The Taming of the Shrew · Act 5, Scene 2

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Enter BAPTISTA, VINCENTIO, GREMIO, the Pedant, LUCENTIO, BIANCA, PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, HORTENSIO, and Widow, TRANIO, BIONDELLO, and GRUMIO the Serving-men with Tranio bringing in a banquet
Enter BAPTISTA, VINCENTIO, GREMIO, the Pedant, LUCENTIO, BIANCA, PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, HORTENSIO, and Widow, TRANIO, BIONDELLO, and GRUMIO the Serving-men with Tranio bringing in a banquet
Lucentio

At last, though long, our jarring notes agree: And time it is, when raging war is done, To smile at scapes and perils overblown. My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome, While I with self-same kindness welcome thine. Brother Petruchio, sister Katharina, And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow, Feast with the best, and welcome to my house: My banquet is to close our stomachs up, After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down; For now we sit to chat as well as eat.

Lucentio

Finally, after all this time, we’re in harmony: And it’s the right time, now that the fighting’s over, To laugh about all the dangers that were overblown. My lovely Bianca, welcome my father, While I, with the same kindness, welcome yours. Brother Petruchio, sister Katharina, And you, Hortensio, with your beloved widow, Enjoy the best, and welcome to my house: My banquet is to fill our stomachs, After our big feast. Please, sit down; Now we sit to talk as much as to eat.

Petruchio

Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!

Petruchio

All we do is sit and sit, and eat and eat!

Baptista

Padua affords this kindness, son Petruchio.

Baptista

Padua offers this kind hospitality, son Petruchio.

Petruchio

Padua affords nothing but what is kind.

Petruchio

Padua offers only what’s kind.

Hortensio

For both our sakes, I would that word were true.

Hortensio

For both our sakes, I wish that were true.

Petruchio

Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.

Petruchio

Honestly, Hortensio, you’re afraid of your widow.

Widow

Then never trust me, if I be afeard.

Widow

Then never trust me if I’m afraid.

Petruchio

You are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense: I mean, Hortensio is afeard of you.

Petruchio

You’re very smart, but you don’t get what I’m saying: I mean, Hortensio is afraid of you.

Widow

He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

Widow

The dizzy one thinks the world is spinning.

Petruchio

Roundly replied.

Petruchio

Well said.

Katharina

Mistress, how mean you that?

Katharina

What do you mean by that, Mistress?

Widow

Thus I conceive by him.

Widow

This is what I understand from him.

Petruchio

Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?

Petruchio

You understand me! How does Hortensio feel about that?

Hortensio

My widow says, thus she conceives her tale.

Hortensio

My widow says, this is how she understands her story.

Petruchio

Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow.

Petruchio

Very well said. Kiss him for that, good widow.

Katharina

’He that is giddy thinks the world turns round:’ I pray you, tell me what you meant by that.

Katharina

"He who is dizzy thinks the world is spinning:" Please tell me what you meant by that.

Widow

Your husband, being troubled with a shrew, Measures my husband’s sorrow by his woe: And now you know my meaning,

Widow

Your husband, being bothered by a sharp-tongued woman, Measures my husband’s pain by his suffering: And now you understand what I meant,

Katharina

A very mean meaning.

Katharina

A very poor explanation.

Widow

Right, I mean you.

Widow

Exactly, I meant you.

Katharina

And I am mean indeed, respecting you.

Katharina

And I am indeed poor, considering you.

Petruchio

To her, Kate!

Petruchio

To her, Kate!

Hortensio

To her, widow!

Hortensio

To her, widow!

Petruchio

A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.

Petruchio

A hundred marks, my Kate puts her in her place.

Hortensio

That’s my office.

Hortensio

That’s my job.

Petruchio

Spoke like an officer; ha’ to thee, lad!

Petruchio

Well said like a servant; here’s to you, lad!

Drinks to HORTENSIO
Drinks to HORTENSIO
Baptista

How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?

Baptista

How does Gremio like these quick-thinking people?

Gremio

Believe me, sir, they butt together well.

Gremio

Believe me, sir, they get along very well.

Bianca

Head, and butt! an hasty-witted body Would say your head and butt were head and horn.

Bianca

Head, and butt! A quick-witted person Would say your head and your backside were the same.

Vincentio

Ay, mistress bride, hath that awaken’d you?

Vincentio

Yes, bride, has that woken you up?

Bianca

Ay, but not frighted me; therefore I’ll sleep again.

Bianca

Yes, but it didn’t scare me; so I’ll go back to sleep.

