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Modern English
Well, I had rather than twice the worth of her she had ne’er come here.
Well, I’d rather she’d never come here, even if she were worth twice what she’s worth.
Fie, fie upon her! she’s able to freeze the god Priapus, and undo a whole generation. We must either get her ravished, or be rid of her. When she should do for clients her fitment, and do me the kindness of our profession, she has me her quirks, her reasons, her master reasons, her prayers, her knees; that she would make a puritan of the devil, if he should cheapen a kiss of her.
Ugh, ugh, what a terrible woman! She’s so cold she could freeze the god Priapus, and ruin a whole generation. We have to either get her raped, or get rid of her. When she should be satisfying customers, doing her job, and helping me in our business, she’s got all her excuses, her reasons, her big arguments, her prayers, her knees; she’d make a saint out of the devil, if he tried to kiss her.
’Faith, I must ravish her, or she’ll disfurnish us of all our cavaliers, and make our swearers priests.
Honestly, I’ll have to force her, or she’ll take away all our paying clients, and turn our swearers into priests.
Now, the pox upon her green-sickness for me!
Now, I hope she gets the disease for me!
’Faith, there’s no way to be rid on’t but by the way to the pox. Here comes the Lord Lysimachus disguised.
Honestly, the only way to get rid of her is by giving her the disease. Here comes Lord Lysimachus in disguise.
We should have both lord and lown, if the peevish baggage would but give way to customers.
We could have both a lord and a lowlife, if the stubborn girl would just let the customers in.
How now! How a dozen of virginities?
What’s happening? How about a dozen virgins?
Now, the gods to-bless your honour!
May the gods bless your honor!
I am glad to see your honour in good health.
I’m happy to see you’re in good health, sir.
You may so; ’tis the better for you that your resorters stand upon sound legs. How now! wholesome iniquity have you that a man may deal withal, and defy the surgeon?
You should be; it’s good for you that your visitors are standing on solid ground. So, what kind of unhealthy behavior do you have here that a man can deal with, and still avoid needing a doctor?
We have here one, sir, if she would--but there never came her like in Mytilene.
We have one here, sir, if she would—though there’s never been anyone like her in Mytilene.
If she’ld do the deed of darkness, thou wouldst say.
If she would do something immoral, you’d say so.
Your honour knows what ’tis to say well enough.
You know exactly what I mean, sir.
Well, call forth, call forth.
Alright, bring her out, bring her out.
For flesh and blood, sir, white and red, you shall see a rose; and she were a rose indeed, if she had but--
For flesh and blood, sir, white and red, you’ll see a rose; and she’d be a rose indeed, if she only had—
What, prithee?
What, pray tell?
O, sir, I can be modest.
Oh, sir, I can be discreet.
That dignifies the renown of a bawd, no less than it gives a good report to a number to be chaste.
That certainly enhances the reputation of a bawd, just like it gives a good name to a woman to be virtuous.
Here comes that which grows to the stalk; never plucked yet, I can assure you.
Here comes the one who’s still growing; she’s never been picked yet, I assure you.
Is she not a fair creature?
Isn’t she a beautiful woman?
’Faith, she would serve after a long voyage at sea. Well, there’s for you: leave us.
Honestly, she’d be useful after a long sea voyage. Well, that’s all I have to say: leave us now.
I beseech your honour, give me leave: a word, and I’ll have done presently.
I beg you, sir, let me speak: just a word, and I’ll be done right away.
I beseech you, do.
Please, go ahead.
[To MARINA] First, I would have you note, this is an honourable man.
[To MARINA] First, I want you to know, this is a respectable man.
I desire to find him so, that I may worthily note him.
I want to believe he is, so I can respect him properly.
Next, he’s the governor of this country, and a man whom I am bound to.
Also, he’s the governor of this country, and someone I owe a debt to.
If he govern the country, you are bound to him indeed; but how honourable he is in that, I know not.
If he governs the country, you are indeed in debt to him, but I don’t know how respectable he is in that role.
Pray you, without any more virginal fencing, will you use him kindly? He will line your apron with gold.
Please, without more modest hesitation, will you treat him well? He’ll reward you with gold.
What he will do graciously, I will thankfully receive.
Whatever he does kindly, I will gratefully accept.
Ha’ you done?
Are you finished?
My lord, she’s not paced yet: you must take some pains to work her to your manage. Come, we will leave his honour and her together. Go thy ways.
My lord, she’s not ready yet: you’ll have to work a bit to make her more agreeable. Come, let’s leave them alone. You go your way.
Now, pretty one, how long have you been at this trade?
