Henry IV, Part 2 · Act 3, Scene 2

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Enter SHALLOW and SILENCE, meeting; MOULDY, SHADOW, WART, FEEBLE, BULLCALF, a Servant or two with them
Enter SHALLOW and SILENCE, meeting; MOULDY, SHADOW, WART, FEEBLE, BULLCALF, and a Servant or two with them
Shallow

Come on, come on, come on, sir; give me your hand, sir, give me your hand, sir: an early stirrer, by the rood! And how doth my good cousin Silence?

Shallow

Come on, come on, come on, sir; give me your hand, sir, give me your hand, sir: an early riser, by the cross! And how’s my good cousin Silence?

Silence

Good morrow, good cousin Shallow.

Silence

Good morning, good cousin Shallow.

Shallow

And how doth my cousin, your bedfellow? and your fairest daughter and mine, my god-daughter Ellen?

Shallow

And how’s my cousin, your wife? And your prettiest daughter and mine, my god-daughter Ellen?

Silence

Alas, a black ousel, cousin Shallow!

Silence

Alas, a sorrowful bird, cousin Shallow!

Shallow

By yea and nay, sir, I dare say my cousin William is become a good scholar: he is at Oxford still, is he not?

Shallow

By yes and no, sir, I dare say my cousin William has become a fine scholar: he’s still at Oxford, right?

Silence

Indeed, sir, to my cost.

Silence

Indeed, sir, to my expense.

Shallow

A’ must, then, to the inns o’ court shortly. I was once of Clement’s Inn, where I think they will talk of mad Shallow yet.

Shallow

He must be heading to the inns of court soon. I was once at Clement’s Inn, where I think they still talk about mad Shallow.

Silence

You were called ’lusty Shallow’ then, cousin.

Silence

They used to call you ‘lusty Shallow’ back then, cousin.

Shallow

By the mass, I was called any thing; and I would have done any thing indeed too, and roundly too. There was I, and little John Doit of Staffordshire, and black George Barnes, and Francis Pickbone, and Will Squele, a Cotswold man; you had not four such swinge-bucklers in all the inns o’ court again: and I may say to you, we knew where the bona-robas were and had the best of them all at commandment. Then was Jack Falstaff, now Sir John, a boy, and page to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Norfolk.

Shallow

By God, I was called anything; and I would have done anything too, and I would have done it thoroughly. There I was, along with little John Doit from Staffordshire, and black George Barnes, and Francis Pickbone, and Will Squele, a man from Cotswold; you wouldn’t have found four bigger troublemakers in all the inns of court. And I can tell you, we knew where the women were, and we had the best of them at our command. Then there was Jack Falstaff, now Sir John, a boy, and a servant to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Norfolk.

Silence

This Sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon about soldiers?

Silence

This Sir John, cousin, who’s coming here soon, is he the one about soldiers?

Shallow

The same Sir John, the very same. I see him break Skogan’s head at the court-gate, when a’ was a crack not thus high: and the very same day did I fight with one Sampson Stockfish, a fruiterer, behind Gray’s Inn. Jesu, Jesu, the mad days that I have spent! and to see how many of my old acquaintance are dead!

Shallow

The same Sir John, exactly the same. I saw him break Skogan’s head at the court gate when he was a kid, not much higher than this: and on the same day, I fought with Sampson Stockfish, a fruiterer, behind Gray’s Inn. Jesus, Jesus, the crazy days I have lived through! And to think how many of my old friends are dead!

Silence

We shall all follow, cousin.

Silence

We’ll all follow soon, cousin.

Shadow

Certain, ’tis certain; very sure, very sure: death, as the Psalmist saith, is certain to all; all shall die. How a good yoke of bullocks at Stamford fair?

Shadow

Certainly, it’s certain; very sure, very sure: death, as the Psalm says, is certain for everyone; everyone will die. How about a good pair of oxen at Stamford fair?

Silence

By my troth, I was not there.

Silence

Honestly, I wasn’t there.

Shallow

Death is certain. Is old Double of your town living yet?

Shallow

Death is certain. Is old Double from your town still alive?

Silence

Dead, sir.

Silence

Dead, sir.

