Troilus and Cressida · Act 3, Scene 1

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Enter a Servant and PANDARUS
Enter a Servant and PANDARUS
Pandarus

Friend, you! pray you, a word: do not you follow the young Lord Paris?

Pandarus

Hey, you there! Please, I need a word: don’t you follow the young Lord Paris?

Servant

Ay, sir, when he goes before me.

Servant

Yes, sir, when he walks ahead of me.

Pandarus

You depend upon him, I mean?

Pandarus

You rely on him, I mean?

Servant

Sir, I do depend upon the lord.

Servant

Yes, sir, I do rely on the lord.

Pandarus

You depend upon a noble gentleman; I must needs praise him.

Pandarus

You rely on a noble man; I must say he’s to be praised.

Servant

The lord be praised!

Servant

Praise the lord!

Pandarus

You know me, do you not?

Pandarus

You know me, don’t you?

Servant

Faith, sir, superficially.

Servant

Honestly, sir, just a little.

Pandarus

Friend, know me better; I am the Lord Pandarus.

Pandarus

Well, get to know me better; I am Lord Pandarus.

Servant

I hope I shall know your honour better.

Servant

I hope I’ll get to know your honor better.

Pandarus

I do desire it.

Pandarus

I certainly hope so.

Servant

You are in the state of grace.

Servant

You’re in a position of grace.

Pandarus

Grace! not so, friend: honour and lordship are my titles.

Pandarus

Grace? Not exactly, my friend: honor and nobility are my titles.

Music within
Music within
Pandarus

What music is this?

Pandarus

What is this music?

Servant

I do but partly know, sir: it is music in parts.

Servant

I only partly know, sir: it’s music with different parts.

Pandarus

Know you the musicians?

Pandarus

Do you know who the musicians are?

Servant

Wholly, sir.

Servant

Yes, sir, completely.

Pandarus

Who play they to?

Pandarus

Who are they playing for?

Servant

To the hearers, sir.

Servant

They’re playing for the listeners, sir.

Pandarus

At whose pleasure, friend

Pandarus

Who is deciding, my friend?

Servant

At mine, sir, and theirs that love music.

Servant

It’s for me, sir, and for those who love music.

Pandarus

Command, I mean, friend.

Pandarus

I mean who is in charge, friend.

Servant

Who shall I command, sir?

Servant

Who should I say is in charge, sir?

Pandarus

Friend, we understand not one another: I am too courtly and thou art too cunning. At whose request do these men play?

Pandarus

Friend, we don’t understand each other: I’m being too formal, and you’re being too tricky. Who asked these men to play?

Servant

That’s to ’t indeed, sir: marry, sir, at the request of Paris my lord, who’s there in person; with him, the mortal Venus, the heart-blood of beauty, love’s invisible soul,--

Servant

That’s the point, sir: actually, it was Paris, my lord, who is here in person; and with him, the beautiful Helen, the heart of love’s beauty, love’s invisible soul—

Pandarus

Who, my cousin Cressida?

Pandarus

Who, my cousin Cressida?

Servant

No, sir, Helen: could you not find out that by her attributes?

Servant

No, sir, Helen: didn’t you figure that out from her qualities?

Pandarus

It should seem, fellow, that thou hast not seen the Lady Cressida. I come to speak with Paris from the Prince Troilus: I will make a complimental assault upon him, for my business seethes.

Pandarus

It seems, my friend, you haven’t seen Lady Cressida. I’ve come to speak with Paris on behalf of Prince Troilus: I’ll make a polite attempt to engage him, since my business is urgent.

Servant

Sodden business! there’s a stewed phrase indeed!

Servant

This is a ridiculous situation! that’s a ridiculous way to put it!

Enter PARIS and HELEN, attended
Enter PARIS and HELEN, attended
Pandarus

Fair be to you, my lord, and to all this fair company! fair desires, in all fair measure, fairly guide them! especially to you, fair queen! fair thoughts be your fair pillow!

Pandarus

Good day to you, my lord, and to all this lovely company! May all good things, in perfect measure, guide them! especially to you, beautiful queen! May good thoughts be your soft pillow!

Helen

Dear lord, you are full of fair words.

Helen

My lord, you’re full of sweet talk.

Pandarus

You speak your fair pleasure, sweet queen. Fair prince, here is good broken music.

Pandarus

You speak what pleases you, dear queen. Handsome prince, here’s some good, broken music.

Paris

You have broke it, cousin: and, by my life, you shall make it whole again; you shall piece it out with a piece of your performance. Nell, he is full of harmony.

