As you like it · Act 1, Scene 2

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Enter CELIA and ROSALIND
Enter CELIA and ROSALIND
Celia

I pray thee, Rosalind, sweet my coz, be merry.

Celia

Please, Rosalind, my sweet cousin, cheer up.

Rosalind

Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress of; and would you yet I were merrier? Unless you could teach me to forget a banished father, you must not learn me how to remember any extraordinary pleasure.

Rosalind

Dear Celia, I show more joy than I truly feel; and would you like me to be even happier? Unless you could teach me how to forget a father who’s been banished, you can’t teach me how to enjoy anything else.

Celia

Herein I see thou lovest me not with the full weight that I love thee. If my uncle, thy banished father, had banished thy uncle, the duke my father, so thou hadst been still with me, I could have taught my love to take thy father for mine: so wouldst thou, if the truth of thy love to me were so righteously tempered as mine is to thee.

Celia

I can see here that you don’t love me as much as I love you. If my uncle, your exiled father, had banished my uncle, the duke my father, and you had stayed with me, I could have taught my love to accept your father as my own: you would have too, if the truth of your love for me were as pure as mine is for you.

Rosalind

Well, I will forget the condition of my estate, to rejoice in yours.

Rosalind

Well, I’ll forget about my own troubles, to celebrate yours.

Celia

You know my father hath no child but I, nor none is like to have: and, truly, when he dies, thou shalt be his heir, for what he hath taken away from thy father perforce, I will render thee again in affection; by mine honour, I will; and when I break that oath, let me turn monster: therefore, my sweet Rose, my dear Rose, be merry.

Celia

You know my father has no other children but me, and none will come after: and, truly, when he dies, you’ll inherit everything he has, because whatever he’s taken from your father by force, I’ll give back to you in love; by my honor, I swear I will; and when I break that vow, may I become a monster: so, my sweet Rose, my dear Rose, be happy.

Rosalind

From henceforth I will, coz, and devise sports. Let me see; what think you of falling in love?

Rosalind

From now on I will, cousin, and I’ll think of ways to entertain you. Let me see; what do you think about falling in love?

Celia

Marry, I prithee, do, to make sport withal: but love no man in good earnest; nor no further in sport neither than with safety of a pure blush thou mayst in honour come off again.

Celia

Well, I beg you, do it, just for fun: but don’t seriously love any man; and don’t go further in fun than you can safely blush and still walk away with your honor.

Rosalind

What shall be our sport, then?

Rosalind

So what should we do for fun, then?

Celia

Let us sit and mock the good housewife Fortune from her wheel, that her gifts may henceforth be bestowed equally.

Celia

Let’s sit and make fun of good old Fortune, as she turns her wheel, so that from now on her gifts may be spread out more fairly.

Rosalind

I would we could do so, for her benefits are mightily misplaced, and the bountiful blind woman doth most mistake in her gifts to women.

Rosalind

I wish we could do that, because her gifts are terribly misplaced, and the generous blind woman often gives women the wrong things.

Celia

’Tis true; for those that she makes fair she scarce makes honest, and those that she makes honest she makes very ill-favouredly.

Celia

It’s true; because those she makes beautiful she barely makes decent, and those she makes decent she makes very unattractive.

Rosalind

Nay, now thou goest from Fortune’s office to Nature’s: Fortune reigns in gifts of the world, not in the lineaments of Nature.

Rosalind

Wait, now you’re switching from Fortune’s role to Nature’s: Fortune controls the world’s gifts, not the features we’re born with.

Enter TOUCHSTONE
Enter TOUCHSTONE
Celia

No? when Nature hath made a fair creature, may she not by Fortune fall into the fire? Though Nature hath given us wit to flout at Fortune, hath not Fortune sent in this fool to cut off the argument?

Celia

No? When Nature creates a beautiful person, can’t they fall into misfortune? Even though Nature gave us the wit to mock Fortune, didn’t Fortune send this fool in to interrupt our conversation?

