Original
Modern English
Where the devil should this Romeo be? Came he not home tonight?
Where the devil is Romeo? Did he come home tonight?
Not to his father’s; I spoke with his man.
Not to his father’s house, I asked his servants.
Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline, torments him so that he will sure run mad.
That same pale hard-hearted wench, Rosaline, will torment him until he turns mad.
Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet, hath sent a letter to his father’s house.
Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet, has sent a letter to Romeo’s father’s house.
A challenge, on my life.
I bet on my life, it must be a challenge.
Romeo will answer it.
Romeo will answer the challenge.
Any man that can write may answer a letter.
Any man who knows how to write can write a letter.
Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares, being dared.
Nay, Romeo will answer to Tybalt, telling him that he accepts the challenge.
Alas poor Romeo, he is already dead,
Oh, poor Romeo! He is already dead.
stabbed with a white wench’s black eye;
He has been stabbed with a white lady’s black eye.
run through the ear with a love song,
He has been cut through the ear with a love song
the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy’s butt-shaft.
His heart has been split by the blind Cupid’s arrow.
And is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
Is he really man enough to respond to Tybalt’s challenge?
Why, what is Tybalt?
Why, What’s about Tybalt?
More than Prince of cats. O, he’s the courageous captain of compliments.
Tybalt is more than Prince of cats. He is courageous and does everything by the book.
He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and proportion.
He fights like you sing a song, keeping time, distance, and rhythm. He takes proper breaks: one, two and third in your heart.
He rests his minim rest, one, two, and the third in your bosom: the very butcher of a silk button, a duellist, a duellist; a gentleman of the very first house, of the first and second cause.
He is the butcher of a silk button, a master of duels; a gentleman from the school of fencing and swordfight.
Ah, the immortal passado, the punto reverso, the hay.
He knows the passado - the forward thrust, the punto reverse - the backhand thrust and the hai - the thrust that goes straight through.
The what?
The what?
The pox of such antic lisping, affecting phantasies; these new tuners of accent.
I hate these new pompous boys who use exotic foreign phrases.
By Jesu, a very good blade, a very tall man, a very good whore.
Jesus! This is a very good blade! A very brave man! A very good whore!
Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire,
>Isn’t this unfortunate?
that we should be thus afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these pardon-me’s, who stand so much on the new form that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench?
Why should we put up with these foreigners, these fashion-mongers, these guys who say ’pardon-me’, the ones who care so much about manners that they cannot kick back on a
O their bones, their bones!
Oh my aching bones, my bones!
Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!
Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!
Without his roe, like a dried herring.
Romeo looks skinny just like a dried herring without its eggs, and he does not have his girl with him.
O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified!
Oh flesh, flesh, you look so pale and weak like a fish.
Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in.
Now he is ready for Petrarch’s poetry.
Laura, to his lady, was but a kitchen wench,—marry, she had a better love to berhyme her: Dido a dowdy; Cleopatra a gypsy; Helen and Hero hildings and harlots; Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose.
Compared to Romeo’s girl, Laura was a kitchen girl. Clearly, Laura had a lover who was better at making poetry. Dido was drab and dull; Cleopatra was a gypsy girl; Helen and Hero were good-for-nothing harlots; Thisbe might have a gray eye or so, but all this does not matter.
Signior Romeo, bonjour! There’s a French salutation to your French slop.
Sir Romeo, bonjour! There’s a French greeting to match your French style pants.
You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.
You tricked us fairly well last night.
Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
Good morning to you both. What trickery are you talking about?
The slip sir, the slip; can you not conceive?
The slip sir, the slip; Do you understand what I am saying?
Pardon, good Mercutio,
Pardon, good Mercutio.
my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.
What I had to do was so important that I had to let go of my good manners and courtesy.
That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.
In other words, you mean to say that your important work made you flex your legs.
Meaning, to curtsy.
You mean, do a curtsy?
Thou hast most kindly hit it.
Now you have hit it.
A most courteous exposition.
A most courteous explanation.
Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
Indeed! I am the very "pink" of courtesy.
Pink for flower.
As in the pink flower.
Right.
Right.
Why, then is my pump well flowered.
Why, then my pump is well flowered.
Sure wit, follow me this jest now, till thou hast worn out thy pump,
Sure witty Romeo, you have taken the jokes so far that it has work out your pump.
that when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may remain after the wearing, solely singular.
Now that the pump is all worn out, the joke is all that remains.
O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness!
The joke has a single-sole, and is unique only because of its silliness.
Come between us, good Benvolio; my wits faint.
Please help us break this war of words, dear Benvolio. I am losing this duel of wits.
Swits and spurs, swits and spurs; or I’ll cry a match.
Keep going, keep going or I will declare myself as a winner.
Nay, if thy wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done.
