The Tempest · Act 3, Scene 2

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Enter CALIBAN, STEPHANO, and TRINCULO
Enter CALIBAN, STEPHANO, and TRINCULO
Stephano

Tell not me; when the butt is out, we will drink water; not a drop before: therefore bear up, and board ’em. Servant-monster, drink to me.

Stephano

Don’t tell me; when the barrel’s empty, we’ll drink water; not a drop before that: so get ready, and board them. Servant-monster, drink to me.

Trinculo

Servant-monster! the folly of this island! They say there’s but five upon this isle: we are three of them; if th’ other two be brained like us, the state totters.

Trinculo

Servant-monster! The foolishness of this island! They say there are only five people on this island: we’re three of them; if the other two are as thick-headed as we are, the whole state will collapse.

Stephano

Drink, servant-monster, when I bid thee: thy eyes are almost set in thy head.

Stephano

Drink, servant-monster, when I tell you: your eyes are almost rolling back in your head.

Trinculo

Where should they be set else? he were a brave monster indeed, if they were set in his tail.

Trinculo

Where else should they be? He’d be a brave monster indeed, if his eyes were in his tail.

Stephano

My man-monster hath drown’d his tongue in sack: for my part, the sea cannot drown me; I swam, ere I could recover the shore, five and thirty leagues off and on. By this light, thou shalt be my lieutenant, monster, or my standard.

Stephano

My man-monster has drowned his tongue in wine: as for me, the sea can’t drown me; I swam, before I could reach the shore, thirty-five leagues back and forth. By this light, you’ll be my second-in-command, monster, or my flagbearer.

Trinculo

Your lieutenant, if you list; he’s no standard.

Trinculo

Your second-in-command, if you like; he’s no flagbearer.

Stephano

We’ll not run, Monsieur Monster.

Stephano

We won’t run, Mister Monster.

Trinculo

Nor go neither; but you’ll lie like dogs and yet say nothing neither.

Trinculo

Nor will we move; but you’ll lie there like dogs and still say nothing at all.

Stephano

Moon-calf, speak once in thy life, if thou beest a good moon-calf.

Stephano

Moon-calf, speak once in your life, if you really are a good moon-calf.

Caliban

How does thy honour? Let me lick thy shoe. I’ll not serve him; he’s not valiant.

Caliban

How’s your honor? Let me lick your shoe. I won’t serve him; he’s not brave.

Trinculo

Thou liest, most ignorant monster: I am in case to justle a constable. Why, thou deboshed fish thou, was there ever man a coward that hath drunk so much sack as I to-day? Wilt thou tell a monstrous lie, being but half a fish and half a monster?

Trinculo

You’re lying, most ignorant monster: I’m in a position to challenge a constable. Why, you corrupted fish, have you ever seen a coward who’s drunk as much wine as I have today? Are you going to tell a monstrous lie, being only half a fish and half a monster?

Caliban

Lo, how he mocks me! wilt thou let him, my lord?

Caliban

Look how he mocks me! Will you let him, my lord?

Trinculo

’Lord’ quoth he! That a monster should be such a natural!

Trinculo

’My lord,’ he says! That a monster should be such a fool!

Caliban

Lo, lo, again! bite him to death, I prithee.

Caliban

Look, look, again! Bite him to death, please.

Stephano

Trinculo, keep a good tongue in your head: if you prove a mutineer,--the next tree! The poor monster’s my subject and he shall not suffer indignity.

Stephano

Trinculo, keep your mouth shut: if you start a rebellion,--the next tree! The poor monster’s my subject and he won’t be treated badly.

Caliban

I thank my noble lord. Wilt thou be pleased to hearken once again to the suit I made to thee?

Caliban

I thank you, my noble lord. Will you please listen again to the request I made to you?

Stephano

Marry, will I kneel and repeat it; I will stand, and so shall Trinculo.

Stephano

Sure, I’ll kneel and repeat it; I’ll stand, and so will Trinculo.

Enter ARIEL, invisible
Enter ARIEL, invisible
Caliban

As I told thee before, I am subject to a tyrant, a sorcerer, that by his cunning hath cheated me of the island.

Caliban

As I told you before, I am controlled by a tyrant, a sorcerer, who used his tricks to steal the island from me.

Ariel

Thou liest.

Ariel

You’re lying.

Caliban

Thou liest, thou jesting monkey, thou: I would my valiant master would destroy thee! I do not lie.

Caliban

You’re lying, you joking monkey, you: I wish my brave master would destroy you! I’m not lying.