Rosalind

Indeed, there is Fortune too hard for Nature, when Fortune makes Nature’s natural the cutter-off of Nature’s wit.

Rosalind

Actually, sometimes Fortune is stronger than Nature, when she makes Nature’s own qualities the reason for cutting off Nature’s cleverness.

Celia

Peradventure this is not Fortune’s work neither, but Nature’s; who perceiveth our natural wits too dull to reason of such goddesses and hath sent this natural for our whetstone; for always the dulness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits. How now, wit! whither wander you?

Celia

Maybe this isn’t Fortune’s doing at all, but Nature’s; who sees our natural wits as too dull to reason about such divine things and sent this fool to sharpen us up; because the dullness of the fool is the whetstone for the wits. Well now, wit! Where are you wandering off to?

Touchstone

Mistress, you must come away to your father.

Touchstone

Mistress, you need to come with me to your father.

Celia

Were you made the messenger?

Celia

Were you made the messenger?

Touchstone

No, by mine honour, but I was bid to come for you.

Touchstone

No, by my honor, but I was asked to come and fetch you.

Rosalind

Where learned you that oath, fool?

Rosalind

Where did you learn that oath, fool?

Touchstone

Of a certain knight that swore by his honour they were good pancakes and swore by his honour the mustard was naught: now I’ll stand to it, the pancakes were naught and the mustard was good, and yet was not the knight forsworn.

Touchstone

From a certain knight who swore by his honor that they were good pancakes, and swore by his honor the mustard was bad: now I’ll stand by it, the pancakes were bad, but the mustard was good, and still the knight wasn’t lying.

Celia

How prove you that, in the great heap of your knowledge?

Celia

How do you prove that, with all your knowledge?

Rosalind

Ay, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom.

Rosalind

Yes, truly, now show your cleverness.

Touchstone

Stand you both forth now: stroke your chins, and swear by your beards that I am a knave.

Touchstone

Stand both of you here: stroke your chins, and swear by your beards that I am a dishonest man.

Celia

By our beards, if we had them, thou art.

Celia

By our beards, if we had them, you are.

Touchstone

By my knavery, if I had it, then I were; but if you swear by that that is not, you are not forsworn: no more was this knight swearing by his honour, for he never had any; or if he had, he had sworn it away before ever he saw those pancakes or that mustard.

Touchstone

By my dishonesty, if I had it, then I would be; but if you swear by something that doesn’t exist, you’re not breaking your oath: just like the knight swearing by his honor, since he never had any; or if he had, he’d already sworn it away before he ever saw those pancakes or that mustard.

Celia

Prithee, who is’t that thou meanest?

Celia

Please, who do you mean?

Touchstone

One that old Frederick, your father, loves.

Touchstone

Someone that your father, old Frederick, loves.

Celia

My father’s love is enough to honour him: enough! speak no more of him; you’ll be whipped for taxation one of these days.

Celia

My father’s love is enough to honor him: enough! Don’t talk about him anymore; you’ll get punished for talking nonsense one of these days.

Touchstone

The more pity, that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do foolishly.

Touchstone

It’s a shame that fools can’t say smart things like wise men do silly things.

Celia

By my troth, thou sayest true; for since the little wit that fools have was silenced, the little foolery that wise men have makes a great show. Here comes Monsieur Le Beau.

Celia

By my word, you’re right; since the little bit of sense fools have was shut up, the little bit of silliness that wise men have really stands out. Here comes Monsieur Le Beau.

Rosalind

With his mouth full of news.

Rosalind

With his mouth full of gossip.

Celia

Which he will put on us, as pigeons feed their young.

Celia

Which he’ll feed us with, just like pigeons feed their young.

Rosalind

Then shall we be news-crammed.

Rosalind

Then we’ll be stuffed with news.

Celia

All the better; we shall be the more marketable.

Celia

All the better; we’ll be more in demand.

