Original
Modern English
Servant!
Servant!
Mistress?
Mistress?
Master, Sir Thurio frowns on you.
Master, Sir Thurio is angry with you.
Ay, boy, it’s for love.
Yes, boy, it’s because of love.
Not of you.
Not because of you.
Of my mistress, then.
Then it’s because of my mistress.
’Twere good you knocked him.
It’d be good if you punched him.
Servant, you are sad.
Servant, you look sad.
Indeed, madam, I seem so.
Yes, madam, I do seem that way.
Seem you that you are not?
Do you seem sad when you’re not?
Haply I do.
Maybe I do.
So do counterfeits.
So do pretenders.
So do you.
So do you.
What seem I that I am not?
What do I seem that I am not?
Wise.
Smart.
What instance of the contrary?
What proof do you have of the opposite?
Your folly.
Your stupidity.
And how quote you my folly?
And how do you show my stupidity?
I quote it in your jerkin.
I show it by your jacket.
My jerkin is a doublet.
My jacket is a coat.
Well, then, I’ll double your folly.
Fine, then I’ll make your stupidity even worse.
How?
How?
What, angry, Sir Thurio! do you change colour?
What, angry, Sir Thurio! Are you turning red?
Give him leave, madam; he is a kind of chameleon.
Let him speak, madam; he’s like a chameleon.
That hath more mind to feed on your blood than live in your air.
He’d rather feed on your blood than breathe your air.
You have said, sir.
You’ve said it, sir.
Ay, sir, and done too, for this time.
Yes, and I’ve done it too, for now.
I know it well, sir; you always end ere you begin.
I know it, sir; you always finish before you start.
A fine volley of words, gentlemen, and quickly shot off.
A nice exchange of words, gentlemen, and quickly said.
’Tis indeed, madam; we thank the giver.
It truly is, madam; we thank the one who gave it.
Who is that, servant?
Who is it, servant?
Yourself, sweet lady; for you gave the fire. Sir Thurio borrows his wit from your ladyship’s looks, and spends what he borrows kindly in your company.
You, sweet lady; you sparked the fire. Sir Thurio borrows his cleverness from your beauty, and spends it generously in your presence.
Sir, if you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.
Sir, if you keep matching words with me, I’ll leave your wit bankrupt.
I know it well, sir; you have an exchequer of words, and, I think, no other treasure to give your followers, for it appears by their bare liveries, that they live by your bare words.
I know, sir; you’ve got a vault of words, and I think that’s all you have to offer your followers, since their shabby clothes show they live on your empty words.
No more, gentlemen, no more:--here comes my father.
Enough, gentlemen, enough:—my father’s coming.
Now, daughter Silvia, you are hard beset. Sir Valentine, your father’s in good health: What say you to a letter from your friends Of much good news?
Now, daughter Silvia, you’re in a tough spot. Sir Valentine, your father’s well: What do you think of a letter from your friends with good news?
My lord, I will be thankful. To any happy messenger from thence.
My lord, I’ll be grateful. For any happy messenger from there.
Know ye Don Antonio, your countryman?
Do you know Don Antonio, your fellow countryman?
Ay, my good lord, I know the gentleman To be of worth and worthy estimation And not without desert so well reputed.
Yes, my good lord, I know the man To be of good character and well respected And not without merit, so well thought of.
Hath he not a son?
Doesn’t he have a son?
Ay, my good lord; a son that well deserves The honour and regard of such a father.
Yes, my good lord; a son who truly deserves The honor and respect of such a father.
You know him well?
You know him well?
I know him as myself; for from our infancy We have conversed and spent our hours together: And though myself have been an idle truant, Omitting the sweet benefit of time To clothe mine age with angel-like perfection, Yet hath Sir Proteus, for that’s his name, Made use and fair advantage of his days; His years but young, but his experience old; His head unmellow’d, but his judgment ripe; And, in a word, for far behind his worth Comes all the praises that I now bestow, He is complete in feature and in mind With all good grace to grace a gentleman.
I know him as well as I know myself; for since we were children We have spent our time together: And even though I have been an irresponsible loafer, Wasting time instead of using it wisely To improve myself and grow into a perfect person, Sir Proteus, for that’s his name, Has made good use of his time; He’s young in years, but old in wisdom; His mind is mature, even if his head is still youthful; And in short, all the praise I now give him Is still far less than he deserves, He is complete in both appearance and character With all the qualities that make a man truly worthy.
Beshrew me, sir, but if he make this good, He is as worthy for an empress’ love As meet to be an emperor’s counsellor. Well, sir, this gentleman is come to me, With commendation from great potentates; And here he means to spend his time awhile: I think ’tis no unwelcome news to you.
By my word, sir, if he lives up to this, He is as worthy of an empress’ love As he is of being an emperor’s advisor. Well, sir, this gentleman has come to me, With recommendations from powerful people; And here he plans to stay for a while: I think this is good news for you.
Should I have wish’d a thing, it had been he.
If I had wished for anything, it would have been him.