Paris

You’ve broken it, cousin: and, I swear, you will fix it again; you’ll finish it with some of your own action. Nell, he’s full of rhythm.

Pandarus

Truly, lady, no.

Pandarus

Honestly, lady, no.

Helen

O, sir,--

Helen

Oh, sir,--

Pandarus

Rude, in sooth; in good sooth, very rude.

Pandarus

You’re being rude, really; really, you’re being rude.

Paris

Well said, my lord! well, you say so in fits.

Paris

Well said, my lord! you’re making good points, but you say them in short bursts.

Pandarus

I have business to my lord, dear queen. My lord, will you vouchsafe me a word?

Pandarus

I have something to discuss with you, my lord, dear queen. My lord, will you kindly give me a moment?

Helen

Nay, this shall not hedge us out: we’ll hear you sing, certainly.

Helen

No, we won’t let you interrupt us: we’ll listen to you sing, certainly.

Pandarus

Well, sweet queen. you are pleasant with me. But, marry, thus, my lord: my dear lord and most esteemed friend, your brother Troilus,--

Pandarus

Well, sweet queen. You’re in a playful mood with me. But, honestly, my lord: my dear lord and most respected friend, your brother Troilus,--

Helen

My Lord Pandarus; honey-sweet lord,--

Helen

My Lord Pandarus; honey-sweet lord,--

Pandarus

Go to, sweet queen, to go:--commends himself most affectionately to you,--

Pandarus

Go ahead, sweet queen, go on:--he sends his warm regards to you,--

Helen

You shall not bob us out of our melody: if you do, our melancholy upon your head!

Helen

You won’t get us to stop our song: if you do, all your sadness will be your fault!

Pandarus

Sweet queen, sweet queen! that’s a sweet queen, i’ faith.

Pandarus

Sweet queen, sweet queen! that’s a sweet queen, truly.

Helen

And to make a sweet lady sad is a sour offence.

Helen

And making a sweet lady sad is a serious wrong.

Pandarus

Nay, that shall not serve your turn; that shall not, in truth, la. Nay, I care not for such words; no, no. And, my lord, he desires you, that if the king call for him at supper, you will make his excuse.

Pandarus

No, that won’t work for you; that won’t do, honestly, no. I don’t care about words like that; no, no. And, my lord, he asks you, that if the king calls for him at dinner, you’ll make an excuse for him.

Helen

My Lord Pandarus,--

Helen

My Lord Pandarus,--

Pandarus

What says my sweet queen, my very very sweet queen?

Pandarus

What’s my sweet queen saying, my very very sweet queen?

Paris

What exploit’s in hand? where sups he to-night?

Paris

What’s happening? Where is he having dinner tonight?

Helen

Nay, but, my lord,--

Helen

No, but, my lord,--

Pandarus

What says my sweet queen? My cousin will fall out with you. You must not know where he sups.

Pandarus

What’s my sweet queen saying? My cousin will be upset with you. You shouldn’t know where he’s having dinner.

Paris

I’ll lay my life, with my disposer Cressida.

Paris

I bet he’s with my go-between Cressida.

Pandarus

No, no, no such matter; you are wide: come, your disposer is sick.

Pandarus

No, no, that’s not it; you’re way off: come on, your go-between is sick.

Paris

Well, I’ll make excuse.

Paris

Alright, I’ll make an excuse then.

Pandarus

Ay, good my lord. Why should you say Cressida? no, your poor disposer’s sick.

Pandarus

Yes, good my lord. But why mention Cressida? No, your poor go-between is sick.

Paris

I spy.

Paris

I see.

Pandarus

You spy! what do you spy? Come, give me an instrument. Now, sweet queen.

Pandarus

You see! What do you see? Come on, give me a tool. Now, sweet queen.

Helen

Why, this is kindly done.

Helen

Well, this is kind of you.

Pandarus

My niece is horribly in love with a thing you have, sweet queen.

Pandarus

My niece is terribly in love with something you have, sweet queen.

Helen

She shall have it, my lord, if it be not my lord Paris.

Helen

She’ll take it, my lord, unless it’s my lord Paris.

Pandarus

He! no, she’ll none of him; they two are twain.

Pandarus

Ha! No, she doesn’t want him; they are two separate people.

Helen

Falling in, after falling out, may make them three.

Helen

Falling in love again, after falling out, might make them a couple again.

Pandarus

Come, come, I’ll hear no more of this; I’ll sing you a song now.

Pandarus

Come on, come on, I don’t want to hear any more about this; let me sing you a song now.

Helen

Ay, ay, prithee now. By my troth, sweet lord, thou hast a fine forehead.

