King Lear · Act 1, Scene 5

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Enter KING LEAR, KENT, and Fool
Enter KING LEAR, KENT, and Fool
King Lear

Go you before to Gloucester with these letters. Acquaint my daughter no further with any thing you know than comes from her demand out of the letter. If your diligence be not speedy, I shall be there afore you.

King Lear

Go on ahead to Gloucester with these letters. Don’t tell my daughter anything beyond what she asks based on what’s in the letters. If you’re not quick, I’ll get there before you do.

Kent

I will not sleep, my lord, till I have delivered your letter.

Kent

I won’t sleep, my lord, until I’ve delivered your letter.

Exit
Exit
Fool

If a man’s brains were in’s heels, were’t not in danger of kibes?

Fool

If a man’s brain were in his heels, wouldn’t it be at risk of getting infected?

King Lear

Ay, boy.

King Lear

Yes, boy.

Fool

Then, I prithee, be merry; thy wit shall ne’er go slip-shod.

Fool

Then, I beg you, be happy; your mind won’t ever go to waste.

King Lear

Ha, ha, ha!

King Lear

Ha, ha, ha!

Fool

Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly; for though she’s as like this as a crab’s like an apple, yet I can tell what I can tell.

Fool

You’ll see your other daughter will treat you well; because even though she’s as different from this one as a crab is from an apple, I know what I know.

King Lear

Why, what canst thou tell, my boy?

King Lear

What do you know, my boy?

Fool

She will taste as like this as a crab does to a crab. Thou canst tell why one’s nose stands i’ the middle on’s face?

Fool

She’ll be just like this one as a crab is like a crab. Can you explain why a person’s nose is in the middle of their face?

King Lear

No.

King Lear

No.

Fool

Why, to keep one’s eyes of either side’s nose; that what a man cannot smell out, he may spy into.

Fool

It’s so the eyes are on either side of the nose, so that what a man can’t smell, he can still see.

King Lear

I did her wrong--

King Lear

I was wrong to her--

Fool

Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell?

Fool

Can you explain how an oyster makes its shell?

King Lear

No.

King Lear

No.

Fool

Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a house.

Fool

Neither can I; but I can tell you why a snail has a shell.

King Lear

Why?

King Lear

Why?

Fool

Why, to put his head in; not to give it away to his daughters, and leave his horns without a case.

Fool

Why, to put his head in; not to give it away to his daughters, and leave his horns without a case.

King Lear

I will forget my nature. So kind a father! Be my horses ready?

King Lear

I will forget who I am. Such a kind father! Are my horses ready?

Fool

Thy asses are gone about ’em. The reason why the seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty reason.

Fool

Your donkeys are already out and about. The reason why the seven stars are only seven is a simple reason.

King Lear

Because they are not eight?

King Lear

Because they’re not eight?

Fool

Yes, indeed: thou wouldst make a good fool.

Fool

Yes, exactly: you’d make a great fool.

King Lear

To take ’t again perforce! Monster ingratitude!

King Lear

To take it back by force! What horrible ingratitude!

Fool

If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I’ld have thee beaten for being old before thy time.

Fool

If you were my fool, uncle, I’d have you beaten for being old before your time.

King Lear

How’s that?

King Lear

How’s that?

Fool

Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst been wise.

Fool

You shouldn’t have been old until you were wise.

King Lear

O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven Keep me in temper: I would not be mad!

King Lear

Oh, please don’t let me go mad, not mad, sweet heaven Keep me calm: I don’t want to be mad!

Enter Gentleman
Enter Gentleman
King Lear

How now! are the horses ready?

King Lear

How is it? Are the horses ready?

Gentleman

Ready, my lord.

Gentleman

Ready, my lord.

King Lear

Come, boy.

King Lear

Come, boy.

Fool

She that’s a maid now, and laughs at my departure, Shall not be a maid long, unless things be cut shorter.

Fool

She who is a maiden now, and laughs at my leaving, Won’t stay a maiden for long, unless things are cut short.

Exuent
Exeunt

End of Act 1, Scene 5

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