Petruchio

Nay, that you shall not: since you have begun, Have at you for a bitter jest or two!

Petruchio

No, you won’t: since you’ve started this, I’ll go after you with a few harsh jokes!

Bianca

Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush; And then pursue me as you draw your bow. You are welcome all.

Bianca

Am I your target? I’m going to change my plans; And then you can chase me like you would with an arrow. You’re welcome to try.

Exeunt BIANCA, KATHARINA, and Widow
Exeunt BIANCA, KATHARINA, and Widow
Petruchio

She hath prevented me. Here, Signior Tranio. This bird you aim’d at, though you hit her not; Therefore a health to all that shot and miss’d.

Petruchio

She’s stopped me. Here, Signior Tranio. This bird you were aiming for, even though you missed her; So here’s to everyone who shot and missed.

Tranio

O, sir, Lucentio slipp’d me like his greyhound, Which runs himself and catches for his master.

Tranio

Oh, sir, Lucentio left me behind like his greyhound, Which runs ahead and catches the prey for its master.

Petruchio

A good swift simile, but something currish.

Petruchio

A good, quick comparison, but a bit rough.

Tranio

’Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself: ’Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay.

Tranio

It’s true, sir, that you hunted for yourself: It’s said your deer has you stuck at a standstill.

Baptista

O ho, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now.

Baptista

Oh, Petruchio! Tranio’s got you there.

Lucentio

I thank thee for that gird, good Tranio.

Lucentio

Thanks for that jab, good Tranio.

Hortensio

Confess, confess, hath he not hit you here?

Hortensio

Admit it, admit it, hasn’t he got you with that one?

Petruchio

A’ has a little gall’d me, I confess; And, as the jest did glance away from me, ’Tis ten to one it maim’d you two outright.

Petruchio

He’s stung me a little, I admit; And since the joke went right over my head, I’d say it probably hurt you two a lot more.

Baptista

Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio, I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all.

Baptista

Honestly, son Petruchio, I think you’ve got the worst wife of all.

Petruchio

Well, I say no: and therefore for assurance Let’s each one send unto his wife; And he whose wife is most obedient To come at first when he doth send for her, Shall win the wager which we will propose.

Petruchio

Well, I disagree: and just to be sure, Let’s each send for our wives; And the one whose wife is the most obedient To come when called shall win the bet we make.

Hortensio

Content. What is the wager?

Hortensio

Fine. What’s the bet?

Lucentio

Twenty crowns.

Lucentio

Twenty crowns.

Petruchio

Twenty crowns! I’ll venture so much of my hawk or hound, But twenty times so much upon my wife.

Petruchio

Twenty crowns! I’ll bet that much on my hawk or dog, But I’ll bet twenty times that much on my wife.

Lucentio

A hundred then.

Lucentio

A hundred then.

Hortensio

Content.

Hortensio

Fine.

Petruchio

A match! ’tis done.

Petruchio

It’s a deal! It’s settled.

Hortensio

Who shall begin?

Hortensio

Who’s going first?

Lucentio

That will I. Go, Biondello, bid your mistress come to me.

Lucentio

I’ll go. Go, Biondello, tell your mistress to come to me.

Biondello

I go.

Biondello

I’m going.

Exit
Exit
Baptista

Son, I’ll be your half, Bianca comes.

Baptista

Son, I’ll be your partner, Bianca is coming.

Lucentio

I’ll have no halves; I’ll bear it all myself.

Lucentio

I don’t need a partner; I’ll handle it all myself.

Re-enter BIONDELLO
Re-enter BIONDELLO
Lucentio

How now! what news?

Lucentio

How’s it going? What’s the news?

Biondello

Sir, my mistress sends you word That she is busy and she cannot come.

Biondello

Sir, my mistress sends you word That she’s busy and can’t come.

Petruchio

How! she is busy and she cannot come! Is that an answer?

Petruchio

What! She’s busy and can’t come! Is that really the answer?

Gremio

Ay, and a kind one too: Pray God, sir, your wife send you not a worse.

Gremio

Yes, and it’s a kind one too: I pray, sir, that your wife doesn’t send you something worse.

Petruchio

I hope better.

Petruchio

I hope for something better.

Hortensio

Sirrah Biondello, go and entreat my wife To come to me forthwith.

Hortensio

Biondello, go and ask my wife To come to me right away.

Exit BIONDELLO
Exit BIONDELLO
Petruchio

O, ho! entreat her! Nay, then she must needs come.

