Original
Modern English
Have you sent to Bottom’s house ? is he come home yet?
Have you been to Bottom’s house? Has he come back yet?
He cannot be heard of. Out of doubt he is transported.
We can’t find him. He’s definitely been taken away.
If he come not, then the play is marred: it goes not forward, doth it?
If he doesn’t come, the play’s ruined: it won’t go on, will it?
It is not possible: you have not a man in all Athens able to discharge Pyramus but he.
That’s impossible: there’s no one in all of Athens who can play Pyramus except him.
No, he hath simply the best wit of any handicraft man in Athens.
No, he’s definitely the smartest guy of any tradesman in Athens.
Yea and the best person too; and he is a very paramour for a sweet voice.
Yeah, and the best-looking too; he’s got a really lovely voice.
You must say ’paragon:’ a paramour is, God bless us, a thing of naught.
You should say "paragon": a paramour is, God help us, a worthless person.
Masters, the duke is coming from the temple, and there is two or three lords and ladies more married: if our sport had gone forward, we had all been made men.
Guys, the duke is coming from the temple, and there are two or three other lords and ladies getting married: if our play had gone on, we’d all be famous now.
O sweet bully Bottom! Thus hath he lost sixpence a day during his life; he could not have ’scaped sixpence a day: an the duke had not given him sixpence a day for playing Pyramus, I’ll be hanged; he would have deserved it: sixpence a day in Pyramus, or nothing.
Oh, sweet, brave Bottom! He’s lost sixpence a day for his whole life; he couldn’t have avoided losing sixpence a day: if the duke hadn’t paid him sixpence a day to play Pyramus, I swear, he would’ve deserved it: sixpence a day for playing Pyramus, or nothing.
Where are these lads? where are these hearts?
Where are these guys? Where are these people?
Bottom! O most courageous day! O most happy hour!
Bottom! Oh, what a brave day! Oh, what a happy hour!
Masters, I am to discourse wonders: but ask me not what; for if I tell you, I am no true Athenian. I will tell you every thing, right as it fell out.
Guys, I’ve got some amazing stories to tell, but don’t ask me what they are; because if I tell you, I’m no true Athenian. I will tell you everything, exactly as it happened.
Let us hear, sweet Bottom.
Let’s hear it, sweet Bottom.
Not a word of me. All that I will tell you is, that the duke hath dined. Get your apparel together, good strings to your beards, new ribbons to your pumps; meet presently at the palace; every man look o’er his part; for the short and the long is, our play is preferred. In any case, let Thisby have clean linen; and let not him that plays the lion pair his nails, for they shall hang out for the lion’s claws. And, most dear actors, eat no onions nor garlic, for we are to utter sweet breath; and I do not doubt but to hear them say, it is a sweet comedy. No more words: away! go, away!
Not a word about me. All I’ll tell you is that the duke has eaten. Get your costumes together, fix your beards, put new ribbons on your shoes; meet at the palace right away; every man review his part; because the bottom line is, our play has been chosen. In any case, make sure Thisby has clean clothes; and don’t let the guy playing the lion trim his nails, because they need to look like the lion’s claws. And, most important actors, don’t eat onions or garlic, because we’re supposed to smell sweet, and I have no doubt they’ll say it’s a lovely comedy. No more talking: let’s go! Hurry, go!