Shallow

Jesu, Jesu, dead! a’ drew a good bow; and dead! a’ shot a fine shoot: John a Gaunt loved him well, and betted much money on his head. Dead! a’ would have clapped i’ the clout at twelve score; and carried you a forehand shaft a fourteen and fourteen and a half, that it would have done a man’s heart good to see. How a score of ewes now?

Shallow

Jesus, Jesus, dead! He could shoot a good bow; and now he’s dead! He made some fine shots: John a Gaunt liked him a lot, and bet a lot of money on him. Dead! He could have hit the target at twelve score; and carried you a forehand shot of fourteen and fourteen and a half, that it would have done a man’s heart good to see. How about a flock of sheep now?

Silence

Thereafter as they be: a score of good ewes may be worth ten pounds.

Silence

As they are: a good flock of twenty sheep might be worth ten pounds.

Shallow

And is old Double dead?

Shallow

And is old Double dead?

Silence

Here come two of Sir John Falstaff’s men, as I think.

Silence

Here come two of Sir John Falstaff’s men, I think.

Enter BARDOLPH and one with him
Enter BARDOLPH and one with him
Bardolph

Good morrow, honest gentlemen: I beseech you, which is Justice Shallow?

Bardolph

Good morning, honest gentlemen: I beg you, which one is Justice Shallow?

Shallow

I am Robert Shallow, sir; a poor esquire of this county, and one of the king’s justices of th e peace: What is your good pleasure with me?

Shallow

I am Robert Shallow, sir; a poor squire from this county, and one of the king’s justices of the peace: What can I do for you?

Bardolph

My captain, sir, commends him to you; my captain, Sir John Falstaff, a tall gentleman, by heaven, and a most gallant leader.

Bardolph

My captain, sir, sends his regards to you; my captain, Sir John Falstaff, a tall gentleman, by heaven, and a most gallant leader.

Shallow

He greets me well, sir. I knew him a good backsword man. How doth the good knight? may I ask how my lady his wife doth?

Shallow

He greets me well, sir. I knew him as a skilled swordsman. How is the good knight? May I ask how my lady, his wife, is doing?

Bardolph

Sir, pardon; a soldier is better accommodated than with a wife.

Bardolph

Sir, excuse me; a soldier is better off without a wife.

Shallow

It is well said, in faith, sir; and it is well said indeed too. Better accommodated! it is good; yea, indeed, is it: good phrases are surely, and ever were, very commendable. Accommodated! it comes of ’accommodo’ very good; a good phrase.

Shallow

Well said, truly, sir; and it’s very well said too. Better off! That’s good; yes, truly, it is: good phrases are certainly, and always have been, very commendable. Better off! It comes from ’accommodo’—very good; a good phrase.

Bardolph

Pardon me, sir; I have heard the word. Phrase call you it? by this good day, I know not the phrase; but I will maintain the word with my sword to be a soldier-like word, and a word of exceeding good command, by heaven. Accommodated; that is, when a man is, as they say, accommodated; or when a man is, being, whereby a’ may be thought to be accommodated; which is an excellent thing.

Bardolph

Excuse me, sir; I’ve heard that word. A phrase, you call it? By this good day, I don’t know the phrase; but I’ll stand by the word with my sword as being a soldierly word, and a word of excellent authority, by heaven. Better off; that means, when a man is, as they say, better off; or when a man is, well, being, so that he might be thought to be better off; which is an excellent thing.

Shallow

It is very just.

Shallow

That’s quite true.

Enter FALSTAFF
Enter FALSTAFF
Shallow

Look, here comes good Sir John. Give me your good hand, give me your worship’s good hand: by my troth, you like well and bear your years very well: welcome, good Sir John.

Shallow

Look, here comes good Sir John. Give me your hand, give me your good hand: by my word, you look well and carry your years well: welcome, good Sir John.

Falstaff

I am glad to see you well, good Master Robert Shallow: Master Surecard, as I think?

Falstaff

I’m glad to see you well, good Master Robert Shallow: Master Surecard, as I believe?

Shallow

No, Sir John; it is my cousin Silence, in commission with me.

Shallow

No, Sir John; it’s my cousin Silence, who’s working with me.

Falstaff

Good Master Silence, it well befits you should be of the peace.