Enter LE BEAU
Enter LE BEAU
Celia

Bon jour, Monsieur Le Beau: what’s the news?

Celia

Bon jour, Monsieur Le Beau: what’s the news?

Le Beau

Fair princess, you have lost much good sport.

Le Beau

Fair princess, you’ve missed out on some good entertainment.

Celia

Sport! of what colour?

Celia

Sport! What kind of sport?

Le Beau

What colour, madam! how shall I answer you?

Le Beau

What kind of sport, madam! How should I answer you?

Rosalind

As wit and fortune will.

Rosalind

However wit and chance dictate.

Touchstone

Or as the Destinies decree.

Touchstone

Or however fate decides.

Celia

Well said: that was laid on with a trowel.

Celia

Well said: that was said with great emphasis.

Touchstone

Nay, if I keep not my rank,--

Touchstone

No, if I don’t maintain my position,--

Rosalind

Thou losest thy old smell.

Rosalind

You’ll lose your old charm.

Le Beau

You amaze me, ladies: I would have told you of good wrestling, which you have lost the sight of.

Le Beau

You surprise me, ladies: I was going to tell you about the good wrestling, but you’ve missed it.

Rosalind

You tell us the manner of the wrestling.

Rosalind

Tell us how the wrestling happened.

Le Beau

I will tell you the beginning; and, if it please your ladyships, you may see the end; for the best is yet to do; and here, where you are, they are coming to perform it.

Le Beau

I’ll tell you the start; and if it pleases you, you can watch the end, because the best part is yet to come. They’re on their way to perform it right here.

Celia

Well, the beginning, that is dead and buried.

Celia

Well, the beginning doesn’t matter—it’s already over.

Le Beau

There comes an old man and his three sons,--

Le Beau

Here comes an old man and his three sons,--

Celia

I could match this beginning with an old tale.

Celia

I could match this start with an old story.

Le Beau

Three proper young men, of excellent growth and presence.

Le Beau

Three fine young men, strong and impressive.

Rosalind

With bills on their necks, ’Be it known unto all men by these presents.’

Rosalind

With signs around their necks, ’Let it be known to everyone by these notices.’

Le Beau

The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles, the duke’s wrestler; which Charles in a moment threw him and broke three of his ribs, that there is little hope of life in him: so he served the second, and so the third. Yonder they lie; the poor old man, their father, making such pitiful dole over them that all the beholders take his part with weeping.

Le Beau

The oldest of the three wrestled against Charles, the duke’s wrestler; and Charles threw him in a second, breaking three of his ribs, leaving little hope for his survival. He did the same to the second son, and then the third. Over there they lie, and their poor father is mourning so loudly that everyone watching is moved to tears.

Rosalind

Alas!

Rosalind

Oh no!

Touchstone

But what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladies have lost?

Touchstone

But what’s the game, sir, that the ladies have missed?

Le Beau

Why, this that I speak of.

Le Beau

It’s this thing I’m talking about.

Touchstone

Thus men may grow wiser every day: it is the first time that ever I heard breaking of ribs was sport for ladies.

Touchstone

This is how men get smarter every day: it’s the first time I’ve heard of breaking ribs being a game for ladies.

Celia

Or I, I promise thee.

Celia

Me too, I swear.

Rosalind

But is there any else longs to see this broken music in his sides? is there yet another dotes upon rib-breaking? Shall we see this wrestling, cousin?

Rosalind

But is there anyone else who wants to see this painful music in his ribs? Is there still another fool who loves rib-breaking? Shall we watch this wrestling, cousin?

Le Beau

You must, if you stay here; for here is the place appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to perform it.

Le Beau

You’ll have to, if you stay here; this is the spot set up for the wrestling, and they’re ready to do it.

Celia

Yonder, sure, they are coming: let us now stay and see it.

Celia

Look, they’re coming: let’s stay and watch.

