All's Well That Ends Well · Act 4, Scene 1

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Enter Second French Lord, with five or six other Soldiers in ambush
Enter Second French Lord, with five or six other Soldiers in ambush
Second Lord

He can come no other way but by this hedge-corner. When you sally upon him, speak what terrible language you will: though you understand it not yourselves, no matter; for we must not seem to understand him, unless some one among us whom we must produce for an interpreter.

Second Lord

He can’t come any other way except through this hedge. When you attack him, say whatever threatening words you want: even if you don’t understand them yourselves, it doesn’t matter; because we shouldn’t act like we understand him, unless one of us is assigned to translate.

First Soldier

Good captain, let me be the interpreter.

First Soldier

Good captain, let me be the translator.

Second Lord

Art not acquainted with him? knows he not thy voice?

Second Lord

Don’t you know him? Doesn’t he recognize your voice?

First Soldier

No, sir, I warrant you.

First Soldier

No, sir, I swear he doesn’t.

Second Lord

But what linsey-woolsey hast thou to speak to us again?

Second Lord

What kind of nonsense are you going to speak to us then?

First Soldier

E’en such as you speak to me.

First Soldier

Exactly the same nonsense you speak to me.

Second Lord

He must think us some band of strangers i’ the adversary’s entertainment. Now he hath a smack of all neighbouring languages; therefore we must every one be a man of his own fancy, not to know what we speak one to another; so we seem to know, is to know straight our purpose: choughs’ language, gabble enough, and good enough. As for you, interpreter, you must seem very politic. But couch, ho! here he comes, to beguile two hours in a sleep, and then to return and swear the lies he forges.

Second Lord

He’ll probably think we’re just a group of strangers in the enemy’s service. He probably knows a little bit of every nearby language, so we all need to act like we’re speaking gibberish to each other. If we seem to know what we’re saying, it’ll give away our plan. Just use nonsense words, silly sounds, and that’ll be fine. As for you, translator, you’ll have to look very clever. But get ready, here he comes, hoping to kill two hours napping, and then come back and lie through his teeth.

Enter PAROLLES
Enter PAROLLES
Parolles

Ten o’clock: within these three hours ’twill be time enough to go home. What shall I say I have done? It must be a very plausive invention that carries it: they begin to smoke me; and disgraces have of late knocked too often at my door. I find my tongue is too foolhardy; but my heart hath the fear of Mars before it and of his creatures, not daring the reports of my tongue.

Parolles

Ten o’clock: in three hours it’ll be late enough to go home. What should I say I’ve been doing? It has to be a really good story if I want them to believe it. They’re starting to figure me out; and lately, bad things have been happening to me too often. I feel like I’m talking too boldly, but my heart is scared of Mars and all his soldiers, and I’m too scared to trust my own words.

Second Lord

This is the first truth that e’er thine own tongue was guilty of.

Second Lord

This is the first honest thing your own mouth has ever said.

Parolles

What the devil should move me to undertake the recovery of this drum, being not ignorant of the impossibility, and knowing I had no such purpose? I must give myself some hurts, and say I got them in exploit: yet slight ones will not carry it; they will say, ’Came you off with so little?’ and great ones I dare not give. Wherefore, what’s the instance? Tongue, I must put you into a butter-woman’s mouth and buy myself another of Bajazet’s mule, if you prattle me into these perils.

Parolles

What on earth made me think I could get this drum back, knowing it was impossible and that I had no real plan? I’ll have to hurt myself and say I got these injuries in battle: but if they’re too small, people will laugh and say, “Is that all?” And if they’re too big, I can’t risk it. So, what do I do now? My tongue’s about to get me into trouble, I might as well put it in the mouth of a gossiping woman and get myself another of Bajazet’s mules if I keep talking myself into these situations.

Second Lord

Is it possible he should know what he is, and be that he is?

Second Lord

Is it possible he knows what he is, and yet still is that way?

Parolles

I would the cutting of my garments would serve the turn, or the breaking of my Spanish sword.

Parolles

I wish tearing my clothes or breaking my Spanish sword would get me out of this.

Second Lord

We cannot afford you so.

Second Lord

We can’t help you with that.

Parolles

Or the baring of my beard; and to say it was in stratagem.

Parolles

Or by showing my beard, and claiming it was part of a trick.

Second Lord

’Twould not do.

Second Lord

That wouldn’t work.

