All's Well That Ends Well · Act 2, Scene 4

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Enter HELENA and Clown
Enter HELENA and Clown
Helena

My mother greets me kindly; is she well?

Helena

My mother greeted me warmly; is she okay?

Clown

She is not well; but yet she has her health: she’s very merry; but yet she is not well: but thanks be given, she’s very well and wants nothing i’, the world; but yet she is not well.

Clown

She’s not great; but she’s in good health: she’s very happy; but still, she’s not well: but thank God she’s fine and wants for nothing in the world; but still she’s not well.

Helena

If she be very well, what does she ail, that she’s not very well?

Helena

If she’s perfectly fine, why isn’t she well then?

Clown

Truly, she’s very well indeed, but for two things.

Clown

Honestly, she’s fine, except for two things.

Helena

What two things?

Helena

What are the two things?

Clown

One, that she’s not in heaven, whither God send her quickly! the other that she’s in earth, from whence God send her quickly!

Clown

One, she’s not in heaven, where I hope she’ll go soon! The other, she’s here on earth, where I hope she’ll leave soon!

Enter PAROLLES
Enter PAROLLES
Parolles

Bless you, my fortunate lady!

Parolles

Bless you, my lucky lady!

Helena

I hope, sir, I have your good will to have mine own good fortunes.

Helena

I hope, sir, that I have your good wishes to help me with my own good fortune.

Parolles

You had my prayers to lead them on; and to keep them on, have them still. O, my knave, how does my old lady?

Parolles

You had my prayers to guide you; and to keep them with you, I hope you always have them. Oh, my friend, how is my old lady?

Clown

So that you had her wrinkles and I her money, I would she did as you say.

Clown

If only I had her wrinkles and you had her money, I’d wish she did as you say.

Parolles

Why, I say nothing.

Parolles

Well, I’ll say nothing.

Clown

Marry, you are the wiser man; for many a man’s tongue shakes out his master’s undoing: to say nothing, to do nothing, to know nothing, and to have nothing, is to be a great part of your title; which is within a very little of nothing.

Clown

Well, you’re the wiser man; many a man’s words lead to his own ruin: to say nothing, to do nothing, to know nothing, and to have nothing, that’s a big part of your title; which is pretty close to nothing.

Parolles

Away! thou’rt a knave.

Parolles

Get away! you’re a scoundrel.

Clown

You should have said, sir, before a knave thou’rt a knave; that’s, before me thou’rt a knave: this had been truth, sir.

Clown

You should have said, sir, that before being a scoundrel, you are a scoundrel; that’s, before me, you’re a scoundrel: this would have been the truth, sir.

Parolles

Go to, thou art a witty fool; I have found thee.

Parolles

Go on, you’re a clever fool; I’ve figured you out.

Clown

Did you find me in yourself, sir? or were you taught to find me? The search, sir, was profitable; and much fool may you find in you, even to the world’s pleasure and the increase of laughter.

Clown

Did you find me in yourself, sir? Or did someone teach you how to find me? The search, sir, was worth it; and you’ll find a lot of foolishness in you, which will surely please the world and make people laugh more.

Parolles

A good knave, i’ faith, and well fed. Madam, my lord will go away to-night; A very serious business calls on him. The great prerogative and rite of love, Which, as your due, time claims, he does acknowledge; But puts it off to a compell’d restraint; Whose want, and whose delay, is strew’d with sweets, Which they distil now in the curbed time, To make the coming hour o’erflow with joy And pleasure drown the brim.

Parolles

A good scoundrel, really, and well-fed. Madam, my lord will leave tonight; A very serious matter is calling him. The great privilege and duty of love, which, as you deserve, time demands, he does acknowledge; But he’s delaying it to a forced break; whose lack, and whose delay, are filled with sweetness, which they now create in this restricted time, To make the coming hour overflow with joy And pleasure will flood over.

Helena

What’s his will else?

Helena

What else does he want?

Parolles

That you will take your instant leave o’ the king And make this haste as your own good proceeding, Strengthen’d with what apology you think May make it probable need.

Parolles

That you should immediately leave the king, And make this hurry seem like your own decision, Supported by any apology you think Will make it look like a necessary thing.

Helena

What more commands he?

Helena

What other orders does he have?

Parolles

That, having this obtain’d, you presently Attend his further pleasure.

Parolles

That once this is done, you should immediately Wait for his further instructions.

Helena

In every thing I wait upon his will.

Helena

I will follow his will in everything.

Parolles

I shall report it so.

Parolles

I’ll report it like that.

Helena

I pray you.

Helena

Please, do.

Exit PAROLLES
Exit PAROLLES
Helena

Come, sirrah.

Helena

Come on, servant.

Exuent
Exeunt

End of Act 2, Scene 4

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