Original
Modern English
Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star- chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.
Sir Hugh, don’t try to convince me; I’ll make this a serious legal matter: even if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he will not insult Robert Shallow, Esq.
In the county of Gloucester, justice of peace and ’Coram.’
In the county of Gloucester, justice of the peace and ’Coram.’
Ay, cousin Slender, and ’Custalourum.
Yes, cousin Slender, and ’Custalourum.’
Ay, and ’Rato-lorum’ too; and a gentleman born, master parson; who writes himself ’Armigero,’ in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, ’Armigero.’
Yes, and ’Rato-lorum’ too; and a gentleman by birth, master parson; who calls himself ’Armigero’ in any document, warrant, receipt, or promise, ’Armigero.’
Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred years.
Yes, that’s true; I’ve been doing that for the last three hundred years.
All his successors gone before him hath done’t; and all his ancestors that come after him may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat.
All the people who came before him have done it; and all his descendants can do it too: they can put the twelve white luces on their coat.
It is an old coat.
It’s an old coat.
The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love.
The twelve white louses suit an old coat very well; it fits nicely, passant; it’s a familiar creature to man, and it stands for love.
The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.
The luce is the fresh fish; the salted fish is an old coat.
I may quarter, coz.
I can quarter it, cousin.
You may, by marrying.
You can, by getting married.
It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
It’s a mistake indeed, if he divides it.
Not a whit.
Not at all.
Yes, py’r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence to make atonements and compremises between you.
Yes, by my lady; if he gets a part of your coat, there are only three parts left for you, in my simple opinion: but that doesn’t matter. If Sir John Falstaff has done wrong to you, I’m a man of the church, and I’ll gladly help to make peace and settle things between you.
The council shall bear it; it is a riot.
The council will handle it; it’s a disturbance.
It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that.
It’s not right for the council to deal with a disturbance; there’s no fear of God in a disturbance: the council, you see, will want to hear about the fear of God, not a disturbance; think about that.
Ha! o’ my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.
Ha! I swear, if I were young again, the sword would settle it.
It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it: and there is also another device in my prain, which peradventure prings goot discretions with it: there is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas Page, which is pretty virginity.
It’s better for friends to settle it with the sword, and end it: and I have another idea in my mind, which might bring good results: there’s Anne Page, the daughter of Master Thomas Page, who is a very nice young woman.
Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman.
Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks softly, like a woman.
It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his death’s-bed--Got deliver to a joyful resurrections! --give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
That’s the very one, just as you’d want; and her grandfather has seven hundred pounds, and gold and silver, on his deathbed--may God grant him a joyful resurrection!-- which will be hers when she turns seventeen years old: it would be a good idea if we stop all this talking and try to arrange a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?
Did her grandfather leave her seven hundred pounds?
Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.
Yes, and her father is going to make her even richer.
I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.
I know the young lady; she has good qualities.
Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts.
Seven hundred pounds and possibilities are good qualities.
Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?
Well, let’s go see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?
Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that is false, or as I despise one that is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door for Master Page.
Shall I tell you the truth? I despise a liar as much as I despise anyone who is dishonest, or anyone who is untruthful. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I beg you, listen to your friends. I’ll knock on the door for Master Page.
What, hoa! Got pless your house here!
What, hello! God bless your house here!
[Within] Who’s there?
[Inside] Who’s there?
Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend, and Justice Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.
Here is God’s blessing, and your friend, and Justice Shallow; and here young Master Slender, who maybe will tell you another story, if things go the way you want.
I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.
I’m happy to see you all doing well. Thank you for the venison, Master Shallow.
Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page?--and I thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart.
Master Page, I’m happy to see you: may it bring you much happiness! I wish your venison was better; it was poorly killed. How’s good Mistress Page?--and I thank you always from the bottom of my heart, truly!
Sir, I thank you.
Sir, thank you.
Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.
Sir, thank you; by yes and no, I do.
I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.
I’m glad to see you, good Master Slender.
How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he was outrun on Cotsall.
How’s your greyhound, sir? I heard he was outrun at Cotsall.
It could not be judged, sir.
It couldn’t be judged, sir.
You’ll not confess, you’ll not confess.
You won’t admit it, you won’t admit it.
That he will not. ’Tis your fault, ’tis your fault; ’tis a good dog.
He won’t admit it. It’s your fault, it’s your fault; he’s a good dog.
A cur, sir.
A mutt, sir.
Sir, he’s a good dog, and a fair dog: can there be more said? he is good and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here?
Sir, he’s a good dog, and a fine dog: can you say more? He’s both good and fine. Is Sir John Falstaff here?
Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.
Sir, he’s inside; I just wish I could help you both out.
It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.
That’s how a Christian should speak.
He hath wronged me, Master Page.
He has wronged me, Master Page.
Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.
Sir, he does admit it in some way.
If it be confessed, it is not redress’d: is not that so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he hath, at a word, he hath, believe me: Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged.
If he admits it, it’s not fixed: isn’t that right, Master Page? He has wronged me; really, he has, believe me: Robert Shallow, the lawyer, says he’s wronged.
