Original
Modern English
So, sirs: now go some and pull down the Savoy; others to the inns of court; down with them all.
Alright, gentlemen: now some of you go and tear down the Savoy; others to the inns of court; destroy them all.
I have a suit unto your lordship.
I have a request for your lordship.
Be it a lordship, thou shalt have it for that word.
If it’s a title, you’ll get it just for saying the word.
Only that the laws of England may come out of your mouth.
Just as long as the laws of England can come out of your mouth.
[Aside] Mass, ’twill be sore law, then; for he was thrust in the mouth with a spear, and ’tis not whole yet.
[Aside] Well, that will be harsh law, then; because he was stabbed in the mouth with a spear, and it’s still not healed yet.
[Aside] Nay, John, it will be stinking law for his breath stinks with eating toasted cheese.
[Aside] No, John, it will be bad law because his breath stinks from eating toasted cheese.
I have thought upon it, it shall be so. Away, burn all the records of the realm: my mouth shall be the parliament of England.
I’ve thought about it, and it shall be so. Go, burn all the records of the kingdom: my mouth will be England’s parliament.
[Aside] Then we are like to have biting statutes, unless his teeth be pulled out.
[Aside] Then we’re likely to get cruel laws, unless they pull his teeth out.
And henceforward all things shall be in common.
And from now on, everything will be shared by all.
My lord, a prize, a prize! here’s the Lord Say, which sold the towns in France; he that made us pay one and twenty fifteens, and one shilling to the pound, the last subsidy.
My lord, a prize, a prize! Here’s the Lord Say, the man who sold the towns in France; he who made us pay twenty-one fifteens, and one shilling for every pound, the last tax.
Well, he shall be beheaded for it ten times. Ah, thou say, thou serge, nay, thou buckram lord! now art thou within point-blank of our jurisdiction regal. What canst thou answer to my majesty for giving up of Normandy unto Mounsieur Basimecu, the dauphin of France? Be it known unto thee by these presence, even the presence of Lord Mortimer, that I am the besom that must sweep the court clean of such filth as thou art. Thou hast most traitorously corrupted the youth of the realm in erecting a grammar school; and whereas, before, our forefathers had no other books but the score and the tally, thou hast caused printing to be used, and, contrary to the king, his crown and dignity, thou hast built a paper-mill. It will be proved to thy face that thou hast men about thee that usually talk of a noun and a verb, and such abominable words as no Christian ear can endure to hear. Thou hast appointed justices of peace, to call poor men before them about matters they were not able to answer. Moreover, thou hast put them in prison; and because they could not read, thou hast hanged them; when, indeed, only for that cause they have been most worthy to live. Thou dost ride in a foot-cloth, dost thou not?
Well, he’ll be beheaded for it ten times. Ah, you say, you sergeant, no, you buckram lord! Now you’re within the reach of our royal authority. What can you say to my majesty about giving up Normandy to Monsieur Basimecu, the Dauphin of France? Know this, by the presence of Lord Mortimer, that I am the broom that will clean up the court of filth like you. You’ve most traitorously corrupted the youth of the kingdom by setting up a grammar school; and while, before, our ancestors only had the tally and score, you’ve introduced printing, and, against the king, his crown, and his dignity, you’ve built a paper mill. It will be proved to your face that you have people around you who talk about nouns and verbs, and other horrible words that no Christian ear can stand to hear. You’ve appointed justices of the peace, to summon poor men before them about matters they can’t answer. And worse, you’ve thrown them in prison; and because they couldn’t read, you’ve hanged them; when, in fact, they should have lived because of that. You ride on a fancy saddle, don’t you?
What of that?
What of it?
Marry, thou oughtest not to let thy horse wear a cloak, when honester men than thou go in their hose and doublets.
Well, you shouldn’t let your horse wear a cloak when more honest men than you go around in their hose and doublets.
And work in their shirt too; as myself, for example, that am a butcher.
And work in their shirts too; like me, for example, I’m a butcher.
You men of Kent,--
You men of Kent,--
What say you of Kent?
What do you have to say about Kent?
Nothing but this; ’tis ’bona terra, mala gens.’
Just this; "Good land, bad people."
Away with him, away with him! he speaks Latin.
Get rid of him, get rid of him! He speaks Latin.