No, if our jokes go on a wild-goose chase, I am done.
For thou hast more of the wild-goose in one of thy wits, than I am sure, I have in my whole five.
You have more wild goose in one of your jokes than I have in five.
Was I with you there for the goose?
Was I even anywhere close to you for the goose?
Thou wast never with me for anything, when thou wast not there for the goose.
You would not be with me for anything if not goose.
I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
I will bite you on the ear for that joke.
Nay, good goose, bite not.
Nah, good goose, don’t bite me.
Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting, it is a most sharp sauce.
Your wit is a very bitter sweeting, like a sharp sauce.
And is it not then well served in to a sweet goose?
Is it not the perfect sauce for a sweet goose?
O here’s a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell broad.
O that’s a joke made out of leather that stretches itself thin as much as inch to as fat as a yard.
I stretch it out for that word broad, which added to the goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
I stretch my joke for that word ’fat’. When added to the word goose, it shows that you are a fat goose.
Why, is not this better now than groaning for love?
Why is all this joking not better than groaning for love?
Now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; not art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature.
Now you are sociable, now you are Romeo, now you are what you are suppose to be - your real self.
For this drivelling love is like a great natural, that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.
This love of yours made you look like a fool who runs all over the place looking for a hole in which to hide his precious trinket.
Stop there, stop there.
Stop there, stop there.
Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
You are asking me to stop the tale before it’s finished.
Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
Else your tale would go forever.
O, thou art deceived; I would have made it short,
Oh, you are wrong; I would have made it short.
for I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant indeed to occupy the argument no longer.
I was about to come to the depth of my tale and wouldn’t have said anything further.
Here’s goodly gear! A sail, a sail!
Here is something good. A sail, a sail!
Two, two; a shirt and a smock.
There are two - a woman and a man.
Peter!
Peter!
Anon.
Coming!
My fan, Peter.
Give me my fan, Peter.
Good Peter, to hide her face; for her fan’s the fairer face.
Good Peter, give her her fan to hide her face. Her fan is prettier than her face.
God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
God sure. Goodmorning gentlemen.
God ye good-den, fair gentlewoman.
Good Afternoon, fair lady.
Is it good-den?
Is it now afternoon?
’Tis no less, I tell ye;
It’s not early, I can tell you that.
for the bawdy hand of the dial is now upon the prick of noon.
The lusty hand of the clock is now pricking noon. [Mercutio uses sexual language]
Out upon you! What a man are you?
Get out! What kind of a man are you?
One, gentlewoman, that God hath made for himself to mar.
A man, my lady, whom God has made for himself to ruin.
By my troth, it is well said; for himself to mar, quoth a?
I am sure, it is the truth. ’For himself to ruin’, he says.
Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the young Romeo?
Gentlemen, can any one of you tell me where I can find the young Romeo?
I can tell you: but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you sought him.
I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you have found him than he was when you started to look for him.
I am the youngest of that name, for fault of a worse.
I am the youngest man by that name, because there is no one younger, or worse.
You say well.
You speak well.
Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i’faith; wisely, wisely.
Yeah, is it the worst? Very well taken. I believe, very wise.
If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.
If you are the same Romeo sir, I would like to have confidence (a private conversation) with you.
She will endite him to some supper.
She will endite (invite) him to some supper.
A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!
A pimp, a pimp, a pimp! I have found it out!
What hast thou found?
What have you found out?
No hare, sir; unless a hare, sir, in a lenten pie, that is something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
No, she can’t be a prostitute unless she is so dry and grey-haired that she is only tasted when nothing else is available.
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An old hare hoar,
Old rabbit meat
And an old hare hoar,
And an old rabbit meat
Is very good meat in Lent;
Is very good meat if nothing else is available,
But a hare that is hoar
But a rabbit that is old
Is too much for a score
Is too much to pay
When it hoars ere it be spent.
When it gets mouldy before you can eat it
Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to dinner thither.
Romeo, will you come to your father’s place? We are going there for dinner.
I will follow you.
I will follow you.
Farewell, ancient lady; farewell, lady, lady, lady.
Farewell, old lady; farewell, lady, lady, lady.
I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this that was so full of his ropery?
Please tell me, sir, Who was that cheeky man who was so full of dirty jokes?
A gentleman, Nurse, that loves to hear himself talk,
Nurse, he is a gentleman who loves to hear himself talk.
and will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.
He will speak more in a minute than he will stand behind in a month.
And a speak anything against me, I’ll take him down, and a were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks.
If he speaks a word against me, I’ll teach him a lesson, even if he were stronger than he is, and twenty such jacks like him.
And if I cannot, I’ll find those that shall.
And if I cannot, I will find someone who can.
Scurvy knave! I am none of his flirt-gills; I am none of his skains-mates.