Here comes Sir John.
Here comes Sir John.
Now, Master Shallow, you’ll complain of me to the king?
So, Master Shallow, you’re going to complain about me to the king?
Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge.
You’ve beaten my men, killed my deer, and broken into my lodge.
But not kissed your keeper’s daughter?
But you didn’t kiss your gamekeeper’s daughter, did you?
Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.
Nonsense! this will be settled.
I will answer it straight; I have done all this. That is now answered.
I’ll settle it right now; I’ve done all of that. There, it’s settled.
The council shall know this.
The council will hear about this.
’Twere better for you if it were known in counsel: you’ll be laughed at.
It’d be better for you if it stayed within the council: they’ll just laugh at you.
Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.
Few words, Sir John; good herbs.
Good worts! good cabbage. Slender, I broke your head: what matter have you against me?
Good herbs! Good cabbage. Slender, I cracked your skull: what do you have against me?
Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol.
Well, sir, I have something against you; and against your thieving buddies, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol.
You Banbury cheese!
You Banbury cheese!
Ay, it is no matter.
Yes, it doesn’t matter.
How now, Mephostophilus!
What’s up, Mephistopheles!
Ay, it is no matter.
Yes, it doesn’t matter.
Slice, I say! pauca, pauca: slice! that’s my humour.
Cut, I say! a little, a little: cut! that’s how I feel.
Where’s Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?
Where’s Simple, my servant? Can you tell me, cousin?
Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that is, Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.
Quiet, please. Now, let’s get this straight. There are three people handling this, as I understand it; that is, Master Page, specifically Master Page; and then there’s me, specifically me; and the third person is, finally and lastly, the landlord of the Garter.
We three, to hear it and end it between them.
We three, to listen and settle it between them.
Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note- book; and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with as great discreetly as we can.
Very good: I’ll make a note of it in my notebook; and we’ll later work on the case with as much discretion as we can.
Pistol!
Pistol!
He hears with ears.
He listens with his ears.
The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, ’He hears with ear’? why, it is affectations.
The devil and his damnation! what’s that phrase, ‘He listens with his ear’? Why, it’s pretentious.
Pistol, did you pick Master Slender’s purse?
Pistol, did you steal Master Slender’s purse?
Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else, of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two pence apiece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.
Yes, by these gloves, he did, or I swear I’d never enter my own big room again, if it weren’t for seven groats in sixpenny pieces, and two Edward shovel-boards, which cost me two shillings and two pence each from Yead Miller, by these gloves.
Is this true, Pistol?
Is this true, Pistol?
No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse.
No; that’s not true, if it’s a thief.
Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John and Master mine, I combat challenge of this latten bilbo. Word of denial in thy labras here! Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest!
Ha, you mountain-dweller! Sir John and my master, I challenge you to a duel with this blunt sword. Say no more here! Say no more: nonsense and lies, you’re lying!
By these gloves, then, ’twas he.
By these gloves, it was him.
Be avised, sir, and pass good humours: I will say ’marry trap’ with you, if you run the nuthook’s humour on me; that is the very note of it.
Think carefully, sir, and stay in a good mood: I’ll say “married trap” with you, if you bring the criminal’s attitude towards me; that’s exactly what this is about.
By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.
By this hat, he had it with the red face; because even though I can’t remember what I did when you made me drunk, I’m not completely a fool.
What say you, Scarlet and John?
What do you say, Scarlet and John?
Why, sir, for my part I say the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences.
Well, sir, for my part I say the gentleman drank himself out of his senses.
It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is!
It’s his five senses: shame on such ignorance!
And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and so conclusions passed the careires.
And being drunk, sir, was, as they say, dismissed; and so conclusions were ignored.
Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but ’tis no matter: I’ll ne’er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I’ll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.
Yes, you spoke in Latin then too; but it doesn’t matter: I’ll never be drunk again in my life, except in honest, respectable, godly company, because of this mistake: if I do get drunk, I’ll drink with those who fear God, and not with drunken fools.
So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind.
May God judge me, that is a virtuous mind.
You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.
You hear all these things denied, gentlemen; you hear it.
Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we’ll drink within.
No, daughter, bring the wine in; we’ll drink inside.
O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page.
Oh heavens! this is Mistress Anne Page.
How now, Mistress Ford!
Hello, Mistress Ford!
Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met: by your leave, good mistress.
Mistress Ford, truly, it’s great to see you: if you’ll excuse me, good mistress.
Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.
Wife, please welcome these gentlemen. Come, we have a hot venison pie for dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope we can drink away all hard feelings.
I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of Songs and Sonnets here.
I’d rather have my Book of Songs and Sonnets here than forty shillings.
How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles about you, have you?
What’s this, Simple! Where have you been? I have to wait on myself, do I? You don’t have the Book of Riddles with you, do you?
Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon All-hallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas?
Book of Riddles! Didn’t you lend it to Alice Shortcake on All Hallow’s Eve, two weeks before Michaelmas?
Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as ’twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here. Do you understand me?
Come on, cousin; come on, cousin; we’re waiting for you. A word with you, cousin; well, here’s the thing, cousin: there is, as it were, a proposal, a sort of proposal, made from afar by Sir Hugh here. Do you get me?
Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason.
Yes, sir, you’ll find me reasonable; if that’s the case, I’ll do what’s reasonable.
Nay, but understand me.
No, but understand me.
So I do, sir.
I do understand, sir.
Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.
Pay attention to his actions, Master Slender: I’ll explain the situation to you, if you’re able to understand it.
Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray you, pardon me; he’s a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here.
No, I’ll do as my cousin Shallow says: I ask you to forgive me; he’s a justice of the peace in his area, even though I seem simple here.
But that is not the question: the question is concerning your marriage.
But that’s not the issue: the issue is about your marriage.
Ay, there’s the point, sir.
Yes, that’s the point, sir.
Marry, is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page.
Indeed, it is; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page.
Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands.
Well, if that’s the case, I will marry her for any reasonable request.
But can you affection the ’oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the mouth. Therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid?
But can you truly care for the woman? Let us hear it from your mouth or from your lips; because many philosophers believe the lips are part of the mouth. So, to be clear, can you genuinely want the girl?
Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?
Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?
I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that would do reason.
I hope, sir, I will do what’s right, as anyone should when doing the sensible thing.
Nay, Got’s lords and his ladies! you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her.
Oh, goodness gracious! you must speak clearly, if you can show her your feelings for her.
That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?
That’s what you must do. Will you marry her with a good dowry?
I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason.
I will do something even greater than that, at your request, cousin, if it makes sense.
Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?
No, listen to me, listen to me, dear cousin: what I do is to make you happy, cousin. Can you love the girl?
I will marry her, sir, at your request: but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married and have more occasion to know one another; I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, ’Marry her,’ I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.
I will marry her, sir, if you ask me: but if there’s no strong love at first, maybe over time, as we get to know each other after we’re married, it might grow. I hope that familiarity will lead to more contempt: but if you say, ’Marry her,’ I will marry her; I’m fully willing, and ready to do it.
It is a fery discretion answer; save the fall is in the ort ’dissolutely:’ the ort is, according to our meaning, ’resolutely:’ his meaning is good.
That’s a very sensible answer; except for the use of ’dissolutely’ instead of ’resolutely:’ what he meant was good.
Ay, I think my cousin meant well.
Yes, I think my cousin meant well.
Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!
Yes, or else I’d deserve to be hanged, really!
Here comes fair Mistress Anne.
Here comes the lovely Mistress Anne.
Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne!
I wish I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne!
The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships’ company.
Dinner is ready; my father would like you to join us.
I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne.
I’ll wait for him, beautiful Mistress Anne.
Od’s plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.
Good God’s will! I won’t miss the grace.
Will’t please your worship to come in, sir?
Would you like to come in, sir?
No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.
No, thank you, truly, I’m quite well.
The dinner attends you, sir.
Dinner is waiting for you, sir.
I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my cousin Shallow.
I’m not hungry, thank you, really. Go, servant, though you are my man, go wait on my cousin Shallow.
A justice of peace sometimes may be beholding to his friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: but what though? Yet I live like a poor gentleman born.
A justice of the peace might sometimes need a friend’s help to get a man. I only have three men and a boy for now, until my mother dies: but what of it? I still live like a poor gentleman born.
I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till you come.
I can’t go in without you, sir; they won’t sit down until you arrive.
I’ faith, I’ll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.
Honestly, I’ll eat nothing; I thank you as if I did.
I pray you, sir, walk in.
Please, sir, come inside.
I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised my shin th’ other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence; three veneys for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i’ the town?
I’d rather stay out here, thank you. I hurt my shin the other day playing with a sword and dagger with a fencing master; three feints for a plate of stewed prunes; and, honestly, I can’t stand the smell of hot meat anymore. Why are your dogs barking? Are there bears in the town?
I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.
I think there are, sir; I’ve heard people talk about them.
I love the sport well but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not?
I enjoy the sport, but I’d just as easily argue about it as any man in England. You’re scared, aren’t you, if you see the bear loose?
Ay, indeed, sir.
Yes, indeed, sir.
That’s meat and drink to me, now. I have seen Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women, indeed, cannot abide ’em; they are very ill-favored rough things.
That’s just fine with me. I’ve seen Sackerson loose twenty times, and I’ve grabbed him by the chain; but, I swear, the women screamed and yelled so much that we had to move away. But women, really, can’t stand them; they’re such ugly, rough things.
Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.
Come on, kind Master Slender, come; we’re waiting for you.
I’ll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.
I won’t eat anything, thank you, sir.
By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come.
By God and all that’s holy, you’ll have to eat, sir! come, come.
Nay, pray you, lead the way.
No, please, lead the way.
Come on, sir.
Let’s go, sir.
Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.
Mistress Anne, you should go first.
Not I, sir; pray you, keep on.
Not me, sir; please, you go ahead.
I’ll rather be unmannerly than troublesome. You do yourself wrong, indeed, la!
I’d rather be rude than a bother. You’re making a mistake, really!