So, lovely one, how long have you been in this line of work?
What trade, sir?
What kind of work, sir?
Why, I cannot name’t but I shall offend.
Well, I can’t say it without offending you.
I cannot be offended with my trade. Please you to name it.
I can’t be upset about my job. Please, go ahead and name it.
How long have you been of this profession?
How long have you been doing this kind of work?
E’er since I can remember.
As long as I can remember.
Did you go to ’t so young? Were you a gamester at five or at seven?
Did you start that young? Were you playing games at five or seven years old?
Earlier too, sir, if now I be one.
Even earlier, sir, if I am one now.
Why, the house you dwell in proclaims you to be a creature of sale.
Well, the house you live in makes it clear you’re a woman for sale.
Do you know this house to be a place of such resort, and will come into ’t? I hear say you are of honourable parts, and are the governor of this place.
Do you know this house is a place like that, and are you still willing to go inside? I hear you’re a man of honor, and the governor of this place.
Why, hath your principal made known unto you who I am?
Has your boss told you who I am?
Who is my principal?
Who’s my boss?
Why, your herb-woman; she that sets seeds and roots of shame and iniquity. O, you have heard something of my power, and so stand aloof for more serious wooing. But I protest to thee, pretty one, my authority shall not see thee, or else look friendly upon thee. Come, bring me to some private place: come, come.
Your old boss, the woman who sells herbs; she who spreads seeds and roots of shame and corruption. Oh, you’ve heard something about my power, and you’re keeping your distance for a more serious kind of courting. But I swear to you, pretty girl, my authority won’t touch you, or even look kindly on you. Come, take me to a private place: come, come.
If you were born to honour, show it now; If put upon you, make the judgment good That thought you worthy of it.
If you were born to honor, prove it now; If it’s been given to you, make it clear that they thought you worthy of it.
How’s this? how’s this? Some more; be sage.
What’s this? What’s this? Say more; be wise.
For me, That am a maid, though most ungentle fortune Have placed me in this sty, where, since I came, Diseases have been sold dearer than physic, O, that the gods Would set me free from this unhallow’d place, Though they did change me to the meanest bird That flies i’ the purer air!
As for me, A virgin, though most unfair fate Has placed me in this filthy place, where, since I came, diseases have been more expensive than medicine, Oh, if only the gods would free me from this unholy place, even if they had to turn me into the lowliest bird that flies in the clean air!
I did not think Thou couldst have spoke so well; ne’er dream’d thou couldst. Had I brought hither a corrupted mind, Thy speech had alter’d it. Hold, here’s gold for thee: Persever in that clear way thou goest, And the gods strengthen thee!
I didn’t think you could speak like that; I never imagined you could. If I had come here with a corrupt mind, your words would have changed it. Here, take this gold: Keep going on the clear path you’re on, and may the gods give you strength!
The good gods preserve you!
May the gods protect you!
For me, be you thoughten That I came with no ill intent; for to me The very doors and windows savour vilely. Fare thee well. Thou art a piece of virtue, and I doubt not but thy training hath been noble. Hold, here’s more gold for thee. A curse upon him, die he like a thief, That robs thee of thy goodness! If thou dost Hear from me, it shall be for thy good.
As for me, think of me as someone who came with no bad intentions; because to me the very doors and windows smell terribly. Farewell. You are a woman of virtue, and I have no doubt your upbringing has been noble. Here, take more gold. A curse on the man who robs you of your goodness! If you ever hear from me, it will be for your benefit.
I beseech your honour, one piece for me.
I beg you, give me one piece of her.
Avaunt, thou damned door-keeper! Your house, but for this virgin that doth prop it, Would sink and overwhelm you. Away!
Go away, you cursed doorman! Your house would collapse and bury you, if not for this virgin holding it up. Get out of here!
How’s this? We must take another course with you. If your peevish chastity, which is not worth a breakfast in the cheapest country under the cope, shall undo a whole household, let me be gelded like a spaniel. Come your ways.
What’s going on here? We’ll have to handle you differently. If your stubborn purity, which isn’t worth a meal in the poorest country, is going to destroy this whole household, then I’ll let myself be castrated like a dog. Come on, let’s go.
Whither would you have me?
Where do you want me to go?
I must have your maidenhead taken off, or the common hangman shall execute it. Come your ways. We’ll have no more gentlemen driven away. Come your ways, I say.
I must take your virginity, or else the public executioner will. Come on, I said. No more gentlemen running away. Come on!
How now! what’s the matter?
What’s happening now? What’s going on?
Worse and worse, mistress; she has here spoken holy words to the Lord Lysimachus.