A worthless, dishonest man! I am not one of his flirty girls; I am not one of his low life friends.
—And thou must stand by too and suffer every knave to use me at his pleasure!
[TO PETER] — And you stand aside and allow these unscrupulous men to mock me for his pleasure!
I saw no man use you at his pleasure;
I did not see anyone use you for his pleasure.
if I had, my weapon should quickly have been out. I warrant you,
If I did, I would have immediately drawn out my weapon. I assure you,
I dare draw as soon as another man, if I see occasion in a good quarrel, and the law on my side.
I draw my sword as quickly as another man if I see an occasion for a good fight and the law is on my side.
Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part about me quivers. Scurvy knave.
Now, before God, I am so annoyed that every part of my body is shaking. That worthless dishonest man!
Pray you, sir, a word:
[TO ROMEO] Now sir, may I speak with you?
and as I told you, my young lady bid me enquire you out; what she bade me say, I will keep to myself.
And as I told you, my young lady sent me here to find out; what she told me to say, I will keep to myself.
But first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her in a fool’s paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behaviour, as they say;
But first let me tell you, if you lead her to a fool’s paradise, as they say, it were a very gross kind of behaviour, as they say.
for the gentlewoman is young. And therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
For the fair lady is young and therefore, if you deceive her, it would be an awful thing to do to any lady, and very poor manners.
Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I protest unto thee,—
Nurse, praise me to your lady and mistress. I pledge to you —
Good heart, and i’faith I will tell her as much.
You have a good heart, and I promise, I will tell her that much.
Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
Lord, Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
What wilt thou tell her, Nurse?
What will you tell her, Nurse?
Thou dost not mark me.
You do not understand me.
I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take it, is a gentlemanlike offer.
I will tell her, sir, that you protest (propose) to her, which, I think is a gentleman like offer.
Bid her devise Some means to come to shrift this afternoon,
Ask her to devise a way to come to confession this afternoon.
And there she shall at Friar Lawrence’cell Be shriv’d and married.
And there, at Friar Lawrence’s cell, we can confess and get married.
Here is for thy pains.
[HOLDING SOME MONEY TO THE NURSE] Here is some reward for your pains.
No truly, sir; not a penny.
No truly, sir. I do not need your money.
Go to; I say you shall.
Go on; I insist.
This afternoon, sir? Well, she shall be there.
[TAKING THE MONEY] This afternoon, sir? Well, she will be there.
And stay, good Nurse,
A moment, good Nurse.
behind the abbey wall. Within this hour my man shall be with thee, And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair,
After an hour, behind the abbey wall, one of my servants will be with you, and give you a rope ladder.
Which to the high topgallant of my joy Must be my convoy in the secret night.
And to my charm, that will be my convoy in the secret night to reach Juliet.
Farewell, be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains;
Farewell, be worthy of my trust, and I will repay you for your pains.
Farewell; commend me to thy mistress.
Farewell! Speak well of me to your mistress.
Now God in heaven bless thee. Hark you, sir.
May God in heaven bless you! Now listen, sir.
What say’st thou, my dear Nurse?
What do you have to say, my dear Nurse?
Is your man secret?
Can your man be trusted?
Did you ne’er hear say, Two may keep counsel, putting one away?
Did you ever hear people say, "Two men may keep a secret, but only if one is faraway"
warrant thee my man’s as true as steel.
I assure you that my man is as true as steel.
Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady.
Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady.
Lord, Lord! When’twas a little prating thing,—O, there is a nobleman in town, one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard;
Lord, Lord! When she was a little baby,— Oh, there is a nobleman in town, named Paris, who would gladly marry her.
but she, good soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him.
But she, good soul, would rather be with a toad, a very toad, instead of him.
I anger her sometimes, and tell her that Paris is the properer man,
I anger her sometimes by telling her that Paris is a more suitable man.
but I’ll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale as any clout in the versal world.
But I can assure you, when I say so, she looks as pale as a sheet in the entire world.
Doth not rosemary and Romeo begin both with a letter?
Don’t Rosemary and Romeo begin both with the same letter?
Ay, Nurse; what of that? Both with an R.
Yes, Nurse! What about that? Both begins with ’R’.
Ah, mocker! That’s the dog’s name.
Ah, mocker! That’s the dog’s name.
R is for the—no, I know it begins with some other letter,
R is for the—no, I know it begins with some other letter.
and she hath the prettiest sententious of it, of you and rosemary, that it would do you good to hear it.
She has the prettiest encouragement for you, of you and rosemary, that it would do you good to hear it.
Commend me to thy lady.
Praise me to your lady.
Ay, a thousand times. Peter!
Yes, a thousand times. Peter!
Anon.
Coming!
Before and apace.
[GIVING HER FAN TO PETER] Go before me and go quickly.