Stephano

Trinculo, if you trouble him any more in’s tale, by this hand, I will supplant some of your teeth.

Stephano

Trinculo, if you mess with him any more in his story, I swear, I’ll knock out some of your teeth.

Trinculo

Why, I said nothing.

Trinculo

But I didn’t say anything.

Stephano

Mum, then, and no more. Proceed.

Stephano

Quiet, then, and no more. Go on.

Caliban

I say, by sorcery he got this isle; From me he got it. if thy greatness will Revenge it on him,--for I know thou darest, But this thing dare not,--

Caliban

I say, it was by sorcery that he took this island; He took it from me. If your greatness will get revenge on him,--because I know you dare, But this thing won’t dare,--

Stephano

That’s most certain.

Stephano

That’s absolutely true.

Caliban

Thou shalt be lord of it and I’ll serve thee.

Caliban

You’ll be the lord of it and I’ll serve you.

Stephano

How now shall this be compassed? Canst thou bring me to the party?

Stephano

So how will this be done? Can you bring me to him?

Caliban

Yea, yea, my lord: I’ll yield him thee asleep, Where thou mayst knock a nail into his bead.

Caliban

Yes, yes, my lord: I’ll give him to you while he’s asleep, Where you can drive a nail into his skull.

Ariel

Thou liest; thou canst not.

Ariel

You’re lying; you can’t do that.

Caliban

What a pied ninny’s this! Thou scurvy patch! I do beseech thy greatness, give him blows And take his bottle from him: when that’s gone He shall drink nought but brine; for I’ll not show him Where the quick freshes are.

Caliban

What a stupid fool is this! You filthy coward! I beg you, your greatness, beat him up And take his bottle away from him: when that’s gone He’ll drink nothing but salty water; because I won’t show him Where the fresh water streams are.

Stephano

Trinculo, run into no further danger: interrupt the monster one word further, and, by this hand, I’ll turn my mercy out o’ doors and make a stock-fish of thee.

Stephano

Trinculo, don’t get yourself into more trouble: If you speak one more word to the monster, I swear, I’ll throw my mercy out the door and turn you into a dried fish.

Trinculo

Why, what did I? I did nothing. I’ll go farther off.

Trinculo

What did I do? I didn’t do anything. I’ll move farther away.

Stephano

Didst thou not say he lied?

Stephano

Didn’t you say he was lying?

Ariel

Thou liest.

Ariel

You’re the one lying.

Stephano

Do I so? take thou that.

Stephano

Am I? Take that.

Beats TRINCULO
Beats TRINCULO
Stephano

As you like this, give me the lie another time.

Stephano

If you like that, call me a liar again.

Trinculo

I did not give the lie. Out o’ your wits and bearing too? A pox o’ your bottle! this can sack and drinking do. A murrain on your monster, and the devil take your fingers!

Trinculo

I didn’t call you a liar. Are you out of your mind? And drunk too? Damn your bottle! This is what wine and drinking do to you. A curse on your monster, and may the devil take your fingers!

Caliban

Ha, ha, ha!

Caliban

Ha, ha, ha!

Stephano

Now, forward with your tale. Prithee, stand farther off.

Stephano

Now, go on with your story. Please, step back a little.

Caliban

Beat him enough: after a little time I’ll beat him too.

Caliban

Beat him some more: in a little while I’ll beat him too.

Stephano

Stand farther. Come, proceed.

Stephano

Step back. Come on, keep going.

Caliban

Why, as I told thee, ’tis a custom with him, I’ th’ afternoon to sleep: there thou mayst brain him, Having first seized his books, or with a log Batter his skull, or paunch him with a stake, Or cut his wezand with thy knife. Remember First to possess his books; for without them He’s but a sot, as I am, nor hath not One spirit to command: they all do hate him As rootedly as I. Burn but his books. He has brave utensils,--for so he calls them-- Which when he has a house, he’ll deck withal And that most deeply to consider is The beauty of his daughter; he himself Calls her a nonpareil: I never saw a woman, But only Sycorax my dam and she; But she as far surpasseth Sycorax As great’st does least.

Caliban

Well, as I told you, it’s his habit, in the afternoon, to sleep: that’s when you can knock him out, After you’ve taken his books, or with a log Hit him in the head, or stab him with a stake, Or slit his throat with your knife. Just remember To grab his books first; without them, He’s just a fool, like me, and doesn’t have A single spirit to control him: everyone hates him As much as I do. Burn his books, and that’s it. He has amazing tools—at least that’s what he calls them— Which when he gets a house, he’ll decorate with them And the thing he cares most about is The beauty of his daughter; he calls her The best in the world: I’ve never seen any woman, Except Sycorax, my mother, and her; But she’s far more beautiful than Sycorax Just like the greatest thing is the least.

