Love's Labour's Lost · Act 1, Scene 2

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Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO and MOTH
Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO and MOTH

DON

DON

Adriano De Armado

Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit grows melancholy?

Adriano De Armado

Boy, what does it mean when a man with a strong character becomes sad?

Moth

A great sign, sir, that he will look sad. DON

Moth

It’s a big sign, sir, that he’s going to look sad. DON

Adriano De Armado

Why, sadness is one and the self-same thing, dear imp.

Adriano De Armado

But sadness and melancholy are the same thing, my dear little imp.

Moth

No, no; O Lord, sir, no. DON

Moth

No, no; Oh my goodness, sir, no. DON

Adriano De Armado

How canst thou part sadness and melancholy, my tender juvenal?

Adriano De Armado

How can you separate sadness and melancholy, my delicate young friend?

Moth

By a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough senior. DON

Moth

By a simple demonstration of how they work, my tough old man. DON

Adriano De Armado

Why tough senior? why tough senior?

Adriano De Armado

Why “tough old man”? why “tough old man”?

Moth

Why tender juvenal? why tender juvenal? DON

Moth

Why “delicate young friend”? why “delicate young friend”? DON

Adriano De Armado

I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton appertaining to thy young days, which we may nominate tender.

Adriano De Armado

I said “delicate young friend” because it’s a fitting term that matches your youth, which we might call delicate.

Moth

And I, tough senior, as an appertinent title to your old time, which we may name tough. DON ADRIANO DE

Moth

And I, tough senior, as a fitting title for your old age, which we could call tough. DON ADRIANO DE

Armado

Pretty and apt.

Armado

Nice and suitable.

Moth

How mean you, sir? I pretty, and my saying apt? or I apt, and my saying pretty? DON

Moth

What do you mean, sir? Am I nice, and my words suitable? Or am I suitable, and my words nice? DON

Adriano De Armado

Thou pretty, because little.

Adriano De Armado

You are nice, because small.

Moth

Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt? DON

Moth

Small and nice, because small. Why suitable? DON

Adriano De Armado

And therefore apt, because quick.

Adriano De Armado

And therefore suitable, because quick.

Moth

Speak you this in my praise, master? DON

Moth

Are you praising me, master? DON

Adriano De Armado

In thy condign praise.

Adriano De Armado

In your rightful praise.

Moth

I will praise an eel with the same praise. DON

Moth

I’ll praise an eel with the same praise. DON

Adriano De Armado

What, that an eel is ingenious?

Adriano De Armado

What, that an eel is clever?

Moth

That an eel is quick. DON

Moth

That an eel is quick. DON

Adriano De Armado

I do say thou art quick in answers: thou heatest my blood.

Adriano De Armado

I mean you are quick with your answers: you make my blood boil.

Moth

I am answered, sir. DON

Moth

I have answered, sir. DON

Adriano De Armado

I love not to be crossed.

Adriano De Armado

I don’t like to be contradicted.

Moth

[Aside] He speaks the mere contrary; crosses love not him. DON

Moth

[Aside] He says the opposite; contradictions don’t suit him. DON

Adriano De Armado

I have promised to study three years with the duke.

Adriano De Armado

I’ve promised to study for three years with the duke.

Moth

You may do it in an hour, sir. DON

Moth

You can do it in an hour, sir. DON

Adriano De Armado

Impossible.

Adriano De Armado

That’s impossible.

Moth

How many is one thrice told? DON

Moth

How many is one, counted three times? DON

Adriano De Armado

I am ill at reckoning; it fitteth the spirit of a tapster.

Adriano De Armado

I’m bad at math; that’s something for a bartender to know.

Moth

You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir. DON

Moth

You’re a gentleman and a gambler, sir. DON

Adriano De Armado

I confess both: they are both the varnish of a complete man.

Adriano De Armado

I admit both: they’re the finishing touches of a complete man.

Moth

Then, I am sure, you know how much the gross sum of deuce-ace amounts to. DON

Moth

Then, I’m sure you know how much the total of two and two is. DON

Adriano De Armado

It doth amount to one more than two.

Adriano De Armado

It’s one more than two.

Moth

Which the base vulgar do call three. DON

Moth

Which the common people call three. DON

Adriano De Armado

True.

Adriano De Armado

True.

Moth

Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here is three studied, ere ye’ll thrice wink: and how easy it is to put ’years’ to the word ’three,’ and study three years in two words, the dancing horse will tell you. DON

Moth

Why, sir, is this such a big deal? Here, we’ve got three studied, before you can even blink three times: and how easy it is to add "years" to the word "three," and study three years in two words, the dancing horse will show you. DON

Adriano De Armado

A most fine figure!

Adriano De Armado

A very fine figure!

Moth

To prove you a cipher. DON

Moth

To prove you’re a fool. DON

Adriano De Armado

I will hereupon confess I am in love: and as it is base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a base wench. If drawing my sword against the humour of affection would deliver me from the reprobate thought of it, I would take Desire prisoner, and ransom him to any French courtier for a new-devised courtesy. I think scorn to sigh: methinks I should outswear Cupid. Comfort, me, boy: what great men have been in love?

