All's Well That Ends Well · Act 5, Scene 2

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Enter Clown, and PAROLLES, following
Enter Clown, and PAROLLES, following
Parolles

Good Monsieur Lavache, give my Lord Lafeu this letter: I have ere now, sir, been better known to you, when I have held familiarity with fresher clothes; but I am now, sir, muddied in fortune’s mood, and smell somewhat strong of her strong displeasure.

Parolles

Good Monsieur Lavache, give my Lord Lafeu this letter: I’ve been better known to you before, when I was wearing more fashionable clothes; but now, sir, I’m down on my luck, and I smell a bit strong of misfortune’s bad mood.

Clown

Truly, fortune’s displeasure is but sluttish, if it smell so strongly as thou speakest of: I will henceforth eat no fish of fortune’s buttering. Prithee, allow the wind.

Clown

Honestly, fortune’s bad mood isn’t that bad, if it smells as strongly as you say: I won’t eat fish if it’s been touched by fortune’s buttering. Please, allow the wind to pass.

Parolles

Nay, you need not to stop your nose, sir; I spake but by a metaphor.

Parolles

No need to stop your nose, sir; I only spoke in a metaphor.

Clown

Indeed, sir, if your metaphor stink, I will stop my nose; or against any man’s metaphor. Prithee, get thee further.

Clown

Well, if your metaphor stinks, I will stop my nose; or if any man’s metaphor does. Please, go away.

Parolles

Pray you, sir, deliver me this paper.

Parolles

Please, sir, deliver this letter to me.

Clown

Foh! prithee, stand away: a paper from fortune’s close-stool to give to a nobleman! Look, here he comes himself.

Clown

Ugh! please, step back: a letter from fortune’s toilet to give to a nobleman! Look, here he comes himself.

Enter LAFEU
Enter LAFEU
Clown

Here is a purr of fortune’s, sir, or of fortune’s cat,--but not a musk-cat,--that has fallen into the unclean fishpond of her displeasure, and, as he says, is muddied withal: pray you, sir, use the carp as you may; for he looks like a poor, decayed, ingenious, foolish, rascally knave. I do pity his distress in my similes of comfort and leave him to your lordship.

Clown

Here is a servant of fortune, sir, or fortune’s cat—but not a musk-cat—who has fallen into the dirty pond of her anger, and, as he says, is all muddy now: please, sir, use him as you wish; he looks like a poor, washed-up, clever, foolish, scoundrel. I feel sorry for his trouble in my comforting metaphors and leave him to your lordship.

Exit
Exit
Parolles

My lord, I am a man whom fortune hath cruelly scratched.

Parolles

My lord, I am a man whom fortune hath cruelly scratched.

Lafeu

And what would you have me to do? ’Tis too late to pare her nails now. Wherein have you played the knave with fortune, that she should scratch you, who of herself is a good lady and would not have knaves thrive long under her? There’s a quart d’ecu for you: let the justices make you and fortune friends: I am for other business.

Lafeu

And what would you have me to do? It’s too late to trim her nails now. What have you done to deserve this punishment from fortune, who is generally a good lady and doesn’t let bad people prosper for long? Here’s a coin for you: let the authorities make you and fortune friends: I have other things to do.

Parolles

I beseech your honour to hear me one single word.

Parolles

I beg you, my lord, just hear me out for one moment.

Lafeu

You beg a single penny more: come, you shall ha’t; save your word.

Lafeu

You’re asking for more than a word: fine, take it; save your speech.

Parolles

My name, my good lord, is Parolles.

Parolles

My name, my lord, is Parolles.

Lafeu

You beg more than ’word,’ then. Cox my passion! give me your hand. How does your drum?

Lafeu

You’re asking for more than just a word then. Damn it! Give me your hand. How’s your drum?

Parolles

O my good lord, you were the first that found me!

Parolles

Oh, my lord, you were the first to find me!

Lafeu

Was I, in sooth? and I was the first that lost thee.

Lafeu

Was I, really? And I was the first to lose you.

Parolles

It lies in you, my lord, to bring me in some grace, for you did bring me out.

Parolles

It’s in your power, my lord, to restore me to grace, since you were the one who got me into trouble.

Lafeu

Out upon thee, knave! dost thou put upon me at once both the office of God and the devil? One brings thee in grace and the other brings thee out.

Lafeu

Damn you, scoundrel! Are you trying to make me take on both the roles of God and the devil? One brings you into grace, and the other casts you out.

Trumpets sound
Trumpets sound
Lafeu

The king’s coming; I know by his trumpets. Sirrah, inquire further after me; I had talk of you last night: though you are a fool and a knave, you shall eat; go to, follow.

Lafeu

The king’s coming; I can tell by his trumpets. Hey, go ask more about me; I was talking about you last night: even though you’re a fool and a rogue, you’ll get something to eat; go on, follow me.

Parolles

I praise God for you.

Parolles

I thank God for you.

Exuent
Exeunt

End of Act 5, Scene 2

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