Hear me but speak, and bear me where you will. Kent, in the Commentaries Caesar writ, Is term’d the civil’st place of this isle: Sweet is the country, because full of riches; The people liberal, valiant, active, wealthy; Which makes me hope you are not void of pity. I sold not Maine, I lost not Normandy, Yet, to recover them, would lose my life. Justice with favour have I always done; Prayers and tears have moved me, gifts could never. When have I aught exacted at your hands, But to maintain the king, the realm and you? Large gifts have I bestow’d on learned clerks, Because my book preferr’d me to the king, And seeing ignorance is the curse of God, Knowledge the wing wherewith we fly to heaven, Unless you be possess’d with devilish spirits, You cannot but forbear to murder me: This tongue hath parley’d unto foreign kings For your behoof,--
Listen to me, just hear me out, and take me wherever you want. Kent, in Caesar’s writings, Is called the most civilized part of this island: The country is sweet, because it’s full of riches; The people are generous, brave, active, and wealthy; This makes me hope that you are not without compassion. I didn’t sell Maine, I didn’t lose Normandy, Yet, to get them back, I would give my life. I’ve always done justice with kindness; Prayers and tears have moved me, but gifts never did. When have I ever demanded anything from you, But to support the king, the kingdom, and you? I’ve given large gifts to learned scholars, Because my book brought me to the king, And seeing that ignorance is God’s curse, Knowledge is the way we fly to heaven, Unless you’re possessed by evil spirits, You can’t help but spare me: This tongue has spoken to foreign kings For your benefit,--
Tut, when struck’st thou one blow in the field?
Ha! When did you ever fight in the field?
Great men have reaching hands: oft have I struck Those that I never saw and struck them dead.
Great men have long arms: I’ve often struck People I’ve never seen, and struck them dead.
O monstrous coward! what, to come behind folks?
You monstrous coward! What, sneak up on people?
These cheeks are pale for watching for your good.
These cheeks are pale because I’ve been watching out for your good.
Give him a box o’ the ear and that will make ’em red again.
Give him a slap, that’ll make his cheeks red again.
Long sitting to determine poor men’s causes Hath made me full of sickness and diseases.
Long hours spent judging poor people’s cases Have made me sick and weak.
Ye shall have a hempen caudle, then, and the help of hatchet.
You’ll get a warm drink and a dose of a hatchet then.
Why dost thou quiver, man?
Why are you shaking, man?
The palsy, and not fear, provokes me.
It’s the palsy, not fear, that’s making me tremble.
Nay, he nods at us, as who should say, I’ll be even with you: I’ll see if his head will stand steadier on a pole, or no. Take him away, and behead him.
No, he’s nodding at us, like he’s saying, "I’ll get even With you." I’ll see if his head stays steadier On a pole. Take him away, and behead him.
Tell me wherein have I offended most? Have I affected wealth or honour? speak. Are my chests fill’d up with extorted gold? Is my apparel sumptuous to behold? Whom have I injured, that ye seek my death? These hands are free from guiltless bloodshedding, This breast from harbouring foul deceitful thoughts. O, let me live!
Tell me, how have I most wronged you? Have I gone after wealth or honor? Speak. Are my chests filled with stolen gold? Is my clothing extravagant? Who have I hurt that you want me dead? These hands are clean of innocent blood, This chest free from harboring deceit. Oh, let me live!
[Aside] I feel remorse in myself with his words; but I’ll bridle it: he shall die, an it be but for pleading so well for his life. Away with him! he has a familiar under his tongue; he speaks not o’ God’s name. Go, take him away, I say, and strike off his head presently; and then break into his son-in-law’s house, Sir James Cromer, and strike off his head, and bring them both upon two poles hither.
[Aside] I feel guilty hearing him speak, But I’ll control it: he must die, even if it’s just for Pleading so well for his life. Get rid of him! He Has something familiar under his tongue; he doesn’t speak in God’s name. Go, take him away, I say, and cut off his head right now; then break into his Son-in-law’s house, Sir James Cromer’s, and cut off His head too, and bring them both on two poles here.
It shall be done.
It will be done.
Ah, countrymen! if when you make your prayers, God should be so obdurate as yourselves, How would it fare with your departed souls? And therefore yet relent, and save my life.
Ah, countrymen! if when you make your prayers, God should be as stubborn as you are, How would it go with your souls after you die? So please, have mercy, and save my life.
Away with him! and do as I command ye.
Get rid of him! Do as I tell you.
The proudest peer in the realm shall not wear a head on his shoulders, unless he pay me tribute; there shall not a maid be married, but she shall pay to me her maidenhead ere they have it: men shall hold of me in capite; and we charge and command that their wives be as free as heart can wish or tongue can tell.
The highest noble in the kingdom won’t keep his head unless he pays me tribute; no woman will get married without giving me her virginity first: men will hold land from me; and we order that their wives be as free as they wish.
My lord, when shall we go to Cheapside and take up commodities upon our bills?
My lord, when will we go to Cheapside and take up goods to sell on our bills?
Marry, presently.
Right now.
O, brave!
Oh, great!
But is not this braver? Let them kiss one another, for they loved well when they were alive. Now part them again, lest they consult about the giving up of some more towns in France. Soldiers, defer the spoil of the city until night: for with these borne before us, instead of maces, will we ride through the streets, and at every corner have them kiss. Away!
But isn’t this even better? Let them kiss each other, since they loved each other when they were alive. Now separate them again, so they don’t plan on giving up more French towns. Soldiers, hold off on looting the city until night: because we will ride through the streets with these heads instead of maces, and make them kiss at every corner. Go!