Original
Modern English
Heigh-ho! an it be not four by the day, I’ll be hanged: Charles’ wain is over the new chimney, and yet our horse not packed. What, ostler!
Hey! If it’s not four in the morning, I’ll be hanged: Charles’ Wain is over the new chimney, and yet our horse isn’t packed. What, stableman!
[Within] Anon, anon.
[Inside] Right away, right away.
I prithee, Tom, beat Cut’s saddle, put a few flocks in the point; poor jade, is wrung in the withers out of all cess.
Please, Tom, beat Cut’s saddle, put some straw in the point; poor horse, it’s sore in the back from all the work.
Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog, and that is the next way to give poor jades the bots: this house is turned upside down since Robin Ostler died.
Peas and beans are as wet here as a dog, and that is just what causes poor horses to get colic: this inn has been a mess ever since Robin Ostler died.
Poor fellow, never joyed since the price of oats rose; it was the death of him.
Poor guy, he never had any joy after the price of oats went up; that was what killed him.
I think this be the most villanous house in all London road for fleas: I am stung like a tench.
I think this is the worst inn on the whole London road for fleas: I’m getting bitten like crazy.
Like a tench! by the mass, there is ne’er a king christen could be better bit than I have been since the first cock.
Like crazy! By God, no king could be bitten worse than I have been since the first rooster crowed.
Why, they will allow us ne’er a jordan, and then we leak in your chimney; and your chamber-lie breeds fleas like a loach.
Why, they won’t even give us a chamber pot, and then we leak in your fireplace; and your bed makes fleas like a fish.
What, ostler! come away and be hanged!
What, stableman! Come here and be hanged!
I have a gammon of bacon and two razors of ginger, to be delivered as far as Charing-cross.
I have a ham of bacon and two pieces of ginger, to be delivered as far as Charing Cross.
God’s body! the turkeys in my pannier are quite starved. What, ostler! A plague on thee! hast thou never an eye in thy head? canst not hear? An ’twere not as good deed as drink, to break the pate on thee, I am a very villain. Come, and be hanged! hast thou no faith in thee?
God’s body! The turkeys in my basket are completely starved. What, stableman! A plague on you! Don’t you have any sense? Can’t you hear? If it wasn’t a good deed to break your head, I’d be a real villain. Come on, and be hanged! Don’t you have any faith in yourself?
Good morrow, carriers. What’s o’clock?
Good morning, carriers. What time is it?
I think it be two o’clock.
I think it’s two o’clock.
I pray thee lend me thy lantern, to see my gelding in the stable.
Please, lend me your lantern so I can check on my horse in the stable.
Nay, by God, soft; I know a trick worth two of that, i’ faith.
No, by God, hold on; I know a trick that’s better than that, for sure.
I pray thee, lend me thine.
Please, lend me yours.
Ay, when? can’st tell? Lend me thy lantern, quoth he? marry, I’ll see thee hanged first.
Yeah, when? Can you tell me? Lend me your lantern, you say? Hell, I’ll see you hanged first.
Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to London?
Hey, carrier, what time do you plan on getting to London?
Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant thee. Come, neighbour Mugs, we’ll call up the gentleman: they will along with company, for they have great charge.
Plenty of time to go to bed with a candle, I bet you. Come on, neighbor Mugs, we’ll wake up the gentleman: they’ll be traveling with company, since they have a lot to manage.
What, ho! chamberlain!
What, hey! Chamberlain!
[Within] At hand, quoth pick-purse.
[Within] Coming, pickpocket.
That’s even as fair as--at hand, quoth the chamberlain; for thou variest no more from picking of purses than giving direction doth from labouring; thou layest the plot how.
That’s just like saying—coming, says the Chamberlain; you’re no different from picking pockets as much as giving directions is from doing real work; you set up the plan, how.
Good morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that I told you yesternight: there’s a franklin in the wild of Kent hath brought three hundred marks with him in gold: I heard him tell it to one of his company last night at supper; a kind of auditor; one that hath abundance of charge too, God knows what. They are up already, and call for eggs and butter; they will away presently.
Good morning, Master Gadshill. It’s just as I told you last night: there’s a wealthy landowner in the wilds of Kent who brought three hundred marks in gold with him. I heard him mention it to one of his companions at dinner last night; some kind of auditor; someone with plenty of money to manage, though God knows what else. They’re already up, and asking for eggs and butter; they’ll be leaving soon.
Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas’ clerks, I’ll give thee this neck.
Hey, if they don’t run into Saint Nicholas’ clerks, I’ll give you this neck.
No, I’ll none of it: I pray thee keep that for the hangman; for I know thou worshippest St. Nicholas as truly as a man of falsehood may.
No, I want no part of that: please keep that for the hangman; I know you worship Saint Nicholas as truly as a dishonest man can.
What talkest thou to me of the hangman? if I hang, I’ll make a fat pair of gallows; for if I hang, old Sir John hangs with me, and thou knowest he is no starveling. Tut! there are other Trojans that thou dreamest not of, the which for sport sake are content to do the profession some grace; that would, if matters should be looked into, for their own credit sake, make all whole. I am joined with no foot-land rakers, no long-staff sixpenny strikers, none of these mad mustachio purple-hued malt-worms; but with nobility and tranquillity, burgomasters and great oneyers, such as can hold in, such as will strike sooner than speak, and speak sooner than drink, and drink sooner than pray: and yet, zounds, I lie; for they pray continually to their saint, the commonwealth; or rather, not pray to her, but prey on her, for they ride up and down on her and make her their boots.
What are you talking to me about the hangman for? If I hang, I’ll make a fat pair of gallows; because if I hang, old Sir John will hang with me, and you know he’s no weakling. Come on! There are other guys like us that you don’t even know about, who for fun’s sake are willing to make the profession look good; they would, if things were looked into, for their own reputation, make everything right. I’m not hanging out with any lowlifes, no petty criminals, none of these crazy, showy, drunk guys; but with nobles and wealthy, respectable men, mayors and big-time businessmen, men who can keep it together, men who will act first, talk second, talk second, drink third, and drink third, pray last: and yet, damn it, I’m lying; because they’re always praying to their saint, the state; or rather, they don’t pray to it, but prey on it, because they ride around on it and use it like a doormat.
What, the commonwealth their boots? will she hold out water in foul way?
What, the state is their doormat? Will it hold out water in a dirty way?
She will, she will; justice hath liquored her. We steal as in a castle, cocksure; we have the receipt of fern-seed, we walk invisible.
It will, it will; justice has drunk it down. We steal like we’re in a fortress, totally sure of ourselves; we have the secret of fern-seed, we walk unseen.
Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholding to the night than to fern-seed for your walking invisible.
No, by my faith, I think you’re more dependent on the night than on fern-seed for being invisible.
Give me thy hand: thou shalt have a share in our purchase, as I am a true man.
Give me your hand: you’ll get a cut in our earnings, as I’m a honest man.
Nay, rather let me have it, as you are a false thief.
No, let me have it, as you’re a lying thief.
Go to; ’homo’ is a common name to all men. Bid the ostler bring my gelding out of the stable. Farewell, you muddy knave.
Oh, stop it; ‘man’ is a common name for all people. Tell the stableboy to bring my gelding out of the stable. Goodbye, you dirty fool.