Petruchio

Oh, really? Ask her? Well, then she has to come.

Hortensio

I am afraid, sir, Do what you can, yours will not be entreated.

Hortensio

I’m afraid, sir, No matter what you do, she won’t listen.

Re-enter BIONDELLO
Re-enter BIONDELLO
Hortensio

Now, where’s my wife?

Hortensio

Now, where’s my wife?

Biondello

She says you have some goodly jest in hand: She will not come: she bids you come to her.

Biondello

She says you have some joke going on: She won’t come; she tells you to go to her.

Petruchio

Worse and worse; she will not come! O vile, Intolerable, not to be endured! Sirrah Grumio, go to your mistress; Say, I command her to come to me.

Petruchio

Worse and worse; she won’t come! Oh, this is awful, Unbearable, completely intolerable! Biondello, go to your mistress; Tell her I order her to come to me.

Exit GRUMIO
Exit GRUMIO
Hortensio

I know her answer.

Hortensio

I know what she’ll say.

Petruchio

What?

Petruchio

What?

Hortensio

She will not.

Hortensio

She won’t come.

Petruchio

The fouler fortune mine, and there an end.

Petruchio

My luck just keeps getting worse, and that’s the end of it.

Baptista

Now, by my holidame, here comes Katharina!

Baptista

By my word, here comes Katharina!

Re-enter KATARINA
Re-enter KATARINA
Katharina

What is your will, sir, that you send for me?

Katharina

What do you want, sir, that you called for me?

Petruchio

Where is your sister, and Hortensio’s wife?

Petruchio

Where is your sister, and Hortensio’s wife?

Katharina

They sit conferring by the parlor fire.

Katharina

They’re sitting and talking by the parlor fire.

Petruchio

Go fetch them hither: if they deny to come. Swinge me them soundly forth unto their husbands: Away, I say, and bring them hither straight.

Petruchio

Go get them: if they refuse to come, Give them a good hard smack and send them to their husbands: Go, I say, and bring them here right now.

Exit KATHARINA
Exit KATHARINA
Lucentio

Here is a wonder, if you talk of a wonder.

Lucentio

Here’s a surprise, if you’re talking about surprises.

Hortensio

And so it is: I wonder what it bodes.

Hortensio

And so it is: I wonder what this means.

Petruchio

Marry, peace it bodes, and love and quiet life, And awful rule and right supremacy; And, to be short, what not, that’s sweet and happy?

Petruchio

Well, it means peace, and love, and a quiet life, And respectful authority and rightful power; And, to put it briefly, everything that’s sweet and happy.

Baptista

Now, fair befal thee, good Petruchio! The wager thou hast won; and I will add Unto their losses twenty thousand crowns; Another dowry to another daughter, For she is changed, as she had never been.

Baptista

Now, may good fortune be with you, good Petruchio! You’ve won the wager; and I will add Twenty thousand crowns to their losses; Another dowry for another daughter, Since she’s changed, as though she had never been.

Petruchio

Nay, I will win my wager better yet And show more sign of her obedience, Her new-built virtue and obedience. See where she comes and brings your froward wives As prisoners to her womanly persuasion.

Petruchio

No, I’ll win my bet even better, And show more proof of her obedience, Her newly built virtue and obedience. Look, here she comes, bringing your rebellious wives As captives to her womanly influence.

Re-enter KATHARINA, with BIANCA and Widow
Re-enter KATHARINA, with BIANCA and Widow
Petruchio

Katharina, that cap of yours becomes you not: Off with that bauble, throw it under-foot.

Petruchio

Katharina, that hat of yours doesn’t suit you: Take it off, throw it on the ground.

Widow

Lord, let me never have a cause to sigh, Till I be brought to such a silly pass!

Widow

Lord, may I never have a reason to complain, Until I’m brought to such a ridiculous state!

Bianca

Fie! what a foolish duty call you this?

Bianca

Fie! What kind of foolish obedience is this?

Lucentio

I would your duty were as foolish too: The wisdom of your duty, fair Bianca, Hath cost me an hundred crowns since supper-time.

Lucentio

I wish your obedience were just as foolish too: The wisdom of your obedience, fair Bianca, Has cost me a hundred crowns since dinner.

Bianca

The more fool you, for laying on my duty.

Bianca

You’re the bigger fool for paying attention to my obedience.

Petruchio

Katharina, I charge thee, tell these headstrong women What duty they do owe their lords and husbands.

Petruchio

Katharina, I tell you, explain to these stubborn women What duty they owe to their husbands and lords.