Welcome him then according to his worth. Silvia, I speak to you, and you, Sir Thurio; For Valentine, I need not cite him to it: I will send him hither to you presently.
Then welcome him according to his worth. Silvia, I’m speaking to you, and you, Sir Thurio; As for Valentine, I don’t need to remind him: I’ll send him here to you right away.
This is the gentleman I told your ladyship Had come along with me, but that his mistress Did hold his eyes lock’d in her crystal looks.
This is the gentleman I told your ladyship Had come with me, but his lady Had him so captivated by her gaze.
Belike that now she hath enfranchised them Upon some other pawn for fealty.
Perhaps now she has freed him For some other purpose or duty.
Nay, sure, I think she holds them prisoners still.
No, I’m sure she still holds him captive.
Nay, then he should be blind; and, being blind How could he see his way to seek out you?
Well, then he should be blind; and, if he’s blind How could he possibly find his way to you?
Why, lady, Love hath twenty pair of eyes.
Why, lady, Love has twenty pairs of eyes.
They say that Love hath not an eye at all.
They say that Love has no eyes at all.
To see such lovers, Thurio, as yourself: Upon a homely object Love can wink.
That’s how it is with lovers like you, Thurio: Love can turn a blind eye to the plainest things.
Have done, have done; here comes the gentleman.
Enough, enough; here comes the man.
Welcome, dear Proteus! Mistress, I beseech you, Confirm his welcome with some special favour.
Welcome, dear Proteus! Lady, I beg you, Show him some special kindness to welcome him.
His worth is warrant for his welcome hither, If this be he you oft have wish’d to hear from.
His worth is enough reason to welcome him here, If this is the one you’ve often wanted to hear from.
Mistress, it is: sweet lady, entertain him To be my fellow-servant to your ladyship.
Lady, it is: sweet lady, welcome him To be my companion and servant to you.
Too low a mistress for so high a servant.
I’m too lowly a lady for such a noble servant.
Not so, sweet lady: but too mean a servant To have a look of such a worthy mistress.
Not so, sweet lady: I’m too humble a servant To be in the presence of such a worthy lady.
Leave off discourse of disability: Sweet lady, entertain him for your servant.
Stop talking about worthiness: Sweet lady, accept him as your servant.
My duty will I boast of; nothing else.
I will only boast of my duty; nothing more.
And duty never yet did want his meed: Servant, you are welcome to a worthless mistress.
And duty has always been rewarded: Servant, you’re welcome to a worthless mistress.
I’ll die on him that says so but yourself.
I’ll argue with anyone who says that, except you.
That you are welcome?
That you’re welcome?
That you are worthless.
That you’re worthless.
Madam, my lord your father would speak with you.
Madam, my lord your father wants to speak with you.
I wait upon his pleasure. Come, Sir Thurio, Go with me. Once more, new servant, welcome: I’ll leave you to confer of home affairs; When you have done, we look to hear from you.
I’m here to serve him. Come on, Sir Thurio, Come with me. Once again, welcome, new servant: I’ll leave you to talk about things at home; When you’re done, we expect to hear from you.
We’ll both attend upon your ladyship.
We’ll both be at your service, madam.
Now, tell me, how do all from whence you came?
Now, tell me, how is everything back home?
Your friends are well and have them much commended.
Your friends are fine and send their regards.
And how do yours?
And how about yours?
I left them all in health.
I left them all in good health.
How does your lady? and how thrives your love?
How’s your lady? And how is your love doing?
My tales of love were wont to weary you; I know you joy not in a love discourse.
My stories of love used to bore you; I know you don’t enjoy talking about love.
Ay, Proteus, but that life is alter’d now: I have done penance for contemning Love, Whose high imperious thoughts have punish’d me With bitter fasts, with penitential groans, With nightly tears and daily heart-sore sighs; For in revenge of my contempt of love, Love hath chased sleep from my enthralled eyes And made them watchers of mine own heart’s sorrow. O gentle Proteus, Love’s a mighty lord, And hath so humbled me, as, I confess, There is no woe to his correction, Nor to his service no such joy on earth. Now no discourse, except it be of love; Now can I break my fast, dine, sup and sleep, Upon the very naked name of love.
Yes, Proteus, but my life has changed now: I’ve paid for ignoring Love, Whose powerful thoughts have punished me With long fasts, with sorrowful groans, With nightly tears and daily heart-wrenching sighs; For in revenge for my disregard of love, Love has chased sleep from my entranced eyes And turned them into watchers of my heart’s sadness. Oh gentle Proteus, Love is a powerful king, And has humbled me so much that, I admit, There’s no suffering worse than his punishment, Nor any joy on earth greater than serving him. Now, no conversation, unless it’s about love; Now I can only eat, drink, sleep, and live On the very simple idea of love.
Enough; I read your fortune in your eye. Was this the idol that you worship so?
That’s enough; I can see your future in your eyes. Was this the object of your worship?
Even she; and is she not a heavenly saint?