Falstaff

Good Master Silence, it suits you well to be a part of the peace.

Silence

Your good-worship is welcome.

Silence

Your worship is welcome.

Falstaff

Fie! this is hot weather, gentlemen. Have you provided me here half a dozen sufficient men?

Falstaff

Fie! this is hot weather, gentlemen. Have you got me half a dozen decent men here?

Shallow

Marry, have we, sir. Will you sit?

Shallow

Yes, we have, sir. Would you like to sit?

Falstaff

Let me see them, I beseech you.

Falstaff

Let me see them, I beg you.

Shallow

Where’s the roll? where’s the roll? where’s the roll? Let me see, let me see, let me see. So, so: yea, marry, sir: Ralph Mouldy! Let them appear as I call; let them do so, let them do so. Let me see; where is Mouldy?

Shallow

Where’s the list? where’s the list? where’s the list? Let me see, let me see, let me see. So, so: yes, indeed, sir: Ralph Mouldy! Let them come forward as I call; let them do so, let them do so. Let me see; where is Mouldy?

Mouldy

Here, an’t please you.

Mouldy

Here, if it pleases you.

Shallow

What think you, Sir John? a good-limbed fellow; young, strong, and of good friends.

Shallow

What do you think, Sir John? a strong, healthy guy; young, tough, and with good connections.

Falstaff

Is thy name Mouldy?

Falstaff

Is your name Mouldy?

Mouldy

Yea, an’t please you.

Mouldy

Yes, if it pleases you.

Falstaff

’Tis the more time thou wert used.

Falstaff

It’s about time you were put to use.

Shallow

Ha, ha, ha! most excellent, i’ faith! Things that are mouldy lack use: very singular good! in faith, well said, Sir John, very well said.

Shallow

Ha, ha, ha! truly excellent! Things that are moldy don’t get used: very clever, indeed! well said, Sir John, very well said.

Falstaff

Prick him.

Falstaff

Mark him.

Mouldy

I was pricked well enough before, an you could have let me alone: my old dame will be undone now for one to do her husbandry and her drudgery: you need not to have pricked me; there are other men fitter to go out than I.

Mouldy

I was marked well enough before, if you’d just left me alone: my old woman will be in trouble now with no one to help her with the farming and housework: you didn’t need to mark me; there are other men more suited to go than me.

Falstaff

Go to: peace, Mouldy; you shall go. Mouldy, it is time you were spent.

Falstaff

Enough, be quiet, Mouldy; you’ll go. Mouldy, it’s time you were used up.

Mouldy

Spent!

Mouldy

Used up!?

Shallow

Peace, fellow, peace; stand aside: know you where you are? For the other, Sir John: let me see: Simon Shadow!

Shallow

Quiet, man, quiet; step aside: do you know where you are? As for the other, Sir John: let me see: Simon Shadow!

Falstaff

Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under: he’s like to be a cold soldier.

Falstaff

Yes, of course, let me have him sit down: he’s likely to be a weak soldier.

Shallow

Where’s Shadow?

Shallow

Where’s Shadow?

Shadow

Here, sir.

Shadow

Here, sir.

Falstaff

Shadow, whose son art thou?

Falstaff

Shadow, whose son are you?

Shadow

My mother’s son, sir.

Shadow

My mother’s son, sir.

Falstaff

Thy mother’s son! like enough, and thy father’s shadow: so the son of the female is the shadow of the male: it is often so, indeed; but much of the father’s substance!

Falstaff

Your mother’s son! Seems likely, and your father’s shadow: so the son of the mother is the shadow of the father: it’s often true, indeed; but what of the father’s substance?

Shallow

Do you like him, Sir John?

Shallow

Do you like him, Sir John?

Falstaff

Shadow will serve for summer; prick him, for we have a number of shadows to fill up the muster-book.

Falstaff

A shadow will do for summer; just mark him down, we need a lot of shadows to fill out the list.

Shallow

Thomas Wart!

Shallow

Thomas Wart!

Falstaff

Where’s he?

Falstaff

Where is he?

Wart

Here, sir.

Wart

Here, sir.

Falstaff

Is thy name Wart?

Falstaff

Is your name Wart?

Wart

Yea, sir.

