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Modern English
Are you good men and true?
Are you honest men?
Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation, body and soul.
Yes, or else it would be a shame if they didn’t deserve salvation, body and soul.
Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if they should have any allegiance in them, being chosen for the prince’s watch.
No, that would be too good a punishment for them, if they had any loyalty, being chosen for the prince’s watch.
Well, give them their charge, neighbour Dogberry.
Well, give them their instructions, neighbour Dogberry.
First, who think you the most desertless man to be constable?
First, who do you think is the most deserving man to be constable?
Hugh Otecake, sir, or George Seacole; for they can write and read.
Hugh Otecake, sir, or George Seacole; because they can read and write.
Come hither, neighbour Seacole. God hath blessed you with a good name: to be a well-favoured man is the gift of fortune; but to write and read comes by nature.
Come here, neighbour Seacole. God has blessed you with a good name: being a good-looking man is a gift from fortune; but being able to read and write is natural.
Both which, master constable,--
Both of which, master constable,--
You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your favour, sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it; and for your writing and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity. You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch; therefore bear you the lantern. This is your charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are to bid any man stand, in the prince’s name.
Yes, I knew you’d say that. Well, for your good looks, sir, thank God, and don’t boast about it; and as for your reading and writing, let that show when there’s no need for such vanity. You’re thought to be the most foolish and most suitable man for the constable of the watch; so you hold the lantern. This is your duty: you’ll arrest any suspicious men; you must order anyone to stop, in the prince’s name.
How if a’ will not stand?
What if he won’t stand?
Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and presently call the rest of the watch together and thank God you are rid of a knave.
Well, then don’t pay attention to him, just let him go; and quickly gather the rest of the watch and thank God you’re rid of a scoundrel.
If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the prince’s subjects.
If he won’t stand when told, then he’s not one of the prince’s people.
True, and they are to meddle with none but the prince’s subjects. You shall also make no noise in the streets; for, for the watch to babble and to talk is most tolerable and not to be endured.
True, and they’re only supposed to deal with the prince’s people. You should also keep quiet in the streets; because the watch talking too much is completely intolerable and should not be allowed.
We will rather sleep than talk: we know what belongs to a watch.
We’d rather sleep than talk: we know what a watch is supposed to do.
Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman; for I cannot see how sleeping should offend: only, have a care that your bills be not stolen. Well, you are to call at all the ale-houses, and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.
Well, you speak like a wise and peaceful watchman; I don’t see how sleeping would be a problem: just make sure your staffs aren’t stolen. Now, you’re to stop by all the taverns, and tell the drunks to go to bed.
How if they will not?
What if they won’t?
Why, then, let them alone till they are sober: if they make you not then the better answer, you may say they are not the men you took them for.
Well, then leave them alone until they’re sober: if they still don’t give you a good answer, you can say they’re not the people you thought they were.
Well, sir.
Alright, sir.
If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue of your office, to be no true man; and, for such kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them, why the more is for your honesty.
If you catch a thief, you can assume, by your job, that he’s not a good person; and, with those kinds of people, the less you get involved, the more honest you’ll be.
If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him?
If we know he’s a thief, shouldn’t we just grab him?
Truly, by your office, you may; but I think they that touch pitch will be defiled: the most peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is to let him show himself what he is and steal out of your company.
Honestly, by your job, you can; but I think that people who get involved with bad things will only get tainted: the safest way for you, if you do catch a thief, is to let him reveal what he is and sneak out of your group.
You have been always called a merciful man, partner.
You’ve always been called a kind-hearted man, partner.
Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him.
Honestly, I wouldn’t hang a dog if I didn’t have to, let alone a man who has any decency in him.
If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse and bid her still it.
If you hear a baby crying at night, you should call to the nurse and tell her to quiet it.
How if the nurse be asleep and will not hear us?
What if the nurse is asleep and can’t hear us?
Why, then, depart in peace, and let the child wake her with crying; for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes will never answer a calf when he bleats.
Well, then, go away peacefully, and let the child wake her by crying; because the ewe that won’t listen to her lamb when it bleats will never respond to a calf when he calls.
’Tis very true.
That’s very true.
This is the end of the charge:--you, constable, are to present the prince’s own person: if you meet the prince in the night, you may stay him.
This is the end of the instructions:--you, constable, are to present the prince himself: if you see the prince at night, you can stop him.
Nay, by’r our lady, that I think a’ cannot.
No, by our lady, I don’t think I can.
Five shillings to one on’t, with any man that knows the statutes, he may stay him: marry, not without the prince be willing; for, indeed, the watch ought to offend no man; and it is an offence to stay a man against his will.
Five shillings to one, any man who knows the law can stop him: but only if the prince is willing; because, really, the watch should not bother anyone; and it’s wrong to stop a man against his will.
By’r lady, I think it be so.
By our lady, I think you’re right.
Ha, ha, ha! Well, masters, good night: an there be any matter of weight chances, call up me: keep your fellows’ counsels and your own; and good night. Come, neighbour.
Ha, ha, ha! Well, gentlemen, good night: if anything serious happens, wake me up: keep your friends’ secrets and your own; and good night. Come on, neighbor.
Well, masters, we hear our charge: let us go sit here upon the church-bench till two, and then all to bed.
Well, gentlemen, we’ve heard our orders: let’s go sit here on the church bench until two, then we’ll all go to bed.
One word more, honest neighbours. I pray you watch about Signior Leonato’s door; for the wedding being there to-morrow, there is a great coil to-night. Adieu: be vigitant, I beseech you.