Adriano De Armado

I will admit that I am in love: and as it is unworthy for a soldier to love, so I am in love with a lowly wench. If drawing my sword against the force of affection would free me from the cursed thought of it, I would take Desire prisoner, and sell him to any French noble for a newly invented kind act. I think it’s beneath me to sigh: I should out-swear Cupid. Comfort me, boy: what famous men have been in love?

Moth

Hercules, master. DON

Moth

Hercules, master. DON

Adriano De Armado

Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name more; and, sweet my child, let them be men of good repute and carriage.

Adriano De Armado

Sweet Hercules! More names, dear boy, give me more; and, my sweet child, let them be men of good reputation and character.

Moth

Samson, master: he was a man of good carriage, great carriage, for he carried the town-gates on his back like a porter: and he was in love. DON

Moth

Samson, master: he was a man with great strength, a strong man, because he carried the town gates on his back like a porter: and he was in love. DON

Adriano De Armado

O well-knit Samson! strong-jointed Samson! I do excel thee in my rapier as much as thou didst me in carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was Samson’s love, my dear Moth?

Adriano De Armado

Oh, well-built Samson! strong, tough Samson! I do outshine you with my sword as much as you outshone me in carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was Samson’s love, my dear Moth?

Moth

A woman, master. DON

Moth

A woman, master. DON

Adriano De Armado

Of what complexion?

Adriano De Armado

What was her complexion?

Moth

Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four. DON

Moth

One of the four types, or the three, or the two, or any one of the four. DON

Adriano De Armado

Tell me precisely of what complexion.

Adriano De Armado

Tell me exactly what her complexion was.

Moth

Of the sea-water green, sir. DON

Moth

Sea-water green, sir. DON

Adriano De Armado

Is that one of the four complexions?

Adriano De Armado

Is that one of the four complexions?

Moth

As I have read, sir; and the best of them too. DON

Moth

That’s what I’ve read, sir; and it’s the best of them too. DON

Adriano De Armado

Green indeed is the colour of lovers; but to have a love of that colour, methinks Samson had small reason for it. He surely affected her for her wit.

Adriano De Armado

Green, indeed, is the colour of lovers; but to love someone of that colour, I think Samson had little reason for it. He must have loved her for her intelligence.

Moth

It was so, sir; for she had a green wit. DON

Moth

That’s right, sir; she had a sharp wit. DON

Adriano De Armado

My love is most immaculate white and red.

Adriano De Armado

My love is pure white and red.

Moth

Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked under such colours. DON

Moth

Very impure thoughts, master, are often hidden behind such colours. DON

Adriano De Armado

Define, define, well-educated infant.

Adriano De Armado

Explain, explain, well-educated child.

Moth

My father’s wit and my mother’s tongue, assist me! DON

Moth

My father’s wit and my mother’s tongue, help me! DON

Adriano De Armado

Sweet invocation of a child; most pretty and pathetical!

Adriano De Armado

Sweet prayer of a child; so pretty and touching!

Moth

If she be made of white and red, Her faults will ne’er be known, For blushing cheeks by faults are bred And fears by pale white shown: Then if she fear, or be to blame, By this you shall not know, For still her cheeks possess the same Which native she doth owe. A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of white and red. DON

Moth

If she’s made of white and red, Her faults will never be known, Because blushing cheeks come from faults And pale white cheeks show fear: So if she’s afraid, or if she’s at fault, You won’t be able to tell, Because her cheeks will always look the same As they naturally do. A dangerous rhyme, master, that goes against the idea of white and red. DON

Adriano De Armado

Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar?

Adriano De Armado

Isn’t there a song, boy, about the King and the Beggar?

Moth

The world was very guilty of such a ballad some three ages since: but I think now ’tis not to be found; or, if it were, it would neither serve for the writing nor the tune. DON

Moth

The world had such a song about three ages ago, But I think now it can’t be found; or if it were, It wouldn’t be good for either the writing or the tune. DON

Adriano De Armado

I will have that subject newly writ o’er, that I may example my digression by some mighty precedent. Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in the park with the rational hind Costard: she deserves well.

Adriano De Armado

I will have that subject written again, so I can use it as an example for my digression with some great example. Boy, I love that country girl I met in the park with the clever hind Costard: she deserves much.

Moth

[Aside] To be whipped; and yet a better love than my master. DON

Moth

[Aside] To be punished; and yet she’s a better match for love than my master. DON

Adriano De Armado

Sing, boy; my spirit grows heavy in love.

Adriano De Armado

Sing, boy; my heart is heavy with love.

Moth

And that’s great marvel, loving a light wench. DON

Moth

And that’s really surprising, loving a light girl. DON

Adriano De Armado

I say, sing.

Adriano De Armado

I said, sing.

Moth

Forbear till this company be past.

Moth

Wait until this group is past.