Flourish. Enter DUKE FREDERICK, Lords, ORLANDO, CHARLES, and Attendants
Flourish. Enter DUKE FREDERICK, Lords, ORLANDO, CHARLES, and Attendants
Duke Frederick

Come on: since the youth will not be entreated, his own peril on his forwardness.

Duke Frederick

Let’s go: since the young man won’t listen, he’s putting himself in danger by being so eager.

Rosalind

Is yonder the man?

Rosalind

Is that the man?

Le Beau

Even he, madam.

Le Beau

Yes, madam, that’s him.

Celia

Alas, he is too young! yet he looks successfully.

Celia

Oh no, he’s too young! But he does look strong.

Duke Frederick

How now, daughter and cousin! are you crept hither to see the wrestling?

Duke Frederick

How’s it going, daughter and cousin! Did you sneak in to watch the wrestling?

Rosalind

Ay, my liege, so please you give us leave.

Rosalind

Yes, my lord, if you don’t mind letting us.

Duke Frederick

You will take little delight in it, I can tell you; there is such odds in the man. In pity of the challenger’s youth I would fain dissuade him, but he will not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies; see if you can move him.

Duke Frederick

You won’t enjoy it much, I can tell you; there’s too big a difference between the two men. Out of pity for the challenger’s youth, I’d like to talk him out of it, but he won’t listen. Ladies, talk to him; see if you can change his mind.

Celia

Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.

Celia

Call him over here, good Monsieur Le Beau.

Duke Frederick

Do so: I’ll not be by.

Duke Frederick

Do that: I’ll stay out of it.

Le Beau

Monsieur the challenger, the princesses call for you.

Le Beau

Monsieur the challenger, the princesses are calling for you.

Orlando

I attend them with all respect and duty.

Orlando

I’ll go to them with all respect and duty.

Rosalind

Young man, have you challenged Charles the wrestler?

Rosalind

Young man, did you challenge Charles the wrestler?

Orlando

No, fair princess; he is the general challenger: I come but in, as others do, to try with him the strength of my youth.

Orlando

No, fair princess; he is the main challenger: I am just joining in, like others, to test my strength against him while I’m young.

Celia

Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your years. You have seen cruel proof of this man’s strength: if you saw yourself with your eyes or knew yourself with your judgment, the fear of your adventure would counsel you to a more equal enterprise. We pray you, for your own sake, to embrace your own safety and give over this attempt.

Celia

Young man, you’re too brave for your age. You’ve seen the proof of this man’s strength: if you saw yourself with your own eyes or knew yourself better, you’d be scared to go ahead with this fight. For your own good, please reconsider and back off from this challenge.

Rosalind

Do, young sir; your reputation shall not therefore be misprised: we will make it our suit to the duke that the wrestling might not go forward.

Rosalind

Do it, young sir; your reputation won’t be harmed: we’ll ask the duke to stop the wrestling from happening.

Orlando

I beseech you, punish me not with your hard thoughts; wherein I confess me much guilty, to deny so fair and excellent ladies any thing. But let your fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my trial: wherein if I be foiled, there is but one shamed that was never gracious; if killed, but one dead that was willing to be so: I shall do my friends no wrong, for I have none to lament me, the world no injury, for in it I have nothing; only in the world I fill up a place, which may be better supplied when I have made it empty.

Orlando

Please, don’t punish me with your harsh thoughts; I admit I’m guilty of wanting to deny such beautiful and excellent ladies anything. But let your lovely eyes and kind wishes go with me to my match: if I lose, there’s only one person shamed, who was never really graceful; if I die, only one person dead, who was willing to be so. I won’t wrong my friends, because I have none to mourn me, nor the world, because I have nothing in it; I only take up space in the world, which could be better used when I’m gone.

Rosalind

The little strength that I have, I would it were with you.

Rosalind

I wish I had the little strength I have, to give it to you.

Celia

And mine, to eke out hers.

Celia

And mine, to help hers.

Rosalind

Fare you well: pray heaven I be deceived in you!

Rosalind

Goodbye: I hope I’m wrong about you!