Stephano

Is it so brave a lass?

Stephano

Is she really such a fine girl?

Caliban

Ay, lord; she will become thy bed, I warrant. And bring thee forth brave brood.

Caliban

Yes, master; she will be your wife, I promise. And she’ll give you strong children.

Stephano

Monster, I will kill this man: his daughter and I will be king and queen--save our graces!--and Trinculo and thyself shall be viceroys. Dost thou like the plot, Trinculo?

Stephano

Monster, I will kill this man: his daughter and I will be king and queen--unless we mess it up!--and Trinculo and you will be governors. Do you like the plan, Trinculo?

Trinculo

Excellent.

Trinculo

Great idea.

Stephano

Give me thy hand: I am sorry I beat thee; but, while thou livest, keep a good tongue in thy head.

Stephano

Give me your hand: I’m sorry I hit you; but, as long as you’re alive, keep your mouth in check.

Caliban

Within this half hour will he be asleep: Wilt thou destroy him then?

Caliban

He’ll be asleep in half an hour: Will you kill him then?

Stephano

Ay, on mine honour.

Stephano

Yes, I swear.

Ariel

This will I tell my master.

Ariel

I’ll tell my master about this.

Caliban

Thou makest me merry; I am full of pleasure: Let us be jocund: will you troll the catch You taught me but while-ere?

Caliban

You’re making me happy; I’m really enjoying this: Let’s have some fun: will you sing the song you taught me just a little while ago?

Stephano

At thy request, monster, I will do reason, any reason. Come on, Trinculo, let us sing.

Stephano

At your request, monster, I’ll sing anything, anything you want. Come on, Trinculo, let’s sing.

Sings
Sings
Stephano

Flout ’em and scout ’em And scout ’em and flout ’em Thought is free.

Stephano

Mock them and insult them And insult them and mock them Thought is free.

Caliban

That’s not the tune.

Caliban

That’s not the right tune.

Ariel plays the tune on a tabour and pipe
Ariel plays the tune on a tabour and pipe
Stephano

What is this same?

Stephano

What’s this sound?

Trinculo

This is the tune of our catch, played by the picture of Nobody.

Trinculo

This is the tune for our song, played by the image of Nobody.

Stephano

If thou beest a man, show thyself in thy likeness: if thou beest a devil, take’t as thou list.

Stephano

If you’re a man, show yourself as you are: if you’re a devil, do whatever you want.

Trinculo

O, forgive me my sins!

Trinculo

Oh, forgive me for my wrongs!

Stephano

He that dies pays all debts: I defy thee. Mercy upon us!

Stephano

Whoever dies settles all their debts: I challenge you. Have mercy on us!

Caliban

Art thou afeard?

Caliban

Are you afraid?

Stephano

No, monster, not I.

Stephano

No, monster, not me.

Caliban

Be not afeard; the isle is full of noises, Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not. Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices That, if I then had waked after long sleep, Will make me sleep again: and then, in dreaming, The clouds methought would open and show riches Ready to drop upon me that, when I waked, I cried to dream again.

Caliban

Don’t be afraid; the island is full of sounds, Music and sweet air that bring pleasure and don’t harm. Sometimes a thousand string instruments Will buzz around my ears, and sometimes voices That, if I had just woken from a long sleep, Would make me fall back asleep: and then, in my dreams, The clouds seemed to open up and show treasures Ready to fall on me, and when I woke, I cried because I wanted to keep dreaming.

Stephano

This will prove a brave kingdom to me, where I shall have my music for nothing.

Stephano

This will be a wonderful kingdom for me, where I can have my music for free.

Caliban

When Prospero is destroyed.

Caliban

When Prospero is gone.

Stephano

That shall be by and by: I remember the story.

Stephano

That will happen soon: I remember the story.

Trinculo

The sound is going away; let’s follow it, and after do our work.

Trinculo

The sound is fading away; let’s follow it, and then do our job.

Stephano

Lead, monster; we’ll follow. I would I could see this tabourer; he lays it on.

Stephano

Lead, monster; we’ll follow. I wish I could see this drummer; he’s really going at it.

Trinculo

Wilt come? I’ll follow, Stephano.

Trinculo

Will you come? I’ll follow, Stephano.

Exuent
Exuent

End of Act 3, Scene 2

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