Helen

Yes, yes, please do. Honestly, sweet lord, you’ve got such a nice forehead.

Pandarus

Ay, you may, you may.

Pandarus

Yes, you can say that, you can.

Helen

Let thy song be love: this love will undo us all. O Cupid, Cupid, Cupid!

Helen

Let your song be about love: this love will ruin us all. Oh Cupid, Cupid, Cupid!

Pandarus

Love! ay, that it shall, i’ faith.

Pandarus

Love! Yes, that’s what it’ll do, I swear.

Paris

Ay, good now, love, love, nothing but love.

Paris

Yes, alright now, love, love, nothing but love.

Pandarus

In good troth, it begins so.

Pandarus

Honestly, that’s how it starts.

Sings
Sings
Pandarus

Love, love, nothing but love, still more! For, O, love’s bow Shoots buck and doe: The shaft confounds, Not that it wounds, But tickles still the sore. These lovers cry Oh! oh! they die! Yet that which seems the wound to kill, Doth turn oh! oh! to ha! ha! he! So dying love lives still: Oh! oh! a while, but ha! ha! ha! Oh! oh! groans out for ha! ha! ha! Heigh-ho!

Pandarus

Love, love, nothing but love, always more! For, oh, love’s bow Shoots both buck and doe: The arrow confuses, Not because it hurts, But because it keeps teasing the wound. These lovers cry Oh! oh! they die! Yet what seems to be the wound that kills, Turns into Oh! oh! a laugh! Ha! ha! he! So dying love keeps living: Oh! oh! for a while, but ha! ha! ha! Oh! oh! groans turn into ha! ha! ha! Heigh-ho!

Helen

In love, i’ faith, to the very tip of the nose.

Helen

In love, truly, all the way to the tip of the nose.

Paris

He eats nothing but doves, love, and that breeds hot blood, and hot blood begets hot thoughts, and hot thoughts beget hot deeds, and hot deeds is love.

Paris

He eats nothing but doves, love, and that creates hot blood, and hot blood leads to hot thoughts, and hot thoughts lead to hot actions, and hot actions are love.

Pandarus

Is this the generation of love? hot blood, hot thoughts, and hot deeds? Why, they are vipers: is love a generation of vipers? Sweet lord, who’s a-field to-day?

Pandarus

Is this the way love works? Hot blood, hot thoughts, and hot actions? Why, they’re like vipers: is love a nest of vipers? Sweet lord, who’s out on the field today?

Paris

Hector, Deiphobus, Helenus, Antenor, and all the gallantry of Troy: I would fain have armed to-day, but my Nell would not have it so. How chance my brother Troilus went not?

Paris

Hector, Deiphobus, Helenus, Antenor, and all the heroes of Troy: I would’ve gotten ready today, but my Nell wouldn’t let me. Why didn’t my brother Troilus go?

Helen

He hangs the lip at something: you know all, Lord Pandarus.

Helen

He’s pouting about something: you know everything, Lord Pandarus.

Pandarus

Not I, honey-sweet queen. I long to hear how they sped to-day. You’ll remember your brother’s excuse?

Pandarus

Not me, sweet queen. I’m dying to hear how they did today. You remember your brother’s excuse?

Paris

To a hair.

Paris

Exactly.

Pandarus

Farewell, sweet queen.

Pandarus

Goodbye, sweet queen.

Helen

Commend me to your niece.

Helen

Say hi to your niece for me.

Pandarus

I will, sweet queen.

Pandarus

I will, sweet queen.

Exit
Exit
A retreat sounded
A retreat sounded
Paris

They’re come from field: let us to Priam’s hall, To greet the warriors. Sweet Helen, I must woo you To help unarm our Hector: his stubborn buckles, With these your white enchanting fingers touch’d, Shall more obey than to the edge of steel Or force of Greekish sinews; you shall do more Than all the island kings,--disarm great Hector.

Paris

They’ve come back from the field: let’s go to Priam’s hall, To greet the warriors. Sweet Helen, I need you To help unarm our Hector: your delicate fingers, Touching those stubborn buckles, will work better than The sharpness of steel or the strength of Greek muscles; you’ll do more Than all the island kings—disarm great Hector.

Helen

’Twill make us proud to be his servant, Paris; Yea, what he shall receive of us in duty Gives us more palm in beauty than we have, Yea, overshines ourself.

Helen

It’ll make us proud to serve him, Paris; Yes, what he gets from us in service Will make us more beautiful than we already are, Yes, it will outshine even us.

Paris

Sweet, above thought I love thee.

Paris

Sweet, I love you more than words can say.

Exuent
Exeunt

End of Act 3, Scene 1

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