Celia

Your heart’s desires be with you!

Celia

May your heart’s desires be with you!

Charles

Come, where is this young gallant that is so desirous to lie with his mother earth?

Charles

Come, where is this young man who is so eager to lie down with his mother earth?

Orlando

Ready, sir; but his will hath in it a more modest working.

Orlando

Ready, sir; but I’m more modest about it than he thinks.

Duke Frederick

You shall try but one fall.

Duke Frederick

You’ll only get one fall.

Charles

No, I warrant your grace, you shall not entreat him to a second, that have so mightily persuaded him from a first.

Charles

No, I assure you, Your Grace, you won’t be able to convince him to try again after you’ve already talked him out of the first one.

Orlando

An you mean to mock me after, you should not have mocked me before: but come your ways.

Orlando

If you’re planning to make fun of me later, you shouldn’t have made fun of me now: but come on, let’s go.

Rosalind

Now Hercules be thy speed, young man!

Rosalind

May Hercules speed you, young man!

Celia

I would I were invisible, to catch the strong fellow by the leg.

Celia

I wish I were invisible, so I could grab that strong fellow by the leg.

They wrestle
They wrestle
Rosalind

O excellent young man!

Rosalind

Oh, excellent young man!

Celia

If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who should down.

Celia

If I had a thunderbolt in my eye, I could tell who would be knocked down.

Shout. CHARLES is thrown
Shout. CHARLES is thrown
Duke Frederick

No more, no more.

Duke Frederick

No more, no more.

Orlando

Yes, I beseech your grace: I am not yet well breathed.

Orlando

Yes, I beg Your Grace’s pardon: I’m not quite caught my breath yet.

Duke Frederick

How dost thou, Charles?

Duke Frederick

How are you, Charles?

Le Beau

He cannot speak, my lord.

Le Beau

He can’t speak, my lord.

Duke Frederick

Bear him away. What is thy name, young man?

Duke Frederick

Carry him away. What’s your name, young man?

Orlando

Orlando, my liege; the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys.

Orlando

Orlando, my lord; the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys.

Duke Frederick

I would thou hadst been son to some man else: The world esteem’d thy father honourable, But I did find him still mine enemy: Thou shouldst have better pleased me with this deed, Hadst thou descended from another house. But fare thee well; thou art a gallant youth: I would thou hadst told me of another father.

Duke Frederick

I wish you were the son of someone else: The world thought your father was honorable, But I always considered him my enemy: You would have pleased me more with this act, If you had come from another family. But farewell; you’re a brave young man: I wish you had told me of a different father.

Exeunt DUKE FREDERICK, train, and LE BEAU
Exeunt DUKE FREDERICK, train, and LE BEAU
Celia

Were I my father, coz, would I do this?

Celia

If I were my father, cousin, would I do this?

Orlando

I am more proud to be Sir Rowland’s son, His youngest son; and would not change that calling, To be adopted heir to Frederick.

Orlando

I’m proud to be Sir Rowland’s son, His youngest son; I wouldn’t trade that role, To be adopted heir to Frederick.

Rosalind

My father loved Sir Rowland as his soul, And all the world was of my father’s mind: Had I before known this young man his son, I should have given him tears unto entreaties, Ere he should thus have ventured.

Rosalind

My father loved Sir Rowland like his own soul, And everyone agreed with my father’s view: If I had known before that this young man was his son, I would have begged him not to take this risk, Before he ever ventured to do this.

Celia

Gentle cousin, Let us go thank him and encourage him: My father’s rough and envious disposition Sticks me at heart. Sir, you have well deserved: If you do keep your promises in love But justly, as you have exceeded all promise, Your mistress shall be happy.

Celia

Dear cousin, Let’s go thank him and encourage him: My father’s harsh and jealous nature Weighs heavily on my heart. Sir, you’ve earned this: If you keep your promises in love And do so fairly, as you’ve already gone beyond expectations, Your lady will be happy.

