Original
Modern English
Come on, sir; I shall now put you to the height of your breeding.
Come on, sir; I’ll now put you to the test of your upbringing.
I will show myself highly fed and lowly taught: I know my business is but to the court.
I will show myself well-fed and poorly taught: I know my place is just to serve at court.
To the court! why, what place make you special, when you put off that with such contempt? But to the court!
To the court! Why, what makes you so special, when you treat it with such disdain? But to the court!
Truly, madam, if God have lent a man any manners, he may easily put it off at court: he that cannot make a leg, put off’s cap, kiss his hand and say nothing, has neither leg, hands, lip, nor cap; and indeed such a fellow, to say precisely, were not for the court; but for me, I have an answer will serve all men.
Honestly, madam, if God has given a man any manners, he can easily leave them behind at court: he who can’t bow, take off his hat, kiss his hand and say nothing, has no legs, hands, lips, or hat; and really, someone like that, to be exact, wouldn’t belong at the court; but as for me, I have an answer that works for all men.
Marry, that’s a bountiful answer that fits all questions.
Well, that’s a generous answer that suits all questions.
It is like a barber’s chair that fits all buttocks, the pin-buttock, the quatch-buttock, the brawn buttock, or any buttock.
It’s like a barber’s chair that fits all kinds of butts, the flat butt, the big butt, the thick butt, or any butt.
Will your answer serve fit to all questions?
Will your answer really work for all questions?
As fit as ten groats is for the hand of an attorney, as your French crown for your taffeta punk, as Tib’s rush for Tom’s forefinger, as a pancake for Shrove Tuesday, a morris for May-day, as the nail to his hole, the cuckold to his horn, as a scolding queen to a wrangling knave, as the nun’s lip to the friar’s mouth, nay, as the pudding to his skin.
As well as ten pence is for a lawyer’s hand, as your French coin for your fancy girl, as Tib’s rush for Tom’s finger, as a pancake for Shrove Tuesday, a dance for May-day, as the nail to its hole, the cuckold to his horn, as a nagging wife to a bickering man, as the nun’s lip to the friar’s mouth, or as the pudding to its skin.
Have you, I say, an answer of such fitness for all questions?
Do you really have an answer that fits all questions?
From below your duke to beneath your constable, it will fit any question.
From the duke down to your constable, it will work for any question.
It must be an answer of most monstrous size that must fit all demands.
It must be an answer of enormous size to cover all demands.
But a trifle neither, in good faith, if the learned should speak truth of it: here it is, and all that belongs to’t. Ask me if I am a courtier: it shall do you no harm to learn.
But it’s nothing big, honestly, if the wise people were to speak the truth about it: here it is, and all that goes with it. Ask me if I’m a courtier: it won’t hurt you to find out.
To be young again, if we could: I will be a fool in question, hoping to be the wiser by your answer. I pray you, sir, are you a courtier?
If only we could be young again: I’ll be a fool in asking, hoping to become wiser with your answer. I beg you, sir, are you a courtier?
O Lord, sir! There’s a simple putting off. More, more, a hundred of them.
Oh, Lord, sir! That’s an easy thing to get out of. More, more, a hundred times more.
Sir, I am a poor friend of yours, that loves you.
Sir, I’m just a poor friend of yours, who loves you.
O Lord, sir! Thick, thick, spare not me.
Oh, Lord, sir! Thick, thick, don’t hold back on me.
I think, sir, you can eat none of this homely meat.
I think, sir, you can’t eat any of this humble food.
O Lord, sir! Nay, put me to’t, I warrant you.
Oh, Lord, sir! No, make me do it, I promise you.
You were lately whipped, sir, as I think.
You were recently whipped, sir, as I recall.
O Lord, sir! spare not me.
Oh Lord, sir! don’t punish me.
Do you cry, ’O Lord, sir!’ at your whipping, and ’spare not me?’ Indeed your ’O Lord, sir!’ is very sequent to your whipping: you would answer very well to a whipping, if you were but bound to’t.
Are you saying, "Oh Lord, sir!" when you’re being whipped, and "don’t punish me?" Your "Oh Lord, sir!" fits right after your whipping: you’d react perfectly to a whipping if you were tied up for it.
I ne’er had worse luck in my life in my ’O Lord, sir!’ I see things may serve long, but not serve ever.
I’ve never had worse luck in my life than with my "Oh Lord, sir!" I see that things can last a long time, but not forever.
I play the noble housewife with the time To entertain’t so merrily with a fool.
I act the role of a noble housewife with time To entertain it happily with a fool.
O Lord, sir! why, there’t serves well again.
Oh Lord, sir! Well, that works again.
An end, sir; to your business. Give Helen this, And urge her to a present answer back: Commend me to my kinsmen and my son: This is not much.
Enough, sir, with your nonsense. Give Helen this, And tell her to respond right away: Say hello to my relatives and my son: That’s not much.
Not much commendation to them.
Not much praise for them.
Not much employment for you: you understand me?
Not much work for you: do you understand me?
Most fruitfully: I am there before my legs.
Very well: I’m there before my feet.
Haste you again.
Hurry back.