Wart

Yes, sir.

Falstaff

Thou art a very ragged wart.

Falstaff

You are a very shabby Wart.

Shallow

Shall I prick him down, Sir John?

Shallow

Should I mark him down, Sir John?

Falstaff

It were superfluous; for his apparel is built upon his back and the whole frame stands upon pins: prick him no more.

Falstaff

There’s no need; his clothes are barely holding together and the whole thing is hanging by a thread: don’t mark him.

Shallow

Ha, ha, ha! you can do it, sir; you can do it: I commend you well. Francis Feeble!

Shallow

Ha, ha, ha! You’re good at this, sir; I commend you. Francis Feeble!

Feeble

Here, sir.

Feeble

Here, sir.

Falstaff

What trade art thou, Feeble?

Falstaff

What’s your trade, Feeble?

Feeble

A woman’s tailor, sir.

Feeble

A woman’s tailor, sir.

Shallow

Shall I prick him, sir?

Shallow

Should I mark him, sir?

Falstaff

You may: but if he had been a man’s tailor, he’ld ha’ pricked you. Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemy’s battle as thou hast done in a woman’s petticoat?

Falstaff

You can: but if he’d been a man’s tailor, he’d have marked you. Would you make as many holes in an enemy’s uniform as you’ve made in a woman’s petticoat?

Feeble

I will do my good will, sir; you can have no more.

Feeble

I’ll do my best, sir; you can’t expect more from me.

Falstaff

Well said, good woman’s tailor! well said, courageous Feeble! thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse. Prick the woman’s tailor: well, Master Shallow; deep, Master Shallow.

Falstaff

Well said, good woman’s tailor! Well said, brave Feeble! You’ll be as brave as the angry dove or the most heroic mouse. Get the woman’s tailor! Well, Master Shallow; deep, Master Shallow.

Feeble

I would Wart might have gone, sir.

Feeble

I wish Wart could have gone instead, sir.

Falstaff

I would thou wert a man’s tailor, that thou mightst mend him and make him fit to go. I cannot put him to a private soldier that is the leader of so many thousands: let that suffice, most forcible Feeble.

Falstaff

I wish you were a men’s tailor, so you could fix him and make him fit to go. I can’t send him to fight as a regular soldier when he’s the leader of so many thousands: let that be enough, strongest Feeble.

Feeble

It shall suffice, sir.

Feeble

That will be enough, sir.

Falstaff

I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble. Who is next?

Falstaff

I owe you one, honorable Feeble. Who’s next?

Shallow

Peter Bullcalf o’ the green!

Shallow

Peter Bullcalf from the green!

Falstaff

Yea, marry, let’s see Bullcalf.

Falstaff

Yes, let’s see Bullcalf.

Bullcalf

Here, sir.

Bullcalf

Here, sir.

Falstaff

’Fore God, a likely fellow! Come, prick me Bullcalf till he roar again.

Falstaff

By God, a fine-looking fellow! Come on, prick me Bullcalf until he roars again.

Bullcalf

O Lord! good my lord captain,--

Bullcalf

Oh Lord! please, my lord captain,--

Falstaff

What, dost thou roar before thou art pricked?

Falstaff

What, are you roaring before I’ve pricked you?

Bullcalf

O Lord, sir! I am a diseased man.

Bullcalf

Oh Lord, sir! I’m a sick man.

Falstaff

What disease hast thou?

Falstaff

What illness do you have?

Bullcalf

A whoreson cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I caught with ringing in the king’s affairs upon his coronation-day, sir.

Bullcalf

A bastard cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I got from ringing the bell during the king’s coronation day, sir.

Falstaff

Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown; we wilt have away thy cold; and I will take such order that my friends shall ring for thee. Is here all?

Falstaff

Come on, you’ll go to war in a gown; we’ll get rid of your cold, and I’ll make sure my friends will ring for you. Is that all?

Shallow

Here is two more called than your number, you must have but four here, sir: and so, I pray you, go in with me to dinner.

Shallow

There are two more called than the number you have, you only need four here, sir: so, please, come inside and have dinner with me.

Falstaff

Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot tarry dinner. I am glad to see you, by my troth, Master Shallow.