Rosalind

Gentleman,

Rosalind

Sir,

Giving him a chain from her neck
Giving him a chain from her neck
Rosalind

Wear this for me, one out of suits with fortune, That could give more, but that her hand lacks means. Shall we go, coz?

Rosalind

Wear this for me, someone who’s out of favor with fortune, Who could give more, but whose hand is limited. Shall we go, cousin?

Celia

Ay. Fare you well, fair gentleman.

Celia

Yes. Farewell, fair sir.

Orlando

Can I not say, I thank you? My better parts Are all thrown down, and that which here stands up Is but a quintain, a mere lifeless block.

Orlando

Can’t I just say, thank you? My better qualities Are all knocked down, and what remains standing Is just a target, a lifeless piece of wood.

Rosalind

He calls us back: my pride fell with my fortunes; I’ll ask him what he would. Did you call, sir? Sir, you have wrestled well and overthrown More than your enemies.

Rosalind

He’s calling us back: my pride has fallen with my fortunes; I’ll ask him what he wants. Did you call, sir? Sir, you’ve wrestled well and beaten More than just your enemies.

Celia

Will you go, coz?

Celia

Are you coming, cousin?

Rosalind

Have with you. Fare you well.

Rosalind

I’m coming. Farewell.

Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA
Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA
Orlando

What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue? I cannot speak to her, yet she urged conference. O poor Orlando, thou art overthrown! Or Charles or something weaker masters thee.

Orlando

What’s causing this heavy weight on my tongue? I can’t speak to her, yet she asked me to talk. Oh, poor Orlando, you’ve been defeated! Either Charles or someone weaker has beaten you.

Re-enter LE BEAU
Re-enter LE BEAU
Le Beau

Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you To leave this place. Albeit you have deserved High commendation, true applause and love, Yet such is now the duke’s condition That he misconstrues all that you have done. The duke is humorous; what he is indeed, More suits you to conceive than I to speak of.

Le Beau

Good sir, I’m advising you as a friend To leave this place. Even though you’ve earned High praise, real applause, and love, The duke is in such a mood right now That he’ll misunderstand everything you’ve done. The duke is unpredictable; what he really is, Is better for you to understand than for me to explain.

Orlando

I thank you, sir: and, pray you, tell me this: Which of the two was daughter of the duke That here was at the wrestling?

Orlando

Thank you, sir: and please tell me this: Which of the two was the duke’s daughter Who was here at the wrestling?

Le Beau

Neither his daughter, if we judge by manners; But yet indeed the lesser is his daughter The other is daughter to the banish’d duke, And here detain’d by her usurping uncle, To keep his daughter company; whose loves Are dearer than the natural bond of sisters. But I can tell you that of late this duke Hath ta’en displeasure ’gainst his gentle niece, Grounded upon no other argument But that the people praise her for her virtues And pity her for her good father’s sake; And, on my life, his malice ’gainst the lady Will suddenly break forth. Sir, fare you well: Hereafter, in a better world than this, I shall desire more love and knowledge of you.

Le Beau

Neither of them is his daughter, if we judge by behavior; But the younger one is his daughter, The other is the daughter of the exiled duke, And she’s being kept here by her usurping uncle, To stay with his daughter; whose affections Are stronger than the natural bond of sisters. But I can tell you that recently this duke Has become displeased with his gentle niece, For no reason except that people praise her for her virtues And feel sorry for her because of her good father; And, I swear, his hatred for her will soon be revealed. Sir, farewell: In a better world than this, I hope to know you better and love you more.

Orlando

I rest much bounden to you: fare you well.

Orlando

I’m very grateful to you: farewell.

Exit LE BEAU
Exit LE BEAU
Orlando

Thus must I from the smoke into the smother; From tyrant duke unto a tyrant brother: But heavenly Rosalind!

Orlando

Now I must go from bad to worse; From a tyrant duke to a tyrant brother: But heavenly Rosalind!

Exit
Exit

End of Act 1, Scene 2

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