Parolles

Or to drown my clothes, and say I was stripped.

Parolles

Or by drowning my clothes and saying I was stripped naked.

Second Lord

Hardly serve.

Second Lord

That would hardly help.

Parolles

Though I swore I leaped from the window of the citadel.

Parolles

Even if I swore I jumped from the top of the fortress.

Second Lord

How deep?

Second Lord

How far did you fall?

Parolles

Thirty fathom.

Parolles

Thirty fathoms.

Second Lord

Three great oaths would scarce make that be believed.

Second Lord

Even three strong oaths wouldn’t make anyone believe that.

Parolles

I would I had any drum of the enemy’s: I would swear I recovered it.

Parolles

I wish I had a drum from the enemy’s side: I’d swear I got it back.

Second Lord

You shall hear one anon.

Second Lord

You’ll hear one shortly.

Parolles

A drum now of the enemy’s,--

Parolles

A drum from the enemy’s side, now,--

Alarum within
Alarum within
Second Lord

Throca movousus, cargo, cargo, cargo.

Second Lord

Throca movousus, cargo, cargo, cargo.

All

Cargo, cargo, cargo, villiando par corbo, cargo.

All

Cargo, cargo, cargo, villiando par corbo, cargo.

Parolles

O, ransom, ransom! do not hide mine eyes.

Parolles

Oh, ransom, ransom! Don’t cover my eyes.

They seize and blindfold him
They seize and blindfold him
First Soldier

Boskos thromuldo boskos.

First Soldier

Boskos thromuldo boskos.

Parolles

I know you are the Muskos’ regiment: And I shall lose my life for want of language; If there be here German, or Dane, low Dutch, Italian, or French, let him speak to me; I’ll Discover that which shall undo the Florentine.

Parolles

I know you’re from the Muskos’ regiment: And I’ll lose my life because I can’t speak the language; If there’s anyone here who speaks German, Danish, low Dutch, Italian, or French, let him talk to me; I’ll Reveal something that will destroy the Florentine.

First Soldier

Boskos vauvado: I understand thee, and can speak thy tongue. Kerely bonto, sir, betake thee to thy faith, for seventeen poniards are at thy bosom.

First Soldier

Boskos vauvado: I understand you, and can speak your language. Kerely bonto, sir, take care of your faith, because there are seventeen daggers at your chest.

Parolles

O!

Parolles

Oh!

First Soldier

O, pray, pray, pray! Manka revania dulche.

First Soldier

Oh, pray, pray, pray! Manka revania dulche.

Second Lord

Oscorbidulchos volivorco.

Second Lord

Oscorbidulchos volivorco.

First Soldier

The general is content to spare thee yet; And, hoodwink’d as thou art, will lead thee on To gather from thee: haply thou mayst inform Something to save thy life.

First Soldier

The general is willing to spare you for now; And, blindfolded as you are, will lead you on To get something from you: perhaps you’ll tell us Something that could save your life.

Parolles

O, let me live! And all the secrets of our camp I’ll show, Their force, their purposes; nay, I’ll speak that Which you will wonder at.

Parolles

Oh, let me live! And I’ll reveal all the secrets of our camp, Their strength, their plans; I’ll even tell you things That will amaze you.

First Soldier

But wilt thou faithfully?

First Soldier

But will you be honest?

Parolles

If I do not, damn me.

Parolles

If I don’t, damn me.

First Soldier

Acordo linta. Come on; thou art granted space.

First Soldier

Acordo linta. Go on; you have some time.

Exit, with PAROLLES guarded. A short alarum within
Exit, with PAROLLES guarded. A short alarum within
Second Lord

Go, tell the Count Rousillon, and my brother, We have caught the woodcock, and will keep him muffled Till we do hear from them.

Second Lord

Go, tell Count Rousillon, and my brother, We’ve caught the fool, and will keep him blindfolded Until we hear from them.

Second Soldier

Captain, I will.

Second Soldier

Captain, I will.

Second Lord

A’ will betray us all unto ourselves: Inform on that.

Second Lord

He’ll betray us all to ourselves: Report on that.

Second Soldier

So I will, sir.

Second Soldier

I will, sir.

Second Lord

Till then I’ll keep him dark and safely lock’d.

Second Lord

Until then, I’ll keep him hidden and locked up safely.

Exuent
Exeunt

End of Act 4, Scene 1

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