Enter DULL, COSTARD, and JAQUENETTA
Enter DULL, COSTARD, and JAQUENETTA
Dull

Sir, the duke’s pleasure is, that you keep Costard safe: and you must suffer him to take no delight nor no penance; but a’ must fast three days a week. For this damsel, I must keep her at the park: she is allowed for the day-woman. Fare you well. DON

Dull

Sir, the duke’s order is that you keep Costard safe: and you must not let him enjoy any pleasure or do any penance; but he must fast three days a week. As for this young woman, I must keep her at the park: she’s allowed to be the day worker. Goodbye. DON

Adriano De Armado

I do betray myself with blushing. Maid!

Adriano De Armado

I’m betraying myself by blushing. Maid!

Jaquenetta

Man? DON

Jaquenetta

Man? DON

Adriano De Armado

I will visit thee at the lodge.

Adriano De Armado

I’ll visit you at the lodge.

Jaquenetta

That’s hereby. DON

Jaquenetta

It’s right here. DON

Adriano De Armado

I know where it is situate.

Adriano De Armado

I know where it is located.

Jaquenetta

Lord, how wise you are! DON

Jaquenetta

Lord, how smart you are! DON

Adriano De Armado

I will tell thee wonders.

Adriano De Armado

I’ll tell you amazing things.

Jaquenetta

With that face? DON

Jaquenetta

With that look? DON

Adriano De Armado

I love thee.

Adriano De Armado

I love you.

Jaquenetta

So I heard you say. DON

Jaquenetta

I heard you say that. DON

Adriano De Armado

And so, farewell.

Adriano De Armado

And now, goodbye.

Jaquenetta

Fair weather after you!

Jaquenetta

Have a nice day!

Dull

Come, Jaquenetta, away!

Dull

Come on, Jaquenetta, let’s go!

Exeunt DULL and JAQUENETTA
Exeunt DULL and JAQUENETTA
Dull

DON

Dull

DON

Adriano De Armado

Villain, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou be pardoned.

Adriano De Armado

Scoundrel, you’ll go hungry for your crimes before you’re forgiven.

Costard

Well, sir, I hope, when I do it, I shall do it on a full stomach. DON

Costard

Well, sir, I hope that when I do, I’ll do it after a good meal. DON

Adriano De Armado

Thou shalt be heavily punished.

Adriano De Armado

You’ll be punished severely.

Costard

I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they are but lightly rewarded. DON

Costard

I owe you more than your friends, because they don’t get much in return. DON

Adriano De Armado

Take away this villain; shut him up.

Adriano De Armado

Take this villain away; lock him up.

Moth

Come, you transgressing slave; away!

Moth

Come on, you troublemaker; go!

Costard

Let me not be pent up, sir: I will fast, being loose.

Costard

Don’t lock me up, sir: I’ll fast, being free.

Moth

No, sir; that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison.

Moth

No, sir; that’s being both locked up and free: you’ll go to prison.

Costard

Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation that I have seen, some shall see.

Costard

Well, if I ever see the good times of misery that I’ve seen, some people will see them too.

Moth

What shall some see?

Moth

What will they see?

Costard

Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon. It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their words; and therefore I will say nothing: I thank God I have as little patience as another man; and therefore I can be quiet.

Costard

Nothing, Master Moth, except what they look at. It’s not for prisoners to be too quiet with their words; so I won’t say anything: I thank God I have as little patience as anyone else; and that’s why I can be quiet.

Exeunt MOTH and COSTARD
Exeunt MOTH and COSTARD
Costard

DON

Costard

DON

Adriano De Armado

I do affect the very ground, which is base, where her shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, which is basest, doth tread. I shall be forsworn, which is a great argument of falsehood, if I love. And how can that be true love which is falsely attempted? Love is a familiar; Love is a devil: there is no evil angel but Love. Yet was Samson so tempted, and he had an excellent strength; yet was Solomon so seduced, and he had a very good wit. Cupid’s butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules’ club; and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard’s rapier. The first and second cause will not serve my turn; the passado he respects not, the duello he regards not: his disgrace is to be called boy; but his glory is to subdue men. Adieu, valour! rust rapier! be still, drum! for your manager is in love; yea, he loveth. Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme, for I am sure I shall turn sonnet. Devise, wit; write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio.

Adriano De Armado

I am in love with the very ground, which is low, where her shoe, which is even lower, guided by her foot, which is the lowest, treads. I will be lying, which is a clear sign of falsehood, if I love. And how can that be true love which is faked? Love is a habit; Love is a devil: there is no bad angel but Love. Yet Samson was tempted that way, and he had amazing strength; yet Solomon was misled the same, and he had very good sense. Cupid’s arrow is too strong for Hercules’ club; and that makes it too much of a challenge for a Spaniard’s sword. The first and second reasons won’t work for me; the thrust he doesn’t care about, the duel he doesn’t care about: his shame is being called a boy; but his glory is in defeating men. Goodbye, courage! Rust, sword! Be quiet, drum! because your leader is in love; yes, he loves. Help me, some impromptu god of poetry, because I know I’ll start writing a sonnet. Come up with ideas, wit; write, pen; because I’m ready to write whole books.

Exit
Exit
Adriano De Armado

LOVE’S LABOURS LOST

Adriano De Armado

LOVE’S LABOURS LOST

End of Act 1, Scene 2

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