One more thing, honest neighbors. I ask you to keep watch around Signior Leonato’s door; because the wedding’s tomorrow, and there’s a big fuss tonight. Goodbye: stay alert, I beg you.
What Conrade!
What, Conrade!
[Aside] Peace! stir not.
[Aside] Quiet! don’t move.
Conrade, I say!
Conrade, I say!
Here, man; I am at thy elbow.
Here, man; I’m right here.
Mass, and my elbow itched; I thought there would a scab follow.
Damn, and my elbow itched; I thought a scab would follow.
I will owe thee an answer for that: and now forward with thy tale.
I’ll owe you an answer for that: now, go on with your story.
Stand thee close, then, under this pent-house, for it drizzles rain; and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to thee.
Stand close under this roof, it’s drizzling rain; and I’ll, like a true drunk, tell you everything.
[Aside] Some treason, masters: yet stand close.
[Aside] Some treason, gentlemen: but stay close.
Therefore know I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats.
So, you should know, I’ve earned a thousand ducats from Don John.
Is it possible that any villany should be so dear?
Is it possible that any crime could be worth so much?
Thou shouldst rather ask if it were possible any villany should be so rich; for when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will.
You should ask if any crime could be so profitable; because when rich criminals need poor ones, poor ones can ask whatever price they want.
I wonder at it.
I’m surprised by it.
That shows thou art unconfirmed. Thou knowest that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak, is nothing to a man.
That shows you’re inexperienced. You know that the style of a doublet, hat, or cloak means nothing to a man.
Yes, it is apparel.
Yes, but it’s still clothing.
I mean, the fashion.
I mean, it’s the style.
Yes, the fashion is the fashion.
Yes, the style is the style.
Tush! I may as well say the fool’s the fool. But seest thou not what a deformed thief this fashion is?
Oh, please! I might as well say a fool’s a fool. But don’t you see how ridiculous this style is? What a crooked thief it is?
[Aside] I know that Deformed; a’ has been a vile thief this seven year; a’ goes up and down like a gentleman: I remember his name.
[Aside] I know that crooked thief; he’s been a terrible thief for seven years; he walks around like a gentleman: I remember his name.
Didst thou not hear somebody?
Didn’t you hear something?
No; ’twas the vane on the house.
No, it was just the weather vane on the house.
Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is? how giddily a’ turns about all the hot bloods between fourteen and five-and-thirty? sometimes fashioning them like Pharaoh’s soldiers in the reeky painting, sometime like god Bel’s priests in the old church-window, sometime like the shaven Hercules in the smirched worm-eaten tapestry, where his codpiece seems as massy as his club?
Don’t you see, I’m telling you, how ridiculous this style is? How it makes all the young, fashionable men between fourteen and thirty-five spin around in circles? Sometimes making them look like soldiers from Pharaoh’s army in a bad painting, sometimes like the priests of god Bel in an old stained church window, sometimes like the clean-shaven Hercules in a worn, damaged tapestry, where his codpiece is as big as his club?
All this I see; and I see that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man. But art not thou thyself giddy with the fashion too, that thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion?
I see all this; and I see that style wears out more clothes than the person. But aren’t you dizzy with the fashion too, that you’ve changed the subject from your story to talk about fashion?
Not so, neither: but know that I have to-night wooed Margaret, the Lady Hero’s gentlewoman, by the name of Hero: she leans me out at her mistress’ chamber-window, bids me a thousand times good night,--I tell this tale vilely:--I should first tell thee how the prince, Claudio and my master, planted and placed and possessed by my master Don John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable encounter.
Not really: but know that tonight I wooed Margaret, the Lady Hero’s maid, by the name of Hero: she leaned out of her mistress’ room window, said good night to me a thousand times,-- I’m telling this poorly:--I should first tell you how the prince, Claudio, and my master, placed and controlled by my master Don John, saw from far off in the orchard this lovely scene.
And thought they Margaret was Hero?
And did they think Margaret was Hero?
Two of them did, the prince and Claudio; but the devil my master knew she was Margaret; and partly by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly by my villany, which did confirm any slander that Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged; swore he would meet her, as he was appointed, next morning at the temple, and there, before the whole congregation, shame her with what he saw o’er night and send her home again without a husband.
Two of them did, the prince and Claudio; but my master, the devil, knew she was Margaret; and partly because of his oaths, which first misled them, partly by the dark night, which fooled them, but mostly because of my trickery, which confirmed any lie that Don John had told, away went Claudio, furious; he swore he’d meet her, as arranged, the next morning at the church, and there, in front of the whole congregation, disgrace her with what he saw the night before and send her home without a husband.
We charge you, in the prince’s name, stand!
We command you, in the prince’s name, stop!
Call up the right master constable. We have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the commonwealth.
Call the proper constable. We have here caught the most dangerous piece of sexual misconduct that has ever been known in the town.
And one Deformed is one of them: I know him; a’ wears a lock.
And one Deformed is one of them: I know him; he wears a lock of hair.
Masters, masters,--
Gentlemen, gentlemen,--
You’ll be made bring Deformed forth, I warrant you.
You’ll be brought before the authorities, I guarantee you.
Masters,--
Gentlemen,--
Never speak: we charge you let us obey you to go with us.
Don’t speak: we order you to come with us and do as we say.
We are like to prove a goodly commodity, being taken up of these men’s bills.
We’re likely to be a valuable commodity, being caught on these men’s charges.
A commodity in question, I warrant you. Come, we’ll obey you.
A commodity under suspicion, I guarantee you. Come, we’ll follow you.