Falstaff

Alright, I’ll go drink with you, but I can’t stay for dinner. I’m happy to see you, really, Master Shallow.

Shallow

O, Sir John, do you remember since we lay all night in the windmill in Saint George’s field?

Shallow

Oh, Sir John, do you remember when we stayed the whole night in the windmill in Saint George’s field?

Falstaff

No more of that, good Master Shallow, no more of that.

Falstaff

No more of that, good Master Shallow, no more of that.

Shallow

Ha! ’twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork alive?

Shallow

Ha! It was a fun night. Is Jane Nightwork still alive?

Falstaff

She lives, Master Shallow.

Falstaff

She’s alive, Master Shallow.

Shallow

She never could away with me.

Shallow

She never could stand me.

Falstaff

Never, never; she would always say she could not abide Master Shallow.

Falstaff

Never, never; she would always say she couldn’t stand Master Shallow.

Shallow

By the mass, I could anger her to the heart. She was then a bona-roba. Doth she hold her own well?

Shallow

By the mass, I could make her really angry. She was a lively woman back then. Does she still do well for herself?

Falstaff

Old, old, Master Shallow.

Falstaff

She’s old now, old, Master Shallow.

Shallow

Nay, she must be old; she cannot choose but be old; certain she’s old; and had Robin Nightwork by old Nightwork before I came to Clement’s Inn.

Shallow

Well, she has to be old; she can’t avoid getting old; she’s definitely old; and she had Robin Nightwork with old Nightwork before I even arrived at Clement’s Inn.

Silence

That’s fifty-five year ago.

Silence

That was fifty-five years ago.

Shallow

Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that that this knight and I have seen! Ha, Sir John, said I well?

Shallow

Ha, cousin Silence, if only you’d seen what this knight and I have seen! Ha, Sir John, did I say that right?

Falstaff

We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.

Falstaff

We’ve heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.

Shallow

That we have, that we have, that we have; in faith, Sir John, we have: our watch-word was ’Hem boys!’ Come, let’s to dinner; come, let’s to dinner: Jesus, the days that we have seen! Come, come.

Shallow

We have, we have, we have; truly, Sir John, we have: our password was ‘Hem boys!’ Come, let’s go to dinner; come, let’s go to dinner: Jesus, the days we’ve seen! Come, come.

Exeunt FALSTAFF and Justices
Exeunt FALSTAFF and Justices
Bullcalf

Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand my friend; and here’s four Harry ten shillings in French crowns for you. In very truth, sir, I had as lief be hanged, sir, as go: and yet, for mine own part, sir, I do not care; but rather, because I am unwilling, and, for mine own part, have a desire to stay with my friends; else, sir, I did not care, for mine own part, so much.

Bullcalf

Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand by me as a friend; and here’s four Harry ten shillings in French crowns for you. Honestly, sir, I’d rather be hanged, sir, than go: and yet, for my part, sir, I don’t mind; but really, because I’m not willing, and, for my part, I want to stay with my friends; otherwise, sir, I wouldn’t care, for my part, so much.

Bardolph

Go to; stand aside.

Bardolph

Go on; step aside.

Mouldy

And, good master corporal captain, for my old dame’s sake, stand my friend: she has nobody to do any thing about her when I am gone; and she is old, and cannot help herself: You shall have forty, sir.

Mouldy

And, good master corporal captain, for the sake of my old lady, stand by me as a friend: she has no one to take care of her when I’m gone; and she’s old, and can’t manage by herself: You’ll get forty, sir.

Bardolph

Go to; stand aside.

Bardolph

Go on; step aside.

Feeble

By my troth, I care not; a man can die but once: we owe God a death: I’ll ne’er bear a base mind: an’t be my destiny, so; an’t be not, so: no man is too good to serve’s prince; and let it go which way it will, he that dies this year is quit for the next.

Feeble

Honestly, I don’t care; a man can only die once: we owe God a death: I’ll never have a cowardly attitude: if it’s my fate, then so be it; if not, then so be it: no man is too good to serve his prince; and whatever happens, the one who dies this year is free for next year.

Bardolph

Well said; thou’rt a good fellow.

Bardolph

Well said; you’re a good fellow.

Feeble

Faith, I’ll bear no base mind.