Yes, it’s her; and isn’t she a heavenly saint?
No; but she is an earthly paragon.
No; but she’s an earthly perfection.
Call her divine.
Call her divine.
I will not flatter her.
I won’t flatter her.
O, flatter me; for love delights in praises.
Oh, flatter me; because love loves to be praised.
When I was sick, you gave me bitter pills, And I must minister the like to you.
When I was sick, you gave me bitter pills, And now I have to give you the same in return.
Then speak the truth by her; if not divine, Yet let her be a principality, Sovereign to all the creatures on the earth.
Then speak the truth about her; if she’s not divine, Let her at least be a ruler, The queen of all creatures on earth.
Except my mistress.
Except for my mistress.
Sweet, except not any; Except thou wilt except against my love.
Sweet, don’t exclude anyone; Unless you’re going to argue against my love.
Have I not reason to prefer mine own?
Don’t I have a reason to prefer my own?
And I will help thee to prefer her too: She shall be dignified with this high honour-- To bear my lady’s train, lest the base earth Should from her vesture chance to steal a kiss And, of so great a favour growing proud, Disdain to root the summer-swelling flower And make rough winter everlastingly.
And I’ll help you prefer her too: She will be honored in this way— To carry my lady’s train, so the ground Doesn’t steal a kiss from her dress And, becoming proud from such favor, Disdain to let the summer flower grow, And make winter last forever.
Why, Valentine, what braggardism is this?
Why, Valentine, what kind of boasting is this?
Pardon me, Proteus: all I can is nothing To her whose worth makes other worthies nothing; She is alone.
Forgive me, Proteus: all I can say is nothing Compared to her worth, which makes all other worth seem nothing; She is unique.
Then let her alone.
Then leave her alone.
Not for the world: why, man, she is mine own, And I as rich in having such a jewel As twenty seas, if all their sand were pearl, The water nectar and the rocks pure gold. Forgive me that I do not dream on thee, Because thou see’st me dote upon my love. My foolish rival, that her father likes Only for his possessions are so huge, Is gone with her along, and I must after, For love, thou know’st, is full of jealousy.
Not for the world: why, man, she is mine, And I am as rich in having such a jewel As if twenty seas were filled with pearls, The water turned to nectar and the rocks pure gold. Forgive me if I don’t think about you, Because you see me obsess over my love. My foolish rival, whom her father likes Only because he has so much wealth, Has gone with her, and I must follow, For love, you know, is full of jealousy.
But she loves you?
But does she love you?
Ay, and we are betroth’d: nay, more, our, marriage-hour, With all the cunning manner of our flight, Determined of; how I must climb her window, The ladder made of cords, and all the means Plotted and ’greed on for my happiness. Good Proteus, go with me to my chamber, In these affairs to aid me with thy counsel.
Yes, and we are betrothed; in fact, our wedding hour, And all the details of our escape, Are already planned; how I must climb through her window, The ladder made of ropes, and all the steps Arranged for my happiness. Good Proteus, come with me to my room, To help me with your advice in this matter.
Go on before; I shall inquire you forth: I must unto the road, to disembark Some necessaries that I needs must use, And then I’ll presently attend you.
Go ahead; I’ll catch up with you: I need to stop by the road first, To drop off some things I must take, And then I’ll come right after.
Will you make haste?
Will you hurry?
I will.
I will.
Even as one heat another heat expels, Or as one nail by strength drives out another, So the remembrance of my former love Is by a newer object quite forgotten. Is it mine, or Valentine’s praise, Her true perfection, or my false transgression, That makes me reasonless to reason thus? She is fair; and so is Julia that I love-- That I did love, for now my love is thaw’d; Which, like a waxen image, ’gainst a fire, Bears no impression of the thing it was. Methinks my zeal to Valentine is cold, And that I love him not as I was wont. O, but I love his lady too too much, And that’s the reason I love him so little. How shall I dote on her with more advice, That thus without advice begin to love her! ’Tis but her picture I have yet beheld, And that hath dazzled my reason’s light; But when I look on her perfections, There is no reason but I shall be blind. If I can cheque my erring love, I will; If not, to compass her I’ll use my skill.
Just as one heat pushes out another heat, Or as one nail forces out another, So the memory of my old love Is completely forgotten by a new one. Is it because of mine or Valentine’s praise, Her true perfection, or my own false wrongdoing, That makes me lose all sense and reason like this? She is beautiful; and so is Julia, the one I love-- The one I did love, because now my love is melting away; Which, like a wax statue, when exposed to a fire, Loses all trace of what it once was. It seems my passion for Valentine has cooled, And that I no longer love him the way I used to. Oh, but I love his lady way too much, And that’s why I love him so little. How can I be so infatuated with her without thinking it through, When I started loving her without any advice? It’s just her picture I’ve seen so far, And that has clouded my judgment; But when I look at her true beauty, There’s no reason why I should not be blinded by it. If I can stop my misguided love, I will; If not, I’ll use my skills to win her over.