It’s getting worse, mistress. She’s been talking about holy things to Lord Lysimachus.
O abominable!
Oh, that’s disgusting!
She makes our profession as it were to stink afore the face of the gods.
She’s making our profession look bad in front of the gods.
Marry, hang her up for ever!
Well, let’s just hang her forever then!
The nobleman would have dealt with her like a nobleman, and she sent him away as cold as a snowball; saying his prayers too.
The nobleman wanted to treat her like a noblewoman, but she turned him away coldly, like a snowball, even while praying.
Boult, take her away; use her at thy pleasure: crack the glass of her virginity, and make the rest malleable.
Boult, take her away; use her however you want: break the seal of her virginity, and make the rest easy to control.
An if she were a thornier piece of ground than she is, she shall be ploughed.
Even if she were a tougher piece of land than she is now, she’ll still be ploughed.
Hark, hark, you gods!
Listen, listen, you gods!
She conjures: away with her! Would she had never come within my doors! Marry, hang you! She’s born to undo us. Will you not go the way of women-kind? Marry, come up, my dish of chastity with rosemary and bays!
She’s casting a spell: get rid of her! I wish she had never come to my house! Damn you! She’s here to ruin us. Don’t you want to end up like all the other women? Damn you, here’s your serving of chastity, with rosemary and laurel!
Come, mistress; come your ways with me.
Come on, lady; follow me.
Whither wilt thou have me?
Where do you want me to go?
To take from you the jewel you hold so dear.
To take away the precious thing you’re holding so tightly.
Prithee, tell me one thing first.
Please, tell me one thing first.
Come now, your one thing.
Go ahead, your one thing.
What canst thou wish thine enemy to be?
What would you want your enemy to be?
Why, I could wish him to be my master, or rather, my mistress.
Well, I might wish him to be my boss, or even better, my boss’s wife.
Neither of these are so bad as thou art, Since they do better thee in their command. Thou hold’st a place, for which the pained’st fiend Of hell would not in reputation change: Thou art the damned doorkeeper to every Coistrel that comes inquiring for his Tib; To the choleric fisting of every rogue Thy ear is liable; thy food is such As hath been belch’d on by infected lungs.
Neither of those are as bad as you are, Since they would treat you better than you deserve. You’ve got a position that even the worst devil In hell wouldn’t want to take for its reputation: You’re the damned doorkeeper to every Scoundrel who comes asking for his woman; You’re the one who has to listen to every angry fist of every crook; Your food is whatever’s been thrown up by people with diseased lungs.
What would you have me do? go to the wars, would you? where a man may serve seven years for the loss of a leg, and have not money enough in the end to buy him a wooden one?
What do you want me to do? Go to war, would you? Where a man might lose a leg in seven years of service and not have enough money at the end to buy a replacement leg?
Do any thing but this thou doest. Empty OLD receptacles, or common shores, of filth; Serve by indenture to the common hangman: Any of these ways are yet better than this; For what thou professest, a baboon, could he speak, Would own a name too dear. O, that the gods Would safely deliver me from this place! Here, here’s gold for thee. If that thy master would gain by thee, Proclaim that I can sing, weave, sew, and dance, With other virtues, which I’ll keep from boast: And I will undertake all these to teach. I doubt not but this populous city will Yield many scholars.
Do anything but this! Empty Old trash cans, or work at the public gallows: Any of those things are still better than what you’re doing. For what you do, even a monkey, if it could speak, Would call it too expensive a job. Oh, that the gods Would deliver me safely from this place! Here, here’s some gold for you. If your master wants to profit from you, Announce that I can sing, weave, sew, and dance, Along with other skills, which I won’t brag about: And I will teach all of them. I’m sure this busy city will Produce many students.
But can you teach all this you speak of?
But can you actually teach all the things you say you can?
Prove that I cannot, take me home again, And prostitute me to the basest groom That doth frequent your house.
If I can’t prove it, take me home again, And sell me to the lowest man Who works at your house.
Well, I will see what I can do for thee: if I can place thee, I will.
Well, I’ll see what I can do for you: if I can place you, I will.
But amongst honest women.
But among decent women.
’Faith, my acquaintance lies little amongst them. But since my master and mistress have bought you, there’s no going but by their consent: therefore I will make them acquainted with your purpose, and I doubt not but I shall find them tractable enough. Come, I’ll do for thee what I can; come your ways.
Honestly, I don’t know many of them. But since my boss and his wife have bought you, you can’t go anywhere without their approval: so I will let them know what you want, and I ’m sure they’ll be easy enough to deal with. Come on, I’ll do what I can for you; follow me.