Widow

Come, come, you’re mocking: we will have no telling.

Widow

Come on, stop joking: we don’t want to hear this.

Petruchio

Come on, I say; and first begin with her.

Petruchio

Come on, I say; start with her first.

Widow

She shall not.

Widow

She won’t.

Petruchio

I say she shall: and first begin with her.

Petruchio

I say she will: and begin with her first.

Katharina

Fie, fie! unknit that threatening unkind brow, And dart not scornful glances from those eyes, To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor: It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads, Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds, And in no sense is meet or amiable. A woman moved is like a fountain troubled, Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty; And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it. Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper, Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee, And for thy maintenance commits his body To painful labour both by sea and land, To watch the night in storms, the day in cold, Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe; And craves no other tribute at thy hands But love, fair looks and true obedience; Too little payment for so great a debt. Such duty as the subject owes the prince Even such a woman oweth to her husband; And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour, And not obedient to his honest will, What is she but a foul contending rebel And graceless traitor to her loving lord? I am ashamed that women are so simple To offer war where they should kneel for peace; Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway, When they are bound to serve, love and obey. Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth, Unapt to toil and trouble in the world, But that our soft conditions and our hearts Should well agree with our external parts? Come, come, you froward and unable worms! My mind hath been as big as one of yours, My heart as great, my reason haply more, To bandy word for word and frown for frown; But now I see our lances are but straws, Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare, That seeming to be most which we indeed least are. Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot, And place your hands below your husband’s foot: In token of which duty, if he please, My hand is ready; may it do him ease.

Katharina

Shame on you! Stop making that angry face, And don’t give me those scornful looks, That wound your husband, your king, your ruler: It ruins your beauty like frost ruins the meadows, Damages your reputation like a storm shakes the flowers, And it’s neither fitting nor attractive. A woman who’s upset is like a muddy fountain, Dirty, unattractive, thick, without beauty; And while it’s like this, no one will want to drink Or even touch it. Your husband is your lord, your life, your protector, Your head, your ruler; someone who cares for you, And works hard to provide for you, Working both at sea and on land, Staying up at night in storms, enduring cold by day, While you lie at home, safe and warm; And he asks for nothing from you But love, kindness, and true obedience; That’s too little for such a big debt. A woman owes the same duty to her husband As a subject owes to their prince; And when she’s difficult, sulky, moody, bitter, And doesn’t follow his honest wishes, What is she but a rebellious traitor And an ungrateful enemy to her loving husband? I’m embarrassed that women are so foolish To start a fight when they should be asking for peace; Or want control, power, and dominance, When they’re meant to serve, love, and obey. Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth, Unfit for the hard work and struggles of the world, Except that our delicate nature and our hearts Should match our gentle appearance? Come on, come on, you difficult and useless worms! I’ve had a mind as big as any of yours, A heart as big, my reason probably stronger, To argue word for word and frown for frown; But now I see that our strength is like straw, Weak and helpless beyond comparison, And what looks like strength is really nothing at all. So bow your heads, it’s pointless to resist, And place your hands at your husband’s feet: In proof of this duty, if he wants, My hand is ready; may it bring him peace.

Petruchio

Why, there’s a wench! Come on, and kiss me, Kate.

Petruchio

Well, that’s a girl! Come on, kiss me, Kate.

Lucentio

Well, go thy ways, old lad; for thou shalt ha’t.

Lucentio

Well, go on then, old man; you’ve won.

Vincentio

’Tis a good hearing when children are toward.

Vincentio

It’s good to hear when children are turning out well.

Lucentio

But a harsh hearing when women are froward.

Lucentio

But it’s harsh when women are stubborn.

Petruchio

Come, Kate, we’ll to bed. We three are married, but you two are sped.

Petruchio

Come, Kate, let’s go to bed. We’re all married now, but you two are finished.

To LUCENTIO
To LUCENTIO
Petruchio

’Twas I won the wager, though you hit the white; And, being a winner, God give you good night!

Petruchio

I won the bet, even though you hit the target; And as the winner, goodnight to you!

Exeunt PETRUCHIO and KATHARINA
Exeunt PETRUCHIO and KATHARINA
Hortensio

Now, go thy ways; thou hast tamed a curst shrew.

Hortensio

Well, off you go; you’ve tamed a cursed shrew.

Lucentio

’Tis a wonder, by your leave, she will be tamed so.

Lucentio

It’s a wonder, if I may say, she’ll be tamed like that.

Exuent
They exit

End of Act 5, Scene 2

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