sweet son?

Vincentio

Is my sweet son still alive?

Exeunt BIONDELLO, TRANIO, and Pedant, as fast as may be
Exeunt BIONDELLO, TRANIO, and Pedant, as fast as may be
Bianca

Pardon, dear father.

Bianca

Please forgive me, dear father.

Baptista

How hast thou offended? Where is Lucentio?

Baptista

How have you wronged me? Where is Lucentio?

Lucentio

Here’s Lucentio, Right son to the right Vincentio; That have by marriage made thy daughter mine, While counterfeit supposes bleared thine eyne.

Lucentio

Here’s Lucentio, The true son of the real Vincentio; Who, by marriage, made your daughter mine, While fake identities deceived you.

Gremio

Here’s packing, with a witness to deceive us all!

Gremio

Here’s a trick, with proof to fool us all!

Vincentio

Where is that damned villain Tranio, That faced and braved me in this matter so?

Vincentio

Where is that damned villain Tranio, Who dared to challenge and deceive me in this way?

Baptista

Why, tell me, is not this my Cambio?

Baptista

Why, tell me, isn’t this my Cambio?

Bianca

Cambio is changed into Lucentio.

Bianca

Cambio has turned into Lucentio.

Lucentio

Love wrought these miracles. Bianca’s love Made me exchange my state with Tranio, While he did bear my countenance in the town; And happily I have arrived at the last Unto the wished haven of my bliss. What Tranio did, myself enforced him to; Then pardon him, sweet father, for my sake.

Lucentio

Love worked these miracles. Bianca’s love Made me swap places with Tranio, While he pretended to be me in town; And fortunately, I’ve arrived at last To the hoped-for harbor of my happiness. What Tranio did, I made him do; So forgive him, dear father, for my sake.

Vincentio

I’ll slit the villain’s nose, that would have sent me to the gaol.

Vincentio

I’ll cut off the villain’s nose, who would have sent me to prison.

Baptista

But do you hear, sir? have you married my daughter without asking my good will?

Baptista

But listen, sir, did you marry my daughter without asking for my permission?

Vincentio

Fear not, Baptista; we will content you, go to: but I will in, to be revenged for this villany.

Vincentio

Don’t worry, Baptista; we’ll satisfy you, just wait: but I’m going inside to get revenge for this wickedness.

Exit
Exit
Baptista

And I, to sound the depth of this knavery.

Baptista

And I will find out the truth behind this trickery.

Exit
Exit
Lucentio

Look not pale, Bianca; thy father will not frown.

Lucentio

Don’t look so pale, Bianca; your father won’t be angry.

Exeunt LUCENTIO and BIANCA
Exeunt LUCENTIO and BIANCA
Gremio

My cake is dough; but I’ll in among the rest, Out of hope of all, but my share of the feast.

Gremio

I’m out of luck, but I’ll join the others, Hoping for something, even if it’s just my share of the feast.

Exit
Exit
Katharina

Husband, let’s follow, to see the end of this ado.

Katharina

Husband, let’s follow them to see how this all turns out.

Petruchio

First kiss me, Kate, and we will.

Petruchio

First kiss me, Kate, and we’ll go.

Katharina

What, in the midst of the street?

Katharina

What, right here in the street?

Petruchio

What, art thou ashamed of me?

Petruchio

What, are you embarrassed by me?

Katharina

No, sir, God forbid; but ashamed to kiss.

Katharina

No, sir, God forbid; just embarrassed to kiss.

Petruchio

Why, then let’s home again. Come, sirrah, let’s away.

Petruchio

Well, then let’s go home. Come on, let’s leave.

Katharina

Nay, I will give thee a kiss: now pray thee, love, stay.

Katharina

No, I’ll give you a kiss; now please, love, stay.

Petruchio

Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate: Better once than never, for never too late.

Petruchio

Isn’t this good? Come on, my sweet Kate: Better once than never, and it’s never too late.

Exuent
Exit all

End of Act 5, Scene 1

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