Feeble

Honestly, I won’t have a cowardly attitude.

Re-enter FALSTAFF and the Justices
Re-enter FALSTAFF and the Justices
Falstaff

Come, sir, which men shall I have?

Falstaff

Come, sir, which men shall I take?

Shallow

Four of which you please.

Shallow

Four of whichever you choose.

Bardolph

Sir, a word with you: I have three pound to free Mouldy and Bullcalf.

Bardolph

Sir, a word with you: I have three pounds to free Mouldy and Bullcalf.

Falstaff

Go to; well.

Falstaff

Go ahead; fine.

Shallow

Come, Sir John, which four will you have?

Shallow

Come, Sir John, which four will you take?

Falstaff

Do you choose for me.

Falstaff

You choose for me.

Shallow

Marry, then, Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble and Shadow.

Shallow

Well then, Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble, and Shadow.

Falstaff

Mouldy and Bullcalf: for you, Mouldy, stay at home till you are past service: and for your part, Bullcalf, grow till you come unto it: I will none of you.

Falstaff

Mouldy and Bullcalf: as for you, Mouldy, stay at home until you’re past the age for service: and as for you, Bullcalf, grow until you’re old enough for it: I don’t want any of you.

Shallow

Sir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong: they are your likeliest men, and I would have you served with the best.

Shallow

Sir John, Sir John, don’t do yourself wrong: these are your best men, and I want you to be served by the best.

Falstaff

Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to choose a man? Care I for the limb, the thewes, the stature, bulk, and big assemblance of a man! Give me the spirit, Master Shallow. Here’s Wart; you see what a ragged appearance it is; a’ shall charge you and discharge you with the motion of a pewterer’s hammer, come off and on swifter than he that gibbets on the brewer’s bucket. And this same half-faced fellow, Shadow; give me this man: he presents no mark to the enemy; the foeman may with as great aim level at the edge of a penknife. And for a retreat; how swiftly will this Feeble the woman’s tailor run off! O, give me the spare men, and spare me the great ones. Put me a caliver into Wart’s hand, Bardolph.

Falstaff

Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to pick a man? Do I care about his build, muscles, height, size, or big appearance? Give me the spirit, Master Shallow. Here’s Wart; you see what a ragged look he has; he’ll charge and discharge you with the speed of a pewterer’s hammer, coming on and off faster than the man who hangs on the brewer’s bucket. And this half-faced guy, Shadow; give me this man: he has no mark for the enemy to aim at; the foe might as well aim at the edge of a penknife. And for a retreat; how quickly will this Feeble, the woman’s tailor, run off! Oh, give me the spare men, and spare me the big ones. Put a musket into Wart’s hand, Bardolph.

Bardolph

Hold, Wart, traverse; thus, thus, thus.

Bardolph

Hold, Wart, move around; like this, like this.

Falstaff

Come, manage me your caliver. So: very well: go to: very good, exceeding good. O, give me always a little, lean, old, chapt, bald shot. Well said, i’ faith, Wart; thou’rt a good scab: hold, there’s a tester for thee.

Falstaff

Come, show me how to handle your musket. So: very good: go ahead: very well, extremely good. Oh, give me always a little, lean, old, rough, bald shooter. Well said, i’ faith, Wart; you’re a good guy: here, take this penny for you.

Shallow

He is not his craft’s master; he doth not do it right. I remember at Mile-end Green, when I lay at Clement’s Inn--I was then Sir Dagonet in Arthur’s show,--there was a little quiver fellow, and a’ would manage you his piece thus; and a’ would about and about, and come you in and come you in: ’rah, tah, tah,’ would a’ say; ’bounce’ would a’ say; and away again would a’ go, and again would a’ come: I shall ne’er see such a fellow.

Shallow

He’s not a master of his craft; he doesn’t do it properly. I remember at Mile-end Green, when I stayed at Clement’s Inn--I was then Sir Dagonet in Arthur’s play,--there was a little guy with a bow, and he’d manage his weapon like this; he’d go around and around, and call you in and call you in: ‘rah, tah, tah,’ he’d say; ‘bounce,’ he’d say; and then he’d go away again, and come back: I’ll never see a guy like that again.

Falstaff

These fellows will do well, Master Shallow. God keep you, Master Silence: I will not use many words with you. Fare you well, gentlemen both: I thank you: I must a dozen mile to-night. Bardolph, give the soldiers coats.

Falstaff

These guys will do well, Master Shallow. God bless you, Master Silence: I won’t say much to you. Farewell, gentlemen both: thank you: I have to go a dozen miles tonight. Bardolph, give the soldiers their coats.

Shallow

Sir John, the Lord bless you! God prosper your affairs! God send us peace! At your return visit our house; let our old acquaintance be renewed; peradventure I will with ye to the court.

Shallow

Sir John, the Lord bless you! May God prosper your business! May God send us peace! When you come back, visit our house; let’s renew our old friendship; maybe I’ll go with you to the court.

Falstaff

’Fore God, I would you would, Master Shallow.

Falstaff

By God, I wish you would, Master Shallow.

Shallow

Go to; I have spoke at a word. God keep you.

Shallow

Go on; I’ve said all I need to. God keep you.

Falstaff

Fare you well, gentle gentlemen.

Falstaff

Farewell, good gentlemen.

Exeunt Justices
Exeunt Justices
Falstaff

On, Bardolph; lead the men away.

Falstaff

On, Bardolph; lead the men away.

Exeunt BARDOLPH, Recruits, & c
Exeunt BARDOLPH, Recruits, & c
Falstaff

As I return, I will fetch off these justices: I do see the bottom of Justice Shallow. Lord, Lord, how subject we old men are to this vice of lying! This same starved justice hath done nothing but prate to me of the wildness of his youth, and the feats he hath done about Turnbull Street: and every third word a lie, duer paid to the hearer than the Turk’s tribute. I do remember him at Clement’s Inn like a man made after supper of a cheese-paring: when a’ was naked, he was, for all the world, like a forked radish, with a head fantastically carved upon it with a knife: a’ was so forlorn, that his dimensions to any thick sight were invincible: a’ was the very genius of famine; yet lecherous as a monkey, and the whores called him mandrake: a’ came ever in the rearward of the fashion, and sung those tunes to the overscutched huswives that he heard the carmen whistle, and swear they were his fancies or his good-nights. And now is this Vice’s dagger become a squire, and talks as familiarly of John a Gaunt as if he had been sworn brother to him; and I’ll be sworn a’ ne’er saw him but once in the Tilt-yard; and then he burst his head for crowding among the marshal’s men. I saw it, and told John a Gaunt he beat his own name; for you might have thrust him and all his apparel into an eel-skin; the case of a treble hautboy was a mansion for him, a court: and now has he land and beefs. Well, I’ll be acquainted with him, if I return; and it shall go hard but I will make him a philosopher’s two stones to me: if the young dace be a bait for the old pike, I see no reason in the law of nature but I may snap at him. Let time shape, and there an end.

Falstaff

As I return, I’ll get these justices: I see the true nature of Justice Shallow. Lord, Lord, how easily we old men fall into the habit of lying! This starved old justice has done nothing but talk to me about the wildness of his youth, and the things he did around Turnbull Street: and every third word a lie, worse than the Turk’s tribute. I remember him at Clement’s Inn, like a man made after dinner from a cheese peel: when he was naked, he looked like a forked radish, with a head oddly carved on it with a knife: he was so miserable, that his size was invisible to anyone with decent eyesight: he was the very spirit of hunger; yet lecherous like a monkey, and the whores called him mandrake: he’d always come in at the tail end of fashion, and sing the songs the carmen whistled, claiming they were his own or his goodnights. And now this scoundrel’s dagger is a squire, and talks about John of Gaunt like he’s his sworn brother; and I swear he never saw him except once in the Tilt-yard; and then he busted his head for crowding with the marshal’s men. I saw it, and told John of Gaunt he was making a fool of himself; because you could’ve stuffed him and all his stuff into an eel-skin; the case of a triple clarinet was more roomy than him, a court: and now he has land and meat. Well, I’ll get to know him, if I return; and I swear I’ll make him a philosopher’s stone for me: if the young fish is bait for the old pike, I see no reason why I can’t catch him. Let time do its thing, and that’s that.

Exit
Exit

End of Act 3, Scene 2

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