Much Ado About Nothing · Act 3, Scene 5

Listen in app

Original

Modern English

Enter LEONATO, with DOGBERRY and VERGES
Enter LEONATO, with DOGBERRY and VERGES
Leonato

What would you with me, honest neighbour?

Leonato

What do you want from me, honest neighbor?

Dogberry

Marry, sir, I would have some confidence with you that decerns you nearly.

Dogberry

Well, sir, I need to speak with you about something that concerns you directly.

Leonato

Brief, I pray you; for you see it is a busy time with me.

Leonato

Keep it brief, please; as you can see, I’m busy right now.

Dogberry

Marry, this it is, sir.

Dogberry

Well, this is it, sir.

Verges

Yes, in truth it is, sir.

Verges

Yes, it is, sir, truly.

Leonato

What is it, my good friends?

Leonato

What is it, my good friends?

Dogberry

Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the matter: an old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt as, God help, I would desire they were; but, in faith, honest as the skin between his brows.

Dogberry

Good man Verges, sir, is speaking a bit off-topic: he’s an old man, sir, and his mind isn’t as sharp as I’d like it to be; but, honestly, as trustworthy as the skin on his forehead.

Verges

Yes, I thank God I am as honest as any man living that is an old man and no honester than I.

Verges

Yes, I thank God I’m as honest as any old man alive who’s no more honest than I am.

Dogberry

Comparisons are odorous: palabras, neighbour Verges.

Dogberry

Comparisons stink: enough of this, neighbor Verges.

Leonato

Neighbours, you are tedious.

Leonato

Neighbors, you’re being tedious.

Dogberry

It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the poor duke’s officers; but truly, for mine own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I could find it in my heart to bestow it all of your worship.

Dogberry

You’re right to say that, sir, but we’re just the poor duke’s officers; though, to be honest, if I were as annoying as a king, I’d still find it in my heart to give it all to you, sir.

Leonato

All thy tediousness on me, ah?

Leonato

You want to lay all your tediousness on me, huh?

Dogberry

Yea, an ’twere a thousand pound more than ’tis; for I hear as good exclamation on your worship as of any man in the city; and though I be but a poor man, I am glad to hear it.

Dogberry

Yes, even if it were a thousand pounds more than it is; because I hear more praise of you, sir, than of any other man in the city; and even though I’m just a poor man, I’m happy to hear it.

Verges

And so am I.

Verges

And so am I.

Leonato

I would fain know what you have to say.

Leonato

I’d really like to know what you have to say.

Verges

Marry, sir, our watch to-night, excepting your worship’s presence, ha’ ta’en a couple of as arrant knaves as any in Messina.

Verges

Well, sir, our watch tonight, except for your presence, ha’ caught a couple of the most blatant criminals in Messina.

Dogberry

A good old man, sir; he will be talking: as they say, when the age is in, the wit is out: God help us! it is a world to see. Well said, i’ faith, neighbour Verges: well, God’s a good man; an two men ride of a horse, one must ride behind. An honest soul, i’ faith, sir; by my troth he is, as ever broke bread; but God is to be worshipped; all men are not alike; alas, good neighbour!

Dogberry

A good old man, sir; he will be talking: as they say, when you get older, you lose your sharpness: God help us! it’s a strange world. Well said, really, neighbour Verges: well, God’s a good man; if two men ride a horse, one must ride behind. An honest man, really, sir; I swear he is, as honest as anyone who’s ever eaten bread; but God must be worshipped; not all men are the same; poor neighbour!

Leonato

Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you.

Leonato

Truly, neighbour, he doesn’t measure up to you.

Dogberry

Gifts that God gives.

Dogberry

The gifts that God gives.

Leonato

I must leave you.

Leonato

I must leave you.

Dogberry

One word, sir: our watch, sir, have indeed comprehended two aspicious persons, and we would have them this morning examined before your worship.

Dogberry

One moment, sir: our watch, sir, has actually caught two suspicious people, and we’d like to have them examined by you this morning.

Leonato

Take their examination yourself and bring it me: I am now in great haste, as it may appear unto you.

Leonato

Do their questioning yourself and bring it to me: I am in a great hurry, as you can see.

Dogberry

It shall be suffigance.

Dogberry

That will be enough.

Leonato

Drink some wine ere you go: fare you well.

Leonato

Drink some wine before you go: goodbye.

Enter a Messenger
Enter a Messenger
Messenger

My lord, they stay for you to give your daughter to her husband.

Messenger

My lord, they’re waiting for you to give your daughter to her husband.

Leonato

I’ll wait upon them: I am ready.

Leonato

I’ll go with them: I’m ready.

Exeunt LEONATO and Messenger
Exeunt LEONATO and Messenger
Dogberry

Go, good partner, go, get you to Francis Seacole; bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the gaol: we are now to examination these men.

Dogberry

Go, good partner, go, get to Francis Seacole; tell him to bring his pen and ink to the jail: we are about to question these men.

Verges

And we must do it wisely.

Verges

And we must do it carefully.

Dogberry

We will spare for no wit, I warrant you; here’s that shall drive some of them to a non-come: only get the learned writer to set down our excommunication and meet me at the gaol.

Dogberry

We won’t lack for wit, I promise you; here’s something that will confuse some of them: just get the educated writer to write down our excommunication and meet me at the jail.

Exuent
Exeunt

End of Act 3, Scene 5

That's the end of this scene. Want to keep going? Pick up the next one below — or hear it narrated in the app.

Get the iOS app Get the Android app

Read the summary & analysis